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Interrogation with the Ego

A short story

By Kristopher Michael CafaldoPublished 4 years ago 4 min read
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Interrogation with the Ego

Carl has met a girl who he fancies. It will be the first time he goes out on a serious date. He dresses up nicely in a suit. He is to go to a restaurant and then go dancing. As Carl is looking in the mirror, two beings appear on his shoulders. The one on his left is SiD, on the right, Siggy.

“Ooohh, you’re finally going to get some tonight, huh?” SiD says with a devilish grin.

“Oh stop that SiD! Don’t taint the lad’s mind.” Siggy retorts.

“Well, what’s she like? Does she have a fat ass or what?” SiD asks.”

“That will be enough of that.” Carl interjects. Leaving his room, he gets into his car to go pick up Emma, his date.

While driving, Carl imagines himself dancing with Emma. He can feel the warmth of her body, her breath against his neck. He imagines twirling her around elegantly and leaning in close to her. After staring into her eyes, Carl imagines himself kissing Emma while squeezing her behind.

“Naughty naughty!” Siggy exclaims, appearing on the dashboard alongside SiD.

“Aw man, he was just getting to the good part!” SiD said.

Regaining his composure, Carl says, “I-I don’t know what came over me. It’s not like me to think that way, it’s just, she’s so beautiful and I’ve never met anyone like her.”

Carl realizes he’s trying to explain himself to beings that are not actually there.

“What in the world has gotten into me?”

Approaching Emma’s house, Carl takes a deep breath. “It’s okay, just be yourself. Don’t think about those unclean thoughts, just be you.” He exits the car while SiD and Siggy remain on the dashboard.

“You’re going to corrupt that poor boy, what would his parents think if they knew he had such thoughts?”

SiD rolls his eyes. “Man, quit being so typical. Let him have some fun.”

“Is that your idea of fun?”

“You bet your twinkly little ass it is!”

Carl and Emma arrive at the restaurant. The nervousness that he felt vanished completely. Emma makes him feel like a real man. She is interested in everything he does. Carl had completely forgotten the “unclean” thoughts from earlier. Dinner goes off without any intervention from SiD or Siggy. Carl suspects that it will not remain that way, and right he is! With dinner finished, now comes dancing. There is a ballroom nearby the restaurant. Carl and Emma walk there, talking and laughing the whole time.

Carl senses the majesty as he walks into the room with this beautiful woman at his side. “This is it,” Carl thinks to himself. “This is the moment I’ve been waiting for.” The music plays to a slow serenade, perfect for couples to get close and enjoy each other. Carl feels his heart beating. He and Emma are in total sync with the music. The two come close and place their heads on each other’s shoulders. “You’re heavenly,” Carl whispers into Emma’s ear. She pulls back and looks him in the eyes.

“Now’s your chance! Do it! Kiss her!” SiD screams into Carl’s ear. Time seems to slow down. Siggy appears as well.

“No! You can’t kiss her yet! It’s only your first date! Where’s your sense of appreciation?” Siggy urges. Carl freezes. “What do I do?”

“Kiss her! Bring her in close and squeeze that fine booty of hers!”

“Have you no shame? No decency? Your father raised you to be a respectable man!”

“Oh cut it with that crap! Do what feels right Carl!”

“Yes Carl, do what you know is right, and it’s not what that pervert SiD says!”

“Who are you calling a pervert?! I’m the one who makes him feel attraction in the first place! If it were up to you, he’d have to wait until he was married just so he could do her missionary position exclusively!”

“Is there a problem with that? Sex is meant to reproduce. It’s sinful to have it for any other reason!”

“God, you’re such a pansy”

“Alright! That. Is. Enough!” Carl yells, making everyone in the ballroom look over at him. Realizing his mistake, he quickly excuses himself to the restroom. He washes his face in the sink over and over. “Why do these thoughts provoke me so? Why do they cause me to be someone I’m not? Am I going crazy?” Carl returns from the bathroom to find Emma patiently waiting.

“Is everything alright Carl?”

“Y-Ye-Yes, quite alright. I apologize for my outbur-”

Before finishing the sentence, Emma kisses Carl.

“Quite alright indeed.” Emma smiles and the two continue to dance--uninterrupted.

“You see Siggy, look how happy he is now.”

“Yes, no thanks to you and your dirty mind SiD.”

The heart knows what it wants, all it has to do is make it through the voices of the ego.

fact or fiction
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About the Creator

Kristopher Michael Cafaldo

A writer interested in all things human. From psychology to poetry, anything that makes you think hard and feel even harder.

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