Love, Blonde

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Fontenac Bay,

the most beautiful place in the whole wide world...

The narrow old streets painted in colors of roses,

blue and white and red... lots of red.

Walking amongst them brings up old memories. I remember my Mercedes, my cat, and my red Mouawad purse. All those pretty things...

I remember him and what used to be our life .

Everything is different now.

I left the concrete city skeletons, amongst which I used to reside, behind.

Here, the shore is golden. The forests are lush and green, and the sky is always painted blue.

It's been one hundred days since I arrived here, but it feels like I've been here forever.

I rented an old apartment on the beach, only steps away from the sea. The louder the sea, the less I can hear my thoughts.

I walk around barefoot. I am free. I am mine.

I spend my days in silence. Sometimes it's okay to let the birds do all the talking. Silence heals a broken heart better than talking about it does. Hard to believe? Then try it. Try staying silent with your pain. Let pain do all the talking. Or write... write a letter. In silence. That might help.

Life in Frontenac Bay is slow... Slow and delicious.

It's romantic. It carries inside it the promise of love.

It smells of pine sap and innocence. But it also smells of chocolate and temptation.

I wish I grew up here. Then maybe my life would've turned out different than it did. Or maybe not. Maybe there's no way a girl can escape her destiny, no matter where she comes from or how far she runs. Who knows...

There's a little black book resting in my lap. My confidant. It weighs heavy under all the ink I spilled on its pages... All the untold secrets, adventures, fallen tears, moments of love, photos, tickets, details, and names... I went back and forth on what to do with it. At first I thought I'll just let you have it. But that's not enough for me. I want to ruin him.

You get this letter, the press gets my diary, and he gets his life torn to pieces.

I tried to resist the urge to reach out to you, but I can't.

I need you to know. I want him to lose everything he holds dear.

Or maybe I want to save you. Open your eyes, and make you see. Maybe I just want you to realize that you've been living a lie and force you to leave while you still can... find something better. You deserve it. You've also been a victim of his selfishness. Or were you an accomplice?

I want you to know, that your lives will come crashing down. Once the press releases all the information I collected in my diary, there will be no way back. His life will be over, and if you don't leave before that, yours will be too.

You know who I am. We met when you came to visit him at work. Quite the empire you two built. You noticed me, and I noticed you. But you didn't seem concerned. Were you just blindly in love, or was he so good at disguising his secrets? Or maybe you knew but decided not to do anything about it. You probably thought it was just a fling. That it will pass, right? Maybe you just didn't care.

You were wearing a tight dress, your blonde hair falling across your shoulders, just like mine. Perfect skin, no makeup. You smiled at me. Confident, intelligent, intimidating. He obviously has a type, but what I never understood, was why he would go and fool around with women that look just like you. Why did he decide to turn my life upside down, if he has someone that looks like me, waiting for him at home? He told me, that the two of you married young, and that it was a strategic move. "Good for business..." he said.

Why would a girl like you marry a guy like him?

Money? Love? Influence? I wish I knew what it was. Maybe he swept you off your feet, just like he did me.

You two seemed perfect on the outside. Only, you never kissed. And with you, he was quiet. With me, he was different. Loud, attractive, cocky, dominant. He once told me that he hated how you make him feel small and unimportant... how you make him feel stupid. How he dreams of ending your life, just to be free again. It wasn't hard to make him feel good. All I had to do was pretend to be small and obedient. And he would give me everything I wanted... He would leave you and marry me. Only, he never did.

I met him when I started working at your company. Three years ago. He made his first move the first second we laid our eyes on each other. Five days later, I was in his bed. In your bed.

He told me about you, but I already knew all about it from the news and magazines. If your life wasn't so public, then I believe, he would have kept you a secret. I knew all about your charity work and all about your passions. I admired you for the woman you were. Maybe I secretly wanted to be you.

When you were away, he would bring me to your house. Frequently. I wonder what kept you away from home so often... Maybe you also had a secret... just like he did.

At first, our affair was just that - an affair. But it didn't take long for it to start growing into something more, something different. I was blind. Craving his love robbed me of my rationality and my reasoning powers. He spoiled me. He bought me the most expensive gifts, took me to the most luxurious restaurants and he always made sure I had everything I needed to look and feel the best. Everything seemed perfect for a while.

Then after some time, I slowly started realizing, that we are never going to become anything more. It became clear that he was never actually planning on leaving you and that our relationship was nothing but a business transaction. So I started playing it smart.

It's not hard to make a man talk. Men are emotional beings. I exchanged sex for luxuries and attention for information. He told me everything about the business and every single one of his illegal activities. It didn't take long before he started introducing me to his influential friends. Politicians and such. It's all written and documented in my little black book. The names, the receipts, locations, numbers, and photos. Everything one needs to know to ruin someone's life. I was smarter than he thought.

When he held a knife on my throat for the first time, warning me about what would happen to me if I ever reached out to you, I realized the games were over. I knew at that moment, that what I know about him, will be the only thing that can save me. I knew what we had would come to an end, and before that happened I wanted to collect all the information I could.

After that first incident, he started becoming aggressive and impatient on a regular basis. Two days before I fled to Fontenac Bay, he lost it. He told me that he needs me to leave and that what we had was over. He said that someone had taken some photos of us and that he can't afford to lose you and his life because of some "stupid w****". He said that what we had was nothing but sex. That I am worth nothing.

He was wrong. I was worth millions. All the information I had, would make me into a rich, rich woman.

He reached into his pocket and threw a stack of money at me. 20.000 dollars. "That's for your services. Now get the f*** out of the country and make sure I never see you again. You know what happens to rats!" he yelled. I knew, yes. Whenever somebody was in his way, he got rid of them in the most brutal manner possible.

He wanted me to leave the country.

I knew that day would come. Still, I cried and begged. Begged him to stay. To leave you. To run away with me. So he held me by my throat until I passed out. If it wasn't for the pretentious obedience that I displayed throughout our whole relationship, he would've killed me right there and then. Maybe he thought he did.

I regained my consciousness after he was already gone. I got on my feet, wiped my tears, and collected the money. And then I left.

This is my story. And now you know.

After you receive this letter, you have to take what you can and run as far as you can. Start a new life. It's not going to take long before the press releases the news. He will spend his life in prison, and you... well, you have to decide where you will spend yours.

I believe there were many more like me. Girls, that he played and used. Some vanished, some ran. Some might still be by his side, waiting patiently for him to give them what he promised. A ring. A house. A home. But that's all yours. It always was.

I wish I could help them all. I wish they could all see, that a pitiful bastard like him is not worth their time. But I guess we all have some lessons to learn in this life.

Now, run.

Yours truly,

The Blonde.

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I wrapped my little black diary in brown paper, packed it into a small cardboard box, and sent it away the same day. I waited another day to send her the letter, just to make sure the press would get the information before she knows everything.

I knew, that after he found out what I did, he would somehow find a way to come after me. He would send his people to come and torture me and then kill me. Or he would wait to get out of prison and then take his revenge.

But I am ready. I arranged everything, so there will be people here waiting to put an end to his selfish life once and for all. And I will be far far away.

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