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How To Prevent Cheating In A Relationship [Therapist Advice]

To stop cheating, you have to recognize and avoid attraction

By AndilePublished about a year ago 4 min read
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To stop cheating, you have to recognize and avoid attraction

It isn't easy to foresee whether you'll be the survivor of duping in a relationship. Be that as it may, there are systems you and your accomplice can embrace to forestall unfaithfulness, as indicated by Lucia O'Sullivan, a Teacher of Brain research at the College of New Brunswick who concentrates on monogamy.

On a new episode of the web recording "Sex and Brain science," facilitated by Kinsey Foundation sex specialist Justin Lehmiller, O'Sullivan made sense of the three systems effectively monogamous couples use to stay reliable.

However these procedures can help, O'Sullivan said couples should likewise impart about how they characterize cheating. She told her exploration showed individuals don't commonly examine what "cheating" signifies when they enter another relationship. Since everybody has an alternate assessment of what tricking involves, it prompts miscommunication and relationship issues later, said O'Sullivan.

Essentially, people are constantly presented to others they see as alluring. O'Sullivan said that if somebody has any desire to be monogamous, they need to try not to follow up on those impulses.

She found couples who maintain their monogamy tend to use three tactics:

They focus on their partner and how wonderful they are, which means consistently investing in the relationship through date nights and other forms of intimacy, said O'Sullivan.

They focus on negative or obnoxious qualities when exposed to someone they otherwise find attractive outside of their relationship.

They think about the aftermath of cheating and all they would lose if they were unfaithful.

In the end, O'Sullivan discovered that faithfulness was more prevalent in those who controlled their attraction to persons outside of their partnership.

O'Sullivan said to Lehmiller, "It's one thing to have a crush from a distance, but another to communicate it because to communicate it is to open that door.

Couples who quietly act on their attraction to someone else can therefore be enticed to cheat, according to O'Sullivan. She claimed that those who wander frequently spent time with someone they referred to as "an appealing other," which diminishes the value of their monogamous relationship.

It also invites cheating, according to O'Sullivan, when a partner in a monogamous relationship verbally or nonverbally expresses their desire to the other person.

She advised those who see this tendency in themselves but wish to change it to be more aware of their thoughts and behaviors prior to the temptation to act inimically to their relationship. With additional practice, students will be able to use cheating-prevention techniques and restrain themselves. You're more inclined to cheat if you verbally or physically indulge your interest.

It's critical to identify the source of your temptation to cheat if you're thinking about doing so. Is there something producing a lot of stress and strain in the relationship? Does your relationship fail to meet your needs? Or perhaps you've had a hard time committing in the past.

According to psychologist Kelsey M. Latimer, Ph.D. CEDS-S, founder of Hello Goodlife, "in essence, thoughts of cheating are frequently not really about wanting to be with the person that the fantasy is about, but rather more a reflection of the internal difficulties they are experiencing at the time or in their current environment, according to psychologist and Hello Goodlife founder Kelsey M. Latimer, Ph.D. , CEDS-S.

Bustle Ashley Batz

When you're already committed to someone, it's simple to dismiss a crush as foolish or not serious. If you are drawn to someone from afar, that is acceptable. However, if you discover that you're spending a lot of time with them or that you're actively keeping up with them on social media, it could be wise to quit the relationship before you get too involved. Treat your crushes with respect. Graber advises against spending one-on-one time with a crush when you're already involved. "On social media, unfollow them, and stop giving yourself reasons to lie to yourself. If you're tempted, break up with your main partner or stop flirting with other people.

"I realize this seems incredibly difficult, but having this talk offers you the opportunity to determine if this is the proper connection and to explore perhaps whether the relationship should stop. It can also present an excellent chance for you to improve your bond.

You can be going through a difficult time in your relationship or you might feel that your needs aren't being addressed. But lying is never the solution. Most likely, it will simply make your difficulties worse. But if you try to understand why you're tempted and put more effort into your relationship, and you'll be able to resist the need to cheat.

Learn to love yourself first so you can reflect that to the next person and love them as you love yourself and be true, if something feels wrong it probably is and you must be able to leave a relationship where there's mistrust to save yourself from the drama and messy situations you might find yourself in should you decide to stay.

Hurt people hurt more, so it's important to protect your spirit and energy and not bring a circle of trauma into your life. Love is the only power that conquers all, and god blessed us with it, but before you learn to love anyone, learn to love yourself first, so you can know when you are being played and misled or disrespected.

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