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Love is a bright sadness in the summer

Love is a bright sorrow in the summer

By Hickman WilliamPublished 5 months ago 11 min read
Love is a bright sadness in the summer
Photo by Azrul Aziz on Unsplash

I really can not understand! It's like bitter fruit waiting to ripen, the anxiety of that wait will make people sit up and take notice! When I met him, which is always full of the taste of longing. The flower-like season, naïve, unaware that I ushered in my Prince Charming. However, I was timid about falling in love but like a mouse seeing a cat, coy and afraid to move forward! I did not know that the power of love is so irresistible that I was finally conquered! We soon came together, everything is like a dream, happy people forget loneliness, their heart is full of each other! That year we were in our first year of high school, and he was in the next class. Some people say that happiness is the main theme of love, and sadness is its accessory! At first, I did not understand, until that summer, I tasted the taste of love, and found that it is so sad! Although the phone porridge makes us less pining for each other, the body is still full of the taste of grief. I was looking forward to the start of school, looking forward to meeting him, but who would have expected that the test did not stop with the arrival of the new semester? That year, our sophomore year, but the day we parted, the heart even though there is a million reluctance, but also only ...... to have a better learning environment, he went to another better high school in the family arrangements! I don't want to do anything, just very lost. Not just because he left, but because of the slippage in grades we were assigned to a regular class to study! The difference was that he left and I chose to stay! I once blamed it on early love and was always torn and conflicted! Because I have always been very strong, not like sharp, but afraid of being hurt! But I did not give up love, I was unable to put down ah! I vaguely remember your gentle look in the tall tower, those soft eyes full of sincerity! Your vows of love moved me, I love you, oh I feel so happy! But my timidity and low self-esteem made me miss the opportunity to say I love you, but I know I do, and love you more than you do! Maybe you don't know, since we came back, I never went inside because I was afraid it was just a dream! Oh so silly!

Tagore said the farthest distance in the world is not me standing in front of you, but me standing in front of you and you don't know I love you! The distance eventually affected our sweet love. The days of separation, his shadow in my mind every day, longing to see him, but afraid to go to him! Every week we write letters to tell the pain of longing, and whenever we receive a letter from him, the mood is so excited! Perhaps I have long been used to pretending, perhaps too sensible, perhaps too indifferent, in any case, my reply is never some words of encouragement. I sometimes wonder if I'm an old woman, so nagging! The days of correspondence were very uneventful, or rather we were always very uneventful, because we never quarreled, perhaps because we did not spend much time together! It's so hard to meet, how can we go to quarrel? I like quiet love, no need to be shocking, as long as they know each other!

The fact is that you will be able to find the best way to get the most out of your own home. Sometimes just a glance at him will soon slip away. At that time, although we have long established a romantic relationship, deep inside is always very uneasy, although the surface is full of care the heart cares about the dead! Oh is always childish, as a first-time lover! After the passion is always calm, study more and more nervous, we contact less and less! Slowly I am no longer green, I dare to go to school to find him! Of course, sometimes he will also visit me! And so we went quietly for a year. I remember the day of my birthday, I spent it at home because it was also my grandmother's birthday. I was in a hurry to get to school in the afternoon, but God seemed to be against me, the car broke down! It was after 7:00 p.m. when we got to school, and we missed it after all! How annoying! I received a gift from him, a pendant with a phoenix engraved on it, but of course, his own was a dragon. I wrote a note to me, looking at these, the heart has in want to cry touching! Oh, the taste of happiness. Soon Sunday arrived, I could not wait to go to him, because I also have something to give him. It was a yellow watch because I also wanted to hold him firmly in my lap! However misfortune always comes with happiness, and misunderstandings often arise silently.

The summer of my sophomore year was a bit hot and full of irritation everywhere. I always wish to study in the same class as him. So to study better and spend more time together, we enrolled in the same summer class. The intimacy allows us to get to know each other better, at least I think so. But ...... feelings are not clear in a few words, I can't stand him being a bit indifferent to me, so I also deliberately ignore him. It also happens that a very good male friend came to play with me because at that time was the cold war, misunderstanding also started from this, and an uncontrollable. I did not bother to explain, and he did not ask me! Then there is the torture between each other, I remember one night I was sad and crying, really heartbroken, he came, has been coaxing me, Tianna! I broke into tears and smiled!

However, the nightmare did not stop there. The nightmare didn't stop there. There was no quieter between us in the past, replaced by tantrums and quarrels. I remember most clearly the time I went to the Internet cafe to look for him, to advise him not to indulge in games, but in return was his disdain! I was so angry that I ran away, crying while I ran, and I was so aggrieved! I was so angry that I ran away and cried. I don't know how many times I cursed in my heart, I swore I'd never talk to him again, how could you be mean to me? And in front of a large crowd! The long summer of studying was finally over, and we were still sulking! It wasn't my fault, so of course, I didn't apologize, and in a fit of rage, I sent a breakup letter to his email address. But just after I sent it, I regretted it because it was a ridiculous approach! But it's hard to put away, I know I hurt him, it was stupid! I didn't know what to expect when I saw you again, but I had to play it cool, we didn't say anything, but I... I don't know why I felt so bad! I wanted to explain, but I didn't know where to start, so I just let it go! Feelings are complicated and strange things, helpless. But since then I don't seem to feel his gentleness, maybe it's a woman's intuition! I am a very sensitive person, since childhood, but my parents are not around to let me learn how to better protect themselves, that is, disguise. I don't feel his concern I buried my love deep in my heart, pretending not to care, so at least I won't be too hurt, but this makes me suffer more, it's ridiculous!

The life of the senior year is very intense, our contact is less, and feelings seem to slowly fade away! Until the Christmas day party, I want him to come and spend time with me, to be honest, I would like us to be together every day. Waiting for a long time, the party is about to start he has not come, I was very disappointed! Finally, he came, not only one person, but also her, although I said I did not care, but my heart was sour. The bad thing was that I acted in the play, the role was bad, and what's worse is that I was not there when he sang! I regretted it for a long time and kept blaming my best friend and best friend. Everyone says Christmas is Valentine's Day in disguise, but he was ready to leave as soon as the party was over! He asked me to go for a walk with him, which I didn't intend to do because I had to go to class the next day, but I ended up going with him because I didn't want him to be with another girl. Our relationship seemed to have eased up again, but it didn't last long! Maybe I couldn't grasp the degree of friendship! In the eyes of my classmates, I had a somewhat ambiguous relationship with a guy in the same class, but I knew I had been treating him like a brother. The three of us agreed to be good friends all the time, lifelong friends. This he did not have a great reaction, I naturally do not feel anything, the heart has always believed that the body is not afraid of the shadow slant. However, this is a great mistake, for some reason he loves the Internet more and more, to the end can be said to be addicted to it! I tried to persuade him but to no avail. I also do not like to see his decadent appearance, and because of the upcoming college entrance exams, so rarely go to him. But I've been watching him, and once I went out with my best friend to buy something, I knew he was at a nearby Internet cafe! I couldn't wait to go, but I saw them together, and he looked at me with a look of disregard. My heart went cold, and not wanting to face such an awkward situation, I dragged him to go shopping for clothes with me! The walk was boring, the weather was hot, and I didn't intend to buy clothes, I was just angry! Damn, he did not feel, then I do not blame me, this meeting ultimately not happy to disperse. Then came the so-called cold war, oh I hate this! The day before the entrance exam, I couldn't resist looking for him to come out and say it clearly, but his friend also came and finally didn't say ...... not don't want to say, just couldn't say, I quite minded her existence! o(crumble) o ugh! Finally, nothing to say. The fact is that you will be able to get a lot more than just a few of these. Now think about it is also quite chagrined, they are very incompetent ah! You can't defend your love. The time passes quickly, and the mood always likes to travel, so at least not too sad!

The summer vacation in Xi'an to see a lot of monuments, a very vicissitude the feeling, and time is spent wanderings a little. The college entrance exams also failed, I would like to go back to him, but ...... I chose to repeat, I hope to be with him, together, but he does not seem to have that will and to be honest, I do not want to come back for another year. But again, I was upset so I stayed, and he ended up staying, and unfortunately, we didn't get together. But I still found a place to stay near his school, I want to pay attention to him, maybe we will meet. I thought it was broken because we didn't look for anyone during the repetition, but by chance, we met and got back together! We all still have each other in our hearts, and this time I am completely and utterly to love him, love others turned out to be very happy!

The sweet days are always so easy to pass, unknowingly ushered in another college entrance examination, I do not feel! The exams were a mess, and I thought, if it's bad, it's bad, maybe I can still go to school with him! What a childish idea, we just happened to be together, so happy! Later, because of what, I do not know, somehow we still broke up. That day the hailstorm, I was so sad, tears can not stop flowing. The feeling of heartache is heartbreaking, so painful! I wanted to ask the reason, but he did not have a word of explanation, so I could not stand it. I couldn't accept the betrayal for no reason, I went to him hoping he would explain, but no! It was a loss, really, until now. But still quite thankful for the first love, although there are too much parting and sadness, it does not matter anymore, the key is that you have a good life! I will not fall again, I do not have the capital, nor the need, the heart is tired!

I will always remember you, my first love!


About the Creator

Hickman William

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