I Do Not Want To Be a Writer

I do not want to be a writer.

Everyone on Vocal wants to be a writer to some degree. It is why we’re all here. We all share that unscratchable itch to put words to paper. We want our thoughts, our feelings, our ideas, conveyed to the world, and the only way we know how is through writing. We so desperately want to be understood, to entertain, to create. It is the eternal struggle that connects us all. We want to share our crafted worlds and experiences with someone, anyone who may resonate with it. I do not want to be a writer, however being a writer is not something you choose. It is something within you, or something that happens upon you. One day a compulsion arises in you to write, and you obey. There are many types of writers in this world: the novelist, the blogger, the poet, etc. I do not want to be a writer, but if I am resigned to my fate of being such, I want to be the Neil Gaiman of writers.

I want my writing to take on a life of its own, and far outlive me. I want my words to find homes between book covers and in the hearts of readers. I want my stories illustrated marvelously in comic form. I want the tales I weave to inspire movie scripts. Hell, I want to write movie scripts! I want to write for television, and animation too! I want a writing career that is as expansive as Gaiman’s. I want to be so prolific that someday some aspiring writer will write a piece about wanting a career like mine.

The first step to that lofty goal is to actually write. Until recently I thought my writing was something not worth much attention. You see, I have known I was a writer for quite some time. My first inkling was in youth when I found myself captivated by novels. I immersed myself nearly everything I read. That is how it begins for so many of us. We discover ourselves in the works of others and unknowingly begin to craft our own. Sometimes we place ourselves among the already scripted world and create our narrative from there. Other times we craft worlds that are wholly new, though not without inspiration from those we’ve read. At the time I thought it a simple interest in storytelling, and nothing more.

It wasn’t until my first year of college that fully understood, and embraced my passions as a writer. Having lost the collegiate battle with social anxiety I turned to the internet for social interaction. It was there I found others like myself: those who conjured characters and built worlds from their imagination, those who answered compulsion’s call to scribe their deepest thoughts, those who used the written word to enchantingly describe the range of their emotions. There was one grand difference between these people and myself however; they actually wrote. I had always felt the desire to write, but had greatly ignored the urge. When tasked with writing short stories in high school I was relished the experience. In the same year I recall writing my first poem, and falling in love with the art form, even more so than I was with the girl I had written it about. I took these as small pleasures and thought nothing else of my enjoyment of them. Among these other writers I felt a comfort, and inspiration that I had not previously known. I spent a great deal of my time in school with these writers. Perhaps far too many near sleepless nights before morning classes. College taught me that I loved to write, that I was born to write. Though it wasn’t in some English or creative writing class that I awakened my passion, but through blogging and collaborative writing with others on the internet. It was in these small pockets of other fledgling writers that I honed my craft.

Collaborative writing taught me a multitude of things. I learned to write from various perspectives and in multiple character voices. I learned to evoke a reader’s emotion through character action and word choice. I learned the importance of respecting your audience, and how to build an audience. Blogging and cooperating with others in collaborative writing gained me a small following in time.

It was through blogging that the audience I found grew to understand the inner workings of my mind, and I was allowed to explore more experimental forms of writing. The size of my audience may be meager, but these are people who consistently support my work even if that support is just a simple like or short comment on social media. They return time and time again, proving to me that someone out there is resonating with my words. Sometimes that is all a writer needs to keep going when it feels as though their inner flame is dying out. I have the support of these people, and as that grows, I just may be able to earn a living from this writing thing.

Until I reach Gaiman heights I must find other ways to monetize my passion. I’ve mulled this over a few times and currently the best way is to win Vocal contests. That is not at all easy though with so many talented writers competing. If I want to make money, I need something that is unique to me. I need my niche, and I think I’ve found it. With my background and small group of supporters I could offer collaborative writing sessions. They helped ignite my passion and improve my writing so I know it can do the same for others. Those who are true fans of my work could be given exclusive previews of my upcoming projects, insight into my writing process, and access to inquiries about anything I’ve written.

These would be the starter privileges afforded to those who choose to support me financially in this writing adventure. Naturally they would increase and expand as new opportunities arise in my career. Perhaps one day I will be so fortunate as to give my supporters signed copies of my work, or early access to my latest published projects. The future is limitless in that regard even if it did not always seem that way.

To be truthful until very recently I thought it impossible to earn money from my writing even after discovering my passion for it. I thought it an interesting pastime, or simply a tool to express myself in private. I had resigned myself to working an average job that I had no real interest in and to keep writing in the dark. Recently I’ve been shown it’s possible to monetize my passion. The first payment I ever received from my writing was a ten-dollar tip on Vocal from a dear friend. Her intent was to show me that it was indeed possible to earn money from my writing. Anything short of accomplishing that goal is failing her and myself. I’ve already won one Vocal contest, and I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon. In the future I’ll offer my unique services to those who desire them. I’m going to write novels, and comics. World renowned screenplays will have my name credited. Collections of my poetry will be cherished internationally. I thought I couldn’t build a career from my writing, but I was wrong.

I do not want to be a writer.

I have to be a writer.

I will be a writer.