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Relationship talks

How to make the next steps work

By Chris RicksPublished 2 years ago 4 min read
Relationship talks
Photo by Justin Follis on Unsplash

Relationships are the very foundation of our society. Relationships help us to define who we are. The idiom, “no man is an island,” speaks volume about relationships as it highlights the necessity of relationships. We need relationships. Relationship between parents, aunts and uncles, siblings, cousins, and other relatives and family members are important to the growth and development of a person. Their personality, self-esteem, and world views are reflective of the successful (nonsuccess) relationships they’ve experienced in their lifetime.
The extraordinarily relationship between individuals that involves intimacy is our natural urge or longing for companionship. This relationship type is woven into the fabric of mankind. Our natural instinct to procreate leads us into sexual acts not necessarily for the aforementioned purpose but nonetheless, nature takes control at times.
We meet someone and determine after spending some time together that we cannot see a future without waking up to that person so we decide to form a union.
As a newly engaged couple, there are a list of items the couple must address before taking the next step.
Marriage is a lifelong commitment to one another but there are just as many divorces as there are marriages. Some of the curated reason are addressed below.
First, many people fall in lust and not love. The lust for one another physically is so strong that it temporarily clouds judgement and disables logical thinking. This lust is not an overnight feeling. It can last for years and when it finally wears off, there is a war pending.
To fight against falling in lust and not love, there are questions the couple should ask of one another. Getting to know someone is not always about knowing their favorite color or movie. It’s also knowing their plans for the future and what those plans would look like with each other.
If the plans don’t align, the relationship won’t work. Start with simple issues but be sure to cover these main issues.
How do you feel about children, do you plan on having children (why or why not), if so, how many?
If any of you or both of you already have kids, how do you feel about more. The next question assuming one or both already have kids, do you have life insurance, if something were to happen to you today what will happen with your children? Do you have an estimate plan or will?
These questions might seem a bit invasive but they are a necessity prior to marriage. Once married, these plans (already established) should just be modified to include the spouse.
The next set of questions revolve around intimacy. These questions allow the couple to have reasonable expectations about sex.
How important is sex to you? Why is it so important or unimportant? What do you expect from your partner sexually? Are you adventurous or conservative?
How do you feel about giving or receiving compliments? Why? Boosting your partner’s ego or esteem is an important factor in a successful relationship. Women and men who don’t receive the stroking of their ego (as I tend to call it) will venture out to find someone who does or will become interested in someone who does shower them with compliments
The next set of questions involve living together and creating a new family. What do you feel about home ownership? Some people don’t mind renting, while others want to own something tangible that can be passed down and increase the family’s generational Wellbeing.
Where do you plan on settling down? What state, city, country, etc. A couple should decide this together base on agreed upon factors.
One of the members of the pair may want to live in D.C. while the other in Miami. Sometimes one will move with the other just to make that person happy and forfeit their own happiness. This is usually a recipe for disaster.
The next set of questions might seem a bit trivial but they are necessary. I’ll end with this set.
How do you feel about family gatherings or large family functions? How do you feel about having company over? How frequently or infrequent? Why do you feel that way?
This set of questions address the social butterfly in the relationship and will eliminate contention between the couple and their friends and family later on. Some people love big crowds will others don’t. Some people love entertaining guests while others don’t. Some people don’t mind company 7 days a week while others do mind. It’s best to learn these things straight away than to find out after your nuptials. heRelationshiplps. If I missed something or you want to discuss a section send me a message on Instagram or Facebook or email me: [email protected]

Hope this helps. If I missed something or you want to discuss a section send me a message on Instagram or Facebook or email me: [email protected]

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About the Creator

Chris Ricks

Father, writer, activist, motivational speaker. God first. Follow me IG: @chrisricksauthor Twitter: @chrisricks FB:

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