Girl with the Pixie Haircut

Well, let’s get on with it! Last week my incredible Yaya surprised me with a trip to New York City and of course I jumped at the offer. I want to live in a big city, to live fast paced, just to experience a different atmosphere.

I met this woman while in line to get on the plane, Friday. She had a beautiful face with a nose ring and a pixie haircut. There were tattoos on both of her arms of different quotes, some were tribal, and she was with one carry on. It seemed as though she was upset about something or at least what it was was bothering her. Maybe it was possible she had been fucked over by someone who knows. I could’ve been completely off. Anyways, she seemed hurt that is all.

Me and Yaya started conversing with her and she appeared unperturbed and almost surprised that someone cared to speak to her in an airport, a place where people are just trying to get where they need to be. I had mentioned that I wanted to move to New York eventually, however, she stopped me immediately to say that it was a bad idea. The woman went on to explain the the reason she was traveling to New York was to move herself out. She had lived in Queens her whole life, maybe she lived by herself at the moment, but she was adamant about leaving that place forever.

Knowing nothing about what happened, I tried to wrap my head around why anyone would leave New York. Why does anyone leave where they live, though? I wanted to understand her even though I had been talking to her for maybe ten minutes. Where she is moving is irrelevant, I just wanted to know why there was a move in general. In her eyes, it looked like she was recently hurt, my point is that there is always a legitimate reason why people move deep down. I would never tell someone to move to Naples, where I’m from, because of all the trauma I experienced there, but someone else might absolutely love it. Maybe this woman endured and horrible breakup, family issues, or she just needed something new because she was too content. Whatever it was, she wants to be understood, everyone does.

In my life, I’ve never wanted anything more than to be understood and loved and to do that for someone else. I always wanted to move away and I’m not saying moving is a horrible decision. Sometimes you have to get out to realize there’s a better life out there for you. I moved out of my situation, knowing there would be other shit I had to deal with, but it was easier to handle being in a new place with new faces. As I sat down on the plane, I realized that if I wanted to understand anyone or unconditionally love someone right now it was myself.

I spent so many nights, days, and dreams harping on myself that I had disabled me from trusting anyone and I became bitter and selfish. Hell, I wanted to move out of the country for all the wrong reasons. People tell you the “end result,” but there isn’t one, it’s an everyday journey. It doesn’t get easier, you just get better at handling what life throws at you. When you realize that the person next to you might feel the same way it makes it much easier to be open, to understand, to be true and raw, grow into your own.

I try as hard as I can to communicate my point of view, my heart, and my mind on here. I struggle with it for the reason that I’m always in my head or plankton is controlling my brain, fuck the chum bucket. What I’m saying is that this woman might have been distressed or she could’ve been the happiest she has ever been. Regardless, listening to her made me understand myself a lot more. Bring the walls down a little bit and you will be astonished by the result.