It's All in Your Head

Gia stared at the cylinder in her hand. "Do you need help picking out a shade?" The make-up associate startled her.

"No. Thank you, though." She hurried away like she was about to get caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Did you take it?" Sophia asked.

"No. An employee asked if I needed help and I panicked." Gia sipped her lemonade slowly to avoid the conversation.

“You’re such a wuss,” Sophia said as she chuckled. Her red hair fell in pretty, little ringlets on her shoulders. Gia was jealous of every aspect of Sophia. Her gorgeous red hair. Her bravery. Her awesome girlfriend. Sophia had been her best friend since she could remember. And Gia had always been jealous. Why was she even friends with her, one might wonder? Because Sophia was one of those girls who you wanted on your side. She could be downright evil sometimes.

“When are you gonna grow a pair?” she said with that dumb, adorable sideways smirk. She poked Gia’s cheek with a perfectly manicured black nail.

“Why are you so obsessed with stealing stuff?” Gia asked as she stuffed a cheesy mall pretzel in her mouth.

“It’s called kleptomania.”

“Yeah, but why do you want me to do it too?”

“How else are you gonna survive the zombie apocalypse if you can’t even steal a measly tube of lipstick from Ulta? How are you gonna scavenge for survival?!” Sophia laughed and threw a fry at Gia. She screamed with glee as Gia sprayed her with lemonade like a baby elephant.

“Zombie apocalypse,” Gia scoffed. “Ugh. Paul Blart is checking you out again.”

“I got this,” Sophia said. “Hey! Rent-a-doof! Take a picture, it’ll last longer!” The mall security guard looked down at his feet. Embarrassed, he shuffled off.

“Can we go? That guy gives me the creeps,” Gia stood up and grabbed her coat.

“Yeah. Let’s go home,” Sophia replied. “I need to water my plants, anyway.”

When they got home, Sophia plopped on the couch. She reached for an old copy of Cosmopolitan and began mindlessly shuffling through the pages.

“So why does that mall cop always stare at you?” Gia inquired.

“It’s because I know stuff,” Sophia replied without looking up from her magazine. She found an article about “Five Lip Exercises that are PROVEN to up your Make-Out Game.”

“Know stuff? Like what?”

“Like that he cheated on his wife. He banged the cell-phone kiosk lady.”

Gia’s mouth dropped open. “Wait, what? That’s a serious accusation.”

Now Sophia looked up. “Yes. I am dead serious.”

“How would you even know that?”

“You wouldn’t understand,” Sophia tried to brush it off and go back to her reading.

“I wouldn’t understand? I've never known you to pass up a chance to gossip. Sophie,” Gia started. She was on her knees in front of the couch now with her hands rested reassuringly on her friend’s thighs. “Sophie, we’ve literally known each other all our lives. If anyone would understand you, it’s me."

Sophia rolled her eyes, but she knew she couldn’t keep it a secret much longer.

“Okay. Gia, I’m going to tell you something,” she started. “But you have to promise to keep it to yourself.”

“…Okay. What is it?”

“Say you promise!” Sophia threw a pillow at her.

“Okay, okay! I promise to keep it a secret,” Gia giggled, and metaphorically locked her lips and threw away the key.

Sophia’s eyes seemed to darken. She leaned forward and stared intently at Gia for what seemed an uncomfortably long amount of time.

“I’m a witch,” she finally said. She leaned back to her original position, as if she hadn’t just told her best friend some unbelievably weird fact about herself. Gia sat in the desk chair with a stupefied look about her. She was stunned. Was Sophia losing her mind? Was there finally something not-so-perfect about her?

“Are you gonna say something? Or just sit there looking like a fish with your mouth popped like that?” Sophia mimicked Gia’s expression, adding crossed eyes. Gia shook the look off her face.

“Sorry…You think you’re a witch?” Gia asked with concern in her voice.

“I don’t think I’m a witch. I am a witch,” Sophia replied.

“Like, ‘riding on a broom and casting spells’ witch?”

“No! It’s not all green skin and warts like in the cartoons, you racist!” Sophia said with a hint of offense in her reply.

“Racist?!”

“I don’t know. I don’t think it’s a ‘race’ thing. I'm not sure what the equivalent is. Sorry for getting offended.”

“I’m sorry for…offending you,” Gia said with a raise in pitch toward the end. She was sincere in her apology, but also confused.

“I knew you wouldn’t believe me,” said Sophia, sounding softer now. “I’m always joking around and poking fun at people. But this is real.”

“How long have you known this about yourself?”

“Remember over the summer when I went on vacation with my mom?”

“Yeah. It was the very first summer we spent without each other,” Gia said feeling a heavy, anxious tightening in the pit of her stomach.

“We spent the entire summer in a cabin in the middle of the woods. She was teaching me how to channel all of this energy into something more productive.”

“Why did she wait until you were 23 to let you know something like this about yourself?”

“Think about it, Gia. If I found out I was a hereditary witch at a younger age, don’t you think I’d be in a LOT of trouble?” Gia didn’t have to think about this question for very long. Sophia had the tendency to go off the rails if someone offended her or someone close to her. If she knew the extent of her power, how many people would she have hurt?

“So, your mom waited until you were mature enough to…handle the news.”

“Yep,” Sophia tried to get back to her article.

“Wait, that doesn’t explain the mall cop,” Gia reminded her.

“I saw it on him,” Sophia said without looking up.

“Like a vision?”

“Sort of, yeah. Remember when I got busted stealing that scarf?”

Gia nodded.

“While Deputy Dipshit had me detained in that little mall jail, I decided to practice ‘reading.’ That’s when you look at someone and ‘read’ their thoughts, fears, hopes, dreams, yada yada. Anyway, I get him to talk to me and I look deep into his eyes. The eyes are literally the window to the soul, Gia. And I could read this bastard like a book. He screwed the kiosk lady in the mall’s office...On the anniversary of his wedding.” Sophia’s eyes began to darken again.

“Oh, no! Poor Mrs. Mall Cop!”

“I told him he was going to give me the scarf and pretend that he didn’t catch me stealing shit.”

“That’s…intense. Do you know if he’s done it again?”

“No. I’m pretty sure it was just the one time. But it’s eaten him up for so long. That’s why he always looks like a kicked puppy. He feels guilty, but he hasn’t even told his wife.”

“That’s so fucked up.” A couple minutes of silence passed by and then Gia couldn’t resist. “What else can you do?”

“Gia, I’m not a magician. I don’t do children’s parties.”

“Sorry…” Gia tried to focus on something else, but her best friend did just confess to being a witch and outed a fat man on his infidelity in one conversation. An honest-to-Goddess witch. Something they had always pretended to be when they were kids but knew was never real.

“And now you’re about to ask more questions,” Sophia said, again without looking up.

“How did you know?!”

“Lucky guess,” Sophia smiled at her pompously.

“Does CeCe know?”

“Nooo way. That girl cannot keep her mouth shut. You’re the only one I’ve told.”

This made Gia swell up with pride. Ever since the glorious CeCe came around, Sophia told her everything before Gia. She understood the dynamics of a romantic relationship, but they finally had a secret to themselves again.

“I won’t tell anyone.”

“I know. I’ll fucking curse you if you do,” Sophia raised a dark red eyebrow and looked at Gia.

“R-really?” Gia stammered. Sophia burst into laughter. It was contagious. Gia started laughing too. They giggled and snorted until tears filled their eyes.

“Yes,” Sophia said with a stone cold, serious manner. She went back to her reading.