Future Dave

Future Dave

David and Arlene were wild with excitement when they talked about their future together. A future they were planning in the freshness of new love. Every day they filled with easy caressing, laughter and love-drunk games. One game they created for fun, they played during long walks and drives across town. As they passed the scenery, houses, old buildings, parks, any land they liked, one would ask the other in a tone of teasing delight, “Would you buy that place for one dollar?” It was absurd that any piece of property could be purchased for just one dollar, but it was fun to imagine. “Well baby, seeing as though I’ve got a five dollar bill in my pocket I think we can make that work.” It sent Arlene into a giggling tizzy. David learned his new love mostly preferred abandoned spaces and odd corners of the city. She would see a rundown shack or an overgrown yard, a rotting dock at the edge of a serene pond, an old barn, or a green gully scattered with debris and exclaim to David that she had to have it. She would point excitedly at a dusty patch of grass growing wildflowers near the freeway. “Would you buy that for a dollar?” She would ask. “Absolutely.” David would say and she would steal from him a celebratory kiss. So when they drove past the big, white farmhouse, and there at the end of the driveway was a sign that read in faded block lettering, ‘FOR SALE $1.00’, David pulled over immediately. They both sat in silence, gobsmacked. “That’s hilarious.” Arlene finally said without laughing. “Well?” She turned to him and smiled. “It’s in our price range.”

“Well Arlene, I believe it’s perfect but I’m going to have to counter at fifty cents.” He looked into her eyes. “It’s a little rough around the edges.”

“Sold!” She replied, delighted.

Without saying a word David shifted into gear and the car started to undulate forward slowly. As they moved down the driveway Arlene rolled her window down to the smell of lavender, and a curtain of cicadas rolled down with it. The driveway dipped and then rose again finally revealing a huge wrap around porch and a single car parked at the top of a green hill. Arlene’s eyes twinkled into a mischievous grin. They parked and without saying a word walked towards the house together. As they moved up the steps onto the porch the front door swung open. Inside a short, blond woman in an ill-fitting skirt stared at them. She was red-faced and squeezing a set of keys in her hand.

“Are you him?” She asked.

David smiled at her. “Am I him?” He looked to Arlene.

“I don’t know, are you him?” Arlene said giggling.

“Cut out the games, please!” The lady blurted at them harshly.

David and Arlene looked to her, stunned. “No, sorry about any confusion. We were just driving by...” He stammered.

The short blond in the tight skirt stared at him through squinted eyes. David and Arlene only blinked back.

“Well come on.” The blond’s voice rose as she jiggled the keys in her hand and swung the door open wider with a new gusto. She straightened her skirt, ushering them in. “So Mr and Mrs….?” She looked at David and waited. He smiled at Arlene, who looked curiously back at him.

“Thompson. We’re Mr and Mrs Thompson.” He said with a grin. “Well, we will be. Someday.” Arlene’s eyes glimmered.

The blond spoke deadpan. “Good for you Romeo. You sure got it all figured out. Well, what are you waiting for? Let’s get this show on the road then.”

Arlene stepped forward pulling him along with her. The blond slammed the door behind them startling the room. She spoke before anyone could. “So it’s just as you asked for. This house was cleaned out yesterday. The smaller house at the bottom of the hill was cleaned out last week. Both houses were infested. Exterminators were here a full two weeks fumigating, which you paid for of course. Tell you what, had I known what terrible shape these places were in I would have suggested you just demolish. Quite the project on your hands. If I were you, and my husband is a contractor so I can tell you I know what I’m talking about, if I were you I would replace that roof before the weather starts. That ain’t gonna hold. My husband-”

“Excuse me.” David interrupted.

“Yes?” She waited.

“I’m sorry, did you say instructions?”

“In your little, black book. I have it actually.” She extended a small, black square to him. “Go ahead, take it. I must say that little book has held up quite well after all these years, eh?”

She pushed the book into his hands. “Anyway, where was I? There are five bedrooms. Four up and one down. The deed is for both houses. That’s eight bedrooms total. In your request, itemized there in the book, you asked for the estate to remain untouched. She turned to the inside of the house tapping her foot impatiently.

“Wait. I’m sorry. I think you’ve got the wrong idea.” David looked to Arlene who was already staring at him. “I don’t know who you are waiting for but we were just driving by the FOR SALE sign and we thought who would really sell a piece of property for one dollar? We thought we would just take a look.” He stared at the woman who looked back at them silently. She straightened her skirt again. “I really have to do this huh?”

“Do what?” David said, still holding the little, black book.

She grabbed it out of David’s hand, opened it, cleared her throat and began reading. “My darling, I will walk with you through all the neighborhoods of our lives, one street at a time.” She lowered the book and looked to David and Arlene, who now were the ones standing silently dumbfounded.

“I believe that’s what you instructed me to say Mr. Thompson?” She asked, squinting at them.

“How did you?” David looked at Arlene who was already looking at him, her eyes wide. “Where did you get those words?” He stumbled.

“You instructed me to say them to you if you denied the deed for this dump. Page five in your little book. Might I just say, and it serves as a compliment that is, you said you would look younger but my goodness.” The blond crumpled her face. “Well this is all yours then isn’t it?”

Arlene could hardly move. David had proposed marriage the night before with those very words and with the promise that Arlene was the only woman to ever hear them.

The blond shoved the little book back into David’s hands.

“Per your instructions on page five, there is a sealed letter folded and tucked in the paper pocket on the back cover. I didn’t open it, trust me I usually don’t have time for these kinds of games.”

David interrupted, “I’m sorry what?” He opened the book and flipped to the pocket on the inside cover. There tucked inside was a folded square of paper. He removed it. On the front was written in faded handwriting, Mr & Mrs David Edwin Thompson. Arlene’s jaw dropped. He unfolded the piece of paper and began to read aloud. “Dear David-” He paused and looked at Arlene. “This is all going to come as a bit of a shock but I need you to remain calm and listen to Mrs. Doruvio-” He looked to the blond lady, who looked at him with a new, snooty smile. “...she has been fully instructed by you, David, prior to your showing up here today. See page seven in your Moleskin. It is indeed a coincidence you stumbled across this house. It is however not a coincidence Mrs. Doruvio is here to meet you and give you this book and letter. You, David, asked her to be here to do so. Something you worked to arrange over the last two years of your life, after you came back. These are instructions from across time, David. This will make more sense, in time.” David’s heart stopped. “This house is the place you and Arlene will live and-” He looked to Arlene who could see in his sparkling eyes that he was indeed reading his own words.

“...you and Arlene will live happily for the next sixty-five years. Do not demolish the first floor bedroom. Normally I would never tell you anything about your future but in this case I am saving you both some arguments. You will need that bedroom, I promise. Rent the little house. Don’t worry about the bugs. They aren’t that bad.”

The blond harrumphed.

David read on. “Here is the deed. Paid in full, by you, on Oct 25th 3075, to Banzai Bros Bank and Co. Account number 2275667721. Save this number! County will make you show proof of ownership when they try to buy you out for the construction project. Do not sell! There is a safe in the house, see page twenty, inside is twenty thousand dollars cash. You earned every penny, and you saved, so do not panic at the sum. It was acquired above board and it is yours! Put it in the bank immediately. That’s the only other thing I am telling you about your futures. One last item, Mrs. Doruvio will need a proof of exchange to pass off the deed today. It’ll be an important detail later. Here, I’ve noted the purchase as June 25, 2020 to the cost of $1.00. The house is already paid for, this is a formality of course. Arlene has one dollar in her pocket now. Currency must be exchanged, understand? Get a receipt from Mrs. Doruvio and keep it with the book. Best of luck on the next sixty-plus years of your lives. It’s going to be a beautiful ride. Sincerely-” David stopped reading, stammering on the last words. “It’s, it’s…”

Arlene grabbed the letter from his hands and continued to read aloud where he had left off. “Sincerely” She paused, “Dave.” Her mouth dropped “That’s your signature David. This is your handwriting.” She looked at the blond who now stood akimbo in the doorway breathing at them.

“Okay! Well that just about does it for me and this episode of the Twilight Zone!” She let out a snort and pulled her skirt sideways again. “The keys are on the table next to the deed so you two can get started on that beautiful future of yours. Oh! My husband’s brother owns the pawn shop in town. You can get some pretty great deals on rings there if you want to, well-” She looked at Arlene’s left hand. “Make it official and all. Oh one more thing! I believe you should have, well, one dollar in your pocket?”

Now David and the blond looked to Arlene curiously.

Arlene felt in her left pocket, nothing. The lady watched her like a cat. She felt in her right pocket and then gasped as she drew out a crumpled one dollar bill.

“Well all be.” The blond said, swiping it from Arlene’s fingertips. “Here you go! Receipts next to the keys. Good luck love birds!” She slammed the door.

David looked to Arlene who stood like a statue staring at the closed door.

“What just happened?” She said.

He looked again at the little, black book in his hand and then back to his bride then fumbled in his pocket. He reached for Arlene’s hand, spread her palm out and into it he dropped two quarters. “I think the price we agreed on was fifty cents. That’s your change.”

Arlene glowed. David felt his heart flip as he watched her turn to look into the dusty, old space and it was then he knew they were home.