How To Pay It Forward With a Smile

There's an old song that always served as a pick-me-up whenever I felt the need for one. A classic, an evergreen, a positivity anthem. Originally released in 1928, it was later revived by Frank Sinatra, Louis Armstrong, and more recently, by Michael Bubble. I guess the world needs a constant reminder that when you're smiling, the world smiles with you.

I'm sure the phrase sounds familiar to you, right? We often hear it quoted, but have you ever thought about it? Really thought about it? Or better yet, tried it? If you're like me, then you always have something on your mind, some important task that needs to be accomplished, a project at your demanding job that needs to be overseen. In short, a very active cognitive activity and too little time foryourself. You read a lot of self-help articles, maybe listen to the occasional podcast on the matter. You long to unwind, but there is always something that needs to get done, so you push yourself and you push some more. Have I hit a soft spot?

Well, an interesting thing happened to me yesterday that inspired me to pause and take notice. I was walking in the blistering cold on some last-minute errands for the upcoming holidays, nose redder than Rudolph's, ears frozen, hands laden with shopping bags when I did something out of character. I lifted my eyes from the pavement and looked ahead. Approaching from the opposite direction, was a lone teenager with a nose similar to mine, but sporting a profound difference: he was smiling. A large, goofy, heartfelt smile. At first, I narrowed my eyes in puzzlement. What gives him the right to go about with a smile like that? He was alone, so the merriment must have been sparked from inside. Beneath that gawky, freckled, even a tad awkward appearance, lay something special. As I contemplated that, the most peculiar thing happened. The muscles in my face acted on their own accord and produced a smile of their (my) own. 

The revelation almost stopped me in my tracks. I was smiling, my bad humor evaporated thanks to the subtle yet powerful magic of a smile. And it didn't end there. My smile turned so luminous that an elderly woman who I later passed by started smiling too. What sorcery is that? I had to get to the bottom of this.

The science behind smiles

In her book Why Smile? The Science Behind Facial Expressions, Marianne LaFrance says that:

Human smiles are designed to captivate. We see smiles, distinguish those that are genuine from those that are not, and move toward the latter. All this happens in a split second and typically out of conscious awareness. This, then, is a key fact about smiles. They are consequential-they affect what others feel and do. Far from being merely a nice gesture or a great asset, a credible smile is a force to be reckoned with. Smiles are not merely consequential; they are indispensable to physical health, psychological well-being, and social viability.

Smile reciprocity

They affect what others feel and do. At this point, I was hooked and hungry for more, so I kept researching. It seems science has demonstrated that during face-to-face interactions, people reciprocate their conversation partners' genuine and polite smiles with matching smiles. I know what you're thinking - that's common knowledge, you needed science to back you up? Not so fast, my friend. Although this behavior is widely accepted, science has given us the why. And that is predictive mechanisms, thoroughly researched in many academical papers, like Predictive and Reactive Mechanisms in Smile Reciprocity. The motor predictive systems that are engaged during action execution are also involved during joint actions with peers and during other human-generated action observation.

There's a lot of literature on the matter if you want to dig deeper. But for me, it was enough to prompt a mesmerizing concept, thanks to my serendipitous encounter with the freckled teenager.

Pay it forward with a smile

Imagine a chain of smiles. The teenager's smile sparked my own, which triggered the elderly woman's, and started a ball rowling. An avalanche of positivity. In a split second, you can have a real impact on a stranger's life. You can change it for the better. Come to think of it, the power of a smile comes with equal responsibility, to paraphrase my buddy Spiderman. Wouldn't you agree? It really is both an opportunity and a responsibility. If you can brighten someone's day with a mere smile, why won't you? And no, I'm not suggesting walking around with a Joker grin, but whenever those inner voices turn nasty and you feel a frown setting in, just remember what you could accomplish not just for you but for the whole world if you chose to focus on the good. Find a bright spot in your current context, be constantly aware of the beauty that lies all around you, silence the naysayers (especially the ones in your head), and just smile. Maybe you'll find out that the world does smile with you.

When you're smilin', when you're smilin'

The whole world smiles with you

When you're laughin', when you're laughin'

The sun comes shinin' through

Because, and that's very important too

But when you're cryin', you bring on the rain

So stop your sighin', be happy again

Keep on smilin', 'cause when you're smilin'

The whole world smiles with you

Final thoughts

A smile is a mighty tool not just for the individual but for the world at large. Don't underestimate its power and use it in your day-to-day life. After all, you don't need to pass your Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Test in order to wield one. Its magic is available to all, by default. Pay it forward.

by A.M. Radulescu