Picture This: Holy. Freakin'. Crap.

Picture this:

Your 26, and just unlocked the front door to your apartment, step son in tow to make it inside the living room before you do. He pulls it off, his backpack being hurled into the couch that's on the other side of the room.

"Mommy!" he shouts with authority, "We're home!"

"Dude, inside voice," I say calmly.

That's me. twenty-six, full time job, hair falling out and gut coming in me. Changed a lot in the last 4 years, I'll tell you what.

My hang my jacket up on the back of the front door, the only door, and head down the hallway to the bedroom. My other half dwells there when she isn't working. She dwells in the kitchen as well, but only to feed the other two humans that live within her home.

Now I'm in the bedroom. My wife is curled up in bed, phone screen lighting up her soft and adorable face. Next to her is a fat grey tabby cat with white paws, and a belly that swings with each step.

He jumps up from my spot to greet me, but my wife's lightning fast hands catch him, pulling him back into the bed.

"Let him go!" I challenge her.

"No!" she looks up at me, "he stay!"

The He in question only yowled, trying in vain to turn and bite my wife. He's fat, let's not forget, so that attack fails before it even begins.

Brown the cat struggles a bit more to bite, then lays his head down in defeat. I approach the bed, and he again springs up, this time wiggling away from my wife's loving grasp. She hates when I call her my wife, so I call her "my girl" when she's next to me. "I'm not your property," she reminds me often out of love.

Now I'm falling into bed, my jeans are cast into the chair next to the TV stand, and I find the remote. It's a challenge to be sure, being as the woman who shares my bed sleeps every way possible in the span of five minutes.

Now it's time to let me ADD kick in all the way while I watch Family Guy. Ah, now we get to the central point of what this is all about. A f**king cartoon.

Yes! a fracking cartoon, Louis. I have watched Family Guy, and Futurama, more times than I could count. Probably around a million, like for real. I've seen the first episode all the way up to the most recent episode, and everything in between.

The Blue Harvest Episode is one of my favorites, and my wife refuses to watch it. She's never seen Star Wars, but that's not a deal breaker for me.

When Family Guy aired the first time in 1999, it's on-the-nose comedy was something that a lot of people didn't think would make the cut in the word of TV. Well, they were partially right. Family Guy would see two cancelations, in 2000 and 2002 respectfully. The show bounced back however, and has now aired over 300+ episodes. I love every single one of them. The first season to the most recent season. The first cut away to the first Peter Griffin vs The Chicken fight. Everything about the show is fantastic, and I know hundreds of people will agree with me.

I could quote Family Guy on a fairly unreal level, and my wife can too. We watch Family Guy when "something else" is just something we don't want to get into right now.

Family Guy has been nominated for a ton of awards, and won several of them. Not all of them, because there are still people out there that think the show is "too much" or "just not funny." To them, I say this.

"That's cool. You do you, and I'll do me. No, I do think the show is funny. I'm sorry you don't think it is, and I get that it's a cartoon. I enjoy it, and it lets my brain take a long ass drink of ADD infused water. Have a nice day."

Oh, Family Guy. Other shows like Family Guy too. There's supposed to be a part in this where I recomend you shows like Family Guy, right? Well, this list below will do that:

1. Futurama. My second favorite cartoon on TV.

2. Bob's Burgers. A show that I watched all the way through because my wife wanted to strangle me when she found out I had never seen a single episode. I enjoyed it very much.

3. Brickleberry. This one has animals humping in the very beginning, and is much more cut and dry with it's theme and comedy. I have a quote that I verbal exchange with my wife on a weekly basis, and it was derived from this show.

I expected this list to be longer. Oh, you didn't? Ok, good then. Let's move on to the finale. The ending.

While this article wasn't long, this is a television show that I can space out to, and I do indeed recommend it as my "perfect formula." It's funny, it's dark, it's witty, and clever. It can honestly be cute and romantic at times, but only whenever Peter Griffin royally f**ks up and has to make amends with his wife Louis. That woman has nerves of steel. You go girl.

I enjoy Family Guy because it allows me to pay attention, and at the same time be on a different plane of existence, all while thinking about something that happened to me six years ago in high school. It's a good all rounder for getting mentally lost in your head. I can totally recommend it, and I can recommend that list that was created above as well.

Remember this too: When you come home from a long day, tired and not ready to do anything, just remember I feel the same dam way.

If you liked this short article, consider looking at my longer article that has an actual plot, and characters. Legacy of the Sea: a Tide of Wolves, is available on Amazon. The price should be dropping sooner than later, so that gives in more room to be looked at. I hope to be looked at in turn to as an author who, despite his young age, loves his work and the people who appreciate it. You can check out my book here:

https://www.amazon.com/Legacy-Sea-Rising-Tristan-Palmer-ebook/dp/B01LWA42N2/ref=sr_1_9?dchild=1&keywords=legacy+of+the+sea&qid=1614904619&sr=8-9

And now I hope you all have a grand evening. Thanks for reading.