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On The Rocks

Wedding Day

By Diana AndersonPublished 3 years ago 5 min read
9

It seemed like it had been so long since he had been here. Really, it had only been a few months. But in those few months he'd lived an entire life. Time slowed down now that she wasn't there. Walking to the rock, "their rock" as they had come to call it, brought back a burst of memories--her giggling as she slipped on the moss, the sunlight spilling through the clouds across her face, a single kiss stolen before a wave splashed them both with sea spray. He could feel the now familiar way his heart began to pound harder and faster. , his breath coming in short, shallow gasps. He sat down on the rock, the waves lapping at his feet, and waited for the panic attack to subside. He had forgotten to bring his pills, which the doctor had prescribed after he'd nearly lost his mind at the funeral. He'd never experienced a panic attack before then and had assumed he was dying of grief. How stupid of him to forget the pills now, on such an important day--their wedding day.

He started out to sea, resting his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands together. The day was overcast and just a bit drizzly. Instead of its usual blue, the water was grey. The last time he had been here, sitting on this very rock, she had been next to him, laughing and planning out their future. They had been so excited. She had talked about how many kids they would have, what kind of house they would live in, where they would travel.

How could she have been so stupid, he thought, coming out here alone in a rain storm? She had to have known the waves would be stronger and the rocks would be slicker. Of course, if he hadn't gotten mad at her and taken off in the car to cool off, she wouldn't have felt the need to come alone. All over a stupid misunderstanding.

Everyone tried to tell him it wasn't his fault; there was no way he could have known what had happened, nor had he made the decision to come out here alone. But their words were meaningless; words couldn't change the way he felt.

He pulled out the picture of the two of them he always kept in his wallet. It was his favorite. Her arms were wrapped around his chest and her head rested on his back. She was smiling and bright blue eyes were looking straight at the camera. Her brunette hair had been pulled back, but a few stray hairs framed her oval face. Her smile always made her eyes light up. Sobs slowly escaped his chest and he rested his head in his hands, grief swallowing him. He'd always detested crying in himself; it was weak and useless. But when you lose the one you love, nothing made sense anymore. All your beliefs go out the window and slam to the ground, breaking into a million pieces.

"Thought I might find you here," a voice said. He looked up to see his brother standing on the rocks behind him.

"John," he said. "What are you doing here?"

John climbed across the bigger of the two rocks and sat down next to him. His feet rested on a smaller rock jutting out of the water. "Mom's worried about you. You weren't answering your phone. She asked me to find you."

He wiped the tears from his eyes and turned away. John put a hand on his shoulder. "You shouldn't be alone. Not today."

"Where else could I go, John?" he asked. "I miss her so much."

"I know, man. I know. Ellie was something special. She was beautiful inside and out," John said, quietly.

"Did I ever tell you the fisherman who pulled her out of the water called me the day after the funeral?" he asked, looking down at the water lapping over his feet. He hadn't even noticed his shoes were wet. The water was so crystal clear. The only clear thing in his life right now.

John's gaze searched his face, concerned. He slowly shook his head. "No. You never told me that."

"He said he'd seen her obituary in the newspaper and how sorry he was. He wished he could have done something more, but she was already gone by the time he got to shore. He told me he would do anything to bring her back." He looked at John, tears in his eyes. "Why couldn't I have been there for her?"

"This isn't your fault, man, you know that. Come on. Let's go back to Mom's. Today's not a day to be alone," John told him, trying to pull him up as he stood.

"Just give me another minute, please," he pleaded.

John sighed and looked down a the rocks, his hands in his pockets. "I'll be in my truck if you need me."

He only nodded in response. After John's steps faded into silence, he closed his eyes, imagining she was there with him. The medics told him she had hit her head on a rock, probably knocking her out. The waves were so strong they pulled her body out, away from the beach. But now, in his mind, she was there next to him, running her fingers through his hair, laughing, and smiling. When sitting there, she would sometimes splash him with the water. He would pretend to get mad, but they both knew he loved her playful side.

After a moment he heard a soft clinking. Looking down he saw a silver chain being pushed into the rock below him, clinking each time the waves rolled in. He reached down and grabbed it. His eyes widened in surprise once he realized what he held: the heart-shaped locket he'd given her on her last birthday, just a few months before she died. She had loved it and worn it every day afterward. He opened the locket to find their picture was still in it. Somehow the picture was still in tact. He could see it was a copy of the one he carried in his wallet, the picture he'd been looking at only moments before.

He looked up to the sky and smiled, tears running down his face. Somehow, he knew she was looking over him. She had been waiting for him to return to their rock so she could return the locket to him. He stood and sighed, keeping his eyes to the sky. At that moment the sun broke through the clouds, shining onto his face. Laughing, he held his arms out to the side, letting the warmth of the rays fill him. This was their wedding day and he knew she would always be with him.

fact or fiction
9

About the Creator

Diana Anderson

I am a mom, wife, and writer, sometimes in a different order. Throughout the day I wear many hats. My dream for many years has been to write and share my words with the world. Welcome to the beginning of that dream.

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