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Life Shopping

by Jayson Rich 5 years ago in literature
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Girl & Guy Story

"You're not trying to sneak something in there again are you???" The girl says, glancing over her shoulder, while reaching for a product on the top shelf to glimpse Guy again trying to slip something into the cart without her noticing.

Guy sighs openly and dramatically, while taking an exaggerated step back from the cart.

"You know I would never do that," he says, giving his best grin now with hands behind his back, concealing the mystery item.

He waits for her to turn completely back around until Guy shoves it back onto the shelf quickly.

"That's not where it goes," Girl almost sings tauntingly as she struts away, leaving Guy scratching his head, wondering how she saw any of that, before he steps off in a hurry after her.

Hands in his pockets, Guy sulkily follows behind Girl, watching her stop, read, and pick up something then read some more, all the while thumping her foot in an unusual rhythm. Only to put whatever item it was down to stop again, read again, pick something up again, read some more. Repeating the process again and again and again. It's not long before Guy has an outburst.

He unobtrusively yells, "It's been hours!!! How can you not be done yet???"

The girl holds up a solo finger, uninterrupted in reading the latest package in her hand, until Guy takes advantage of the distraction and bites her finger scornfully.

"OW!!! Stop being an animal..." She checks her watch, "It's only been 3 minutes, by the way," Girl responds with a smile, as she wipes her hand on Guy, who's checking his watch intently in utter disbelief.

"How have you not lost your mind woman???" Guy repeats, grabbing Girl's sides and shaking her.

"You are ridiculous," She laughs and shrugs him off continuing, "and I don't know, this is fun don't ya think???"

Guy squints at her, "Or has your mind already been tainted and that's why you're making that nonsense beat???" he says in accusation.

"No, silly, I just like shopping, and you really don't recognize this?" Girl raises an eyebrow asking.

She stops walking and with a new smirk. Girl cocks her head to the side, inquisitively, and taps it out with her foot again, slowly this time for Guy to hear. He cocks his head to the side, too, trying to focus furrowing his brow. Just before he can even attempt to name it, she can't help but laugh and hug him.

"You know I love when you do that, like my own little-confused puppy. Why don't you tell me another story, so you don't get bored???"

Guy loses the thought on the tip of his tongue and answers, "I'm not exactly a professional storyteller love. I don't exactly have a pocket full of them at all times beautiful."

To prove his point, he turns his pockets inside out, revealing only some lint and his ‘lucky' coin. Girl chuckles and walks on to continue shopping, tapping out the beat again. She doesn't get far before Guy reaches another point that he can't help but act out and as he's searching for a way to make a scene, Girl sees and stops in her tracks.

"Don't even think about it," she says glaring.

"I am an angel for you my dear," Guy says putting his hands together, mimicking a prayer.

"Fine," Girl sighs in defeat, "You can pick something –"

Guy cuts her off in excitement, "Anything!?!"

"ANYTHING," Girl says in exaggeration, "You can pick ONE anything and I won't say no. I'll even eat it WITH you if you calm down until we're done here," she finishes.

"It's a shame that no store sells what I want."

Girl smirks, "I'll bite. Why's that???"

Guy looking away, abstractedly answers, "Because no amount of money could ever be enough for it."

She shoves him playfully, "Just spit it out already"

The guy grabs her arm and pulls her in, "A lifetime with you." Kissing her forehead, he whispers, "But since they don't have that, I think I'm going to go grab my anything." Then he rushes off, out of sight.

When he returns, Girl is shocked to see what Guy is carrying, nodding her head with her face in hand.

She says, "You don't even eat those."

Guy stomps his foot, retorting with, "You don't know what I eat...I bet you don't even know what you eat." He begins mockingly poking Girl in the back with the box tauntingly until she turns around and asks,

"What do you mean???" The girl says, slightly curious, not wanting to let him get his full desired response.

The guy starts by looking into the cart, "Did you know, that your jello has gelatin, which comes from a protein in animal skin??? Or the reason jelly beans and some candies are so shiny???"

The girl looks back in the cart with clear regret, "First off, yuck, and if you tell me it's shiny because of animal skin, we're going vegan."

Guy laughs now as he walks past her, patting Girls head "No, that'd be just silly darling. It's shiny because of the excrement from bugs…and, yes, I mean poop."

She takes the candy out immediately, while pinching her nose "I've always been weirded out by how unnatural they looked."

Guy beams at hearing this and looks back into the cart, saying, "You're telling me those natural-looking nuggets are actually just natural chicken meat??"

Girl feigns a gag, "Please don't ruin nugget night, you know I need that."

He frowns, "I do too…guess I shouldn't tell you nuggets are actually the result of little puddles of any spare meats being smashed together and liquefied into something factory workers call meat slurry."

Girl slaps Guy's arm, "WHY would you say that!?! Well, then I'm getting a cake."

Guy's face lights up, "What about cupcakes??? What about vanilla???"

Girl slyly answers, "Well, I heard that in some baked sweets, ones with vanilla flavoring actually…" she checks her phone while Guy is searching through the cupcake selection on the shelf.

"You heard that they were the absolute best," he finishes for Girl without looking away.

"Yes, because those baked goods have Castoreum…which comes from the anal glands of beavers." She says sticking out her tongue.

Guy stops dead in his tracks and wheels around on the heel of his foot to confront her.

"Where did you hear that??? Who said that??? Was it the same place I learned about the beetle eggs found in frozen asparagus???" He says rapid-fire style.

Girl shoots back, "They do not!!! You did not hear that!!! That is not true!!! Asparagus is good for you, so stop talking bad about it."

She shakes the frozen bag of green and throws it back in the cart trying to storm off dramatically to make a scene.

But before Girl can even take three steps, Guy burst out with, "So are strawberries, but to make them look redder they use a special dye made from beetles."

Girl scoffs, "Now I know you're making this up, because the beetles are getting old."

"I mean I don't know how EVERYTHING is made…I only know that human hair and duck feathers have some chemicals in common like uhh L-cysteine that's like an acid, but it's also used to help the bread baking process. So you do the math." He watches her waiting for it to click in her head.

He continues, "And that rennet or remmey is the chemical that helps baby cows digest their mother's raw milk. So people cut open the baby cow's stomach and, soaking it in whey, or maybe it was wheat, with vinegar, and wine. Then later they filter it out later to make...guess."

The girl looks at him with a flat face, "I don't want to know."

Guy goes on cheerfully to say, "You guessed it, cheese!!!"

The girl stops, "Ok. That's it. We're done."

Guy stares back blankly, not understanding or sure how to respond. "With the shopping, you goof, come on, let's go check outta here." She smiles and leads him to the registers.

"I guess it wasn't too boring. I had a little fun" He says, trying to sound nonchalant before asking, "Is this how shopping always is??? Is this why you enjoy it???"

The girl stops and thinks about it before replying. "No it isn't usually that fun, and that's not why I enjoy it, to be honest. It's kinda the thing I get to do and control and have me time, which is why I like it. Just like how I like to imagine how much we're going to enjoy each meal together; whether you cook or I cook, it doesn't matter. My favorite part, though, is I get to go down each and every aisle and it's not just the foods and products that I'm browsing through, but also memories of times we've spent together over each one. It sounds funny to say out loud, but it's like walking through a section or store of our life together every time, and there's always something new. Ya know???"

He freezes, reaching into the cart for things to place on the conveyer belt, blown away by Girl's response. As she continues to move things from the buggy to the belt, he blinks a few times, letting it sink in.

Guy finally says, "A bit odd, maybe, but wow. That's…I don't know. Amazing. I love you. Now that I know that, I'll let you do this without distraction and do something else."

She pauses now as he returns to reality and Guy empties the last few items out of the cart onto the belt. Girl thinks a bit more, biting her lips with concentration, as she forms the words.

Finally, she jumps into an explanation with, "No, no, no. You misunderstand. You are magical to me. I know I'm not good with words, but like so magical that you make sense. My own cosmic coincidence."

Girl continues, nodding her head searching, reaching for a sign back that he understands, not just what she's saying, but how she feels. On the other side of the spectrum, Guy is mesmerized, and as she talked, not only did he listen, but he let himself become engulfed in her voice. Nothing else mattered to him and, as a result, it wasn't long before she was all he heard, rattling and vibrating through him, feeling the emotion she was expressing, and he loved it.

The girl carries on, "I would never WANT to do something without you. Just when I do them without you, I still spend the time doing it, thinking about you. I mean together, simple, mundane, and boring things with you become the most exciting dreamlike things in the universe. You manage to make me feel, not just like my heart is working, but that it's calling your name with every beat. That I'm not just breathing but that I'm alive with the purpose of you. The heavens themselves can't even be this incredible, as just being here, right now, paying for groceries, with you." They both smile into each other's eyes, holding hands.

Suddenly a third voice cuts in.

The cashier slices through their atmosphere saying, "Speaking of which…," while gesturing towards the register reflecting the price.

"Also, I have ALWAYS wanted to say this. Ahem. Ahem. Get a room you two."

Girl and Guy hunch over in laughter, thank the cashier, pay, and start walking towards the car. Halfway through the parking lot, Guy stops, grabbing her arm.

"So is that beat thingy one you made up for when you're thinking of me???" he probes about it again.

The girl, still smiling from the register incident, rolls into a full giggle, then taps it out with her foot, shifting to imitate a thinker's pose.

"Hmmm, I guess you could say that, but you should really pay more attention," she chuckles, placing his hand over the middle of his chest slightly towards the left of the breastbone.

The guy opens his mouth to say something about how she is getting better at avoiding answering questions when the sound stops in his throat. His mouth closes, as he doesn't hear, but instead feels the beat…


About the author

Jayson Rich

People have always loved to read what I write, and I've always loved to write what people want to read. From research to romance...

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