How to Test your Relationship

They say you don’t know someone until you Move in with them. They say there’s things that a person does behind closed doors that can sway the scales of love for better or for worse. Nowadays it’s common place for a couple to move in together before even thinking about the M word. And because of this it is believed that the marriage rate has decreased drastically.

Is marriage outdated? Is it necessary for a happy long lasting relationship? But most importantly is it even obtainable after going to the mother of all relationship killers..........IKEA.

Before giving my opinion on the matter let me take yall back to a quick snippet of my life at a time when i thought i was in love. I had just graduated from college and moved out of my cozy little dorm i got to call all my own (besides the complete stranger sleeping in the bed directly adjacent to mine lol) and moved back in with my parents. I had met my boyfriend at the time soon after and would spend the majority of my time at his place because, lets face it, once you move away from home its hard as all heck to obey the king and queen‘s rules again. Although spending time at his place was just fine, and his roommate was totally chill, we eventually decided to get a place of our own and made a trip to IKEA.

And then the arguments happened. “lets get blue curtains” “how about green curtains” “you know i hate green” “you would like green if you gave it a chance” “we arn’t getting green!” “I’m getting green! You get whatever you want!”

Our relationship ended before it even began. Over curtains.

when dissecting this little spat into tiny red flags that put a stop to our, otherwise happy relationship, i realized that the argument wasn’t about curtains at all. It was about two people fighting to change each other, and instead of finding some common ground they were just trying to force the other to be more like them. It was doomed from the start.

You will be happy to know that since then, that boyfriend and i have broken up and both moved on. And on. And on. And on. And now after frenching way too many toads, I’ve finally found a guy I can see myself with for the rest of my life.

Last Thursday, we signed a one year lease on our new apartment. And being that his place was filled with ketchup stained hand-me-downs and mine with garage sale and craigslist furniture it was time to take the plunge. It was time to put our relationship to the test. The ultimate question, can our love overcome the trials and tribulations of IKEA.

My anxiety about furniture shopping with this beautifully handsome man who i didn’t want to breakup with, not even the tiniest bit, was at the least....OVERWHELMING. Would we agree on the type of furniture we wanted. Was our collective style going to be more modern eclectic or country vintage. Would we even be able to choose a style that tickles both our fancies. And if we didn’t agree could we at least compromise. My eyes were welling with fearful tears.

When we got to IKEA a quick observational glance revealed the majority of IKEA’S shoppers seemed to be couples in our age group. All here to put their own relationships on the Chopping block. My anxiety whispered in my ear. It blew a cool breeze on my neck. It lodged itself in my throat. And to my surprise, as quick and persistent as it had come, it just as eagerly flew away to go bother some other poor girl. As we were waiting to get inside the store, which took about 45 minutes on a long, winding, socially distanced line, my boyfriend grabbed my hand and said “Are you ready to show all these other losers what a Real Couple looks like?” Which of course made me chuckle and hit his chest out of embarrassment that our surrounding neighbors had overheard. And my anxiety melted away. At that point it didn’t even matter what curtains we chose. As long as we could hang them up in OUR home together.

Thursday night, back at our apartment, we cursed the cavemen who created the picture book of assembling instructions And laughed while eating some Swedish meatballs.

And so conclusively i have formed my opinion that IKEA does not doom all relationships. Rather it weens out the strong ones from the ones that arn’t built for the duration of time and weathering elements that life is going to hand them.