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How to change the seemingly mute, non-verbal, honest, introverted self?


By Dylan M ParkinPublished about a year ago 4 min read

To change your personality, you must first understand the mechanism of personality formation and the behavior patterns and respective strengths of "introverts" and "extroverts".

Introverts regain their energy by being alone.

So it's not that they like to be alone, but rather, solitude is their norm.

They communicate and get along with others, but they are actually consuming energy.

If you are such a person, of course you immediately understand, but if you are not, you may be very skeptical as to why someone would be both outgoing and cheerful and introverted.

More on this below.

There is a model in psychology called the "Five Factor Model", also known as the "Big Five Personality Model". It is currently recognized as a more comprehensive model of personality analysis.

In this model, the personality of a person is differentiated by five dimensions.

They are

Openness to experience (Openness to experience)

Conscientiousness (Conscientiousness)

Affinity (Agreeableness)

Neuroticism (Neuroticism)


On the Extraversion dimension scale, high scorers are considered "extroverted" while low scorers are considered "introverted".

Extroversion: Tend to be interpersonal, enthusiastic, talkative, confident, and enjoy making friends. Feel happy in social gatherings. Mostly willing to spend time with others rather than alone. Energetic in the presence of others, but becomes bland or bored when alone. Prefer to talk with others rather than think alone. And so on.

Introverted: Tend to be quiet, low-key, thoughtful, and rarely participate in social activities. They take pleasure in solitary activities, such as reading, writing, drawing, programming, etc. Most typical introverts prefer to be alone rather than spend time with others. Are used to focusing on only one thing at a time. Prefer to think alone rather than talk to others. And so on.

As you can see, the key to distinguishing between an "extrovert" and an "introvert" is to see whether the person prefers to be with others or to be alone. Instead of being cheerful, lively, talkative, these.

Because: introverts can also show the above traits when they are with close friends.

In more depth, the differences between extroverts and introverts lie in the following three main points.

1. Breadth and depth of experience

Extroverts tend toward breadth.

They like to know a lot about a lot of things, they are passionate about a lot of fields, they like to make a lot of friends (but perhaps none of them are close enough to know), and they like to try different things. For them, life is about accumulating the widest possible range of experiences.

Introverts, on the other hand, tend to expand their depth in one area.

They are also interested in many areas and things, but unlike extroverts, most of them don't just dive in and out, but go deeper. They don't have many friends, most of them are just nodding acquaintances, but they will make friends with their friends.

For them, too much experience can cause stress.

2. Response to stimuli

Extroverts enjoy experiencing a variety of different stimuli and have a high adaptive value and a high level of recovery to stimuli. That is, they are receptive to stimuli and have a high level of adaptation to them.

Introverts have a higher level of inner activity, and for them, any stimulus that enters their brain causes a rapid rise in tension levels (relative to extroverts), causing the uncomfortable feeling of "too much stimulation".

3. Source of energy

This is the main point.

Extroverts get their energy from the outside world.

For them, meeting, talking, and doing things together are all ways to get energy. When they are alone, which means they are cut off from their source of energy, they will soon feel depleted and bored and tired.

Introverts, on the other hand, make their own energy.

For them, gathering, talking, doing things together, all cost them energy. They can only regain their energy when they are alone. That's why some people get tired easily when they are with others, and stay by themselves instead of being energetic, that's how it is.

However, introverts are by no means all quiet, low-key, not good at talking, when they have a lot of energy, he can talk to you for hours, and fly.

Likewise, extroverts are not necessarily cheerful and lively. When he runs out of energy, he will also fall flat on his face.

The key only lies in the level of energy, and the way to restore it.

how to

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