My Biggest Mistakes

My biggest mistakes are the reason why I am so good at making better decisions. Mistakes are meant to teach you a lesson so you don't have to make the SAME mistakes over again.

Trusting Too Easily

The first biggest mistake I’ve ever made was trusting people too easily. I make friends super fast because I have never been anti-social, but I trust them too easily. Trust is something you should feel towards people who’ve never let you down, or family per say. Trust should be unbreakable. I’ve trusted people who would backstab me over and over again. I’ve trusted people who have used me for my kindness. I’ve trusted people who would talk behind my back and spread my deepest secrets. I’ve trusted people who cheated on me.

Falling Too Quickly

The second biggest mistake I’ve ever made was falling for people so quickly. I've has so many crushes—I lost track after eight, yikes. I would fall for people so fast that I would become vulnerable, and some of them knew I had a crush on them and would use it to their advantage. I would allow them to walk all over me and treat me less than what I am worth. I even watched some of them flirt with and date my “best friends.” There was this one crush I had, he lived in my building down the hall from me. His mother kicked him out and he came to stay with me and my mother for ONE YEAR. He knew I loved him and that I had a really big crush on him, I’ve known him for 12 years now. But, when he moved in, he would tell me how much he liked me, and would tell me that he wanted to date me but didn't want to ruin our “friendship.” One weekend when I went to my aunt's house and my mom was at work, my “friend” invited a girl to my house and had sex with her in my bed. D-I-S-G-U-S-T-I-N-G. Want to know how I found out? He left the condom in my garbage. There were stains on the bed, and he logged into my iPad and I saw his messages. I then told him that he had to get out of my house, and I told my mother everything.

Being Too Forgiving

The third biggest mistake I’ve ever made was alway being so forgiving. I would forgive someone even if they disrespected me. I would forgive someone if they walked all over me. I would forgive someone for treating me less than what I’m worth. I constantly forgave other people, but I could never forgive myself. I don’t know why I couldn’t self-forgive. It was a struggle for me to do so.

Being Ashamed of My Sexuality

The fourth biggest mistake I’ve ever made was being ashamed of my sexuality. I was ashamed to be myself around people I loved and cared about, hiding who I really was, which was the toughest thing to do. Being on the LGBTQ’s committee is like the biggest sin of all sins in my family. They are so religious to the point of it being suffocating. My moms side of the family is kind of okay with me being bisexual. My biggest regret was born this way. Why? Because we live in a world where being gay, transgender, bisexual, lesbian or gender fluid is WRONG. They make it seem like if we are LGBTQ, we must burn in hell. I wish the world wasn’t like this. But, I will NEVER apologize for being who I am and doing what I love.

I regret making those mistakes, but I don’t regret what it has taught me. Those mistakes made me who I am today. Those mistakes taught me how to be strong. Those mistakes taught me my real worth.