Don’t Let Anyone or Anything Dim Your Inner Light

"The more light you can turn on the inside of you, the brighter the world you live in will be."

I was born with it. I know what was in there. Inside was a light, that is reflected in my smile, and my soon-to-be home to me, love life, family, friends, and my bright future.

I don't remember the exact day it happened, I can't remember the last event happened, but the interior light went out. I was more, he was a care-free girl that he once was, and I was lost in an abyss of darkness and sadness. Best of luck and happiness in the past.

It was the sadness, the guy I was supposed to get married to and that broke my heart? It's because my parents got divorced, and I suddenly became the center of the? It's not that I never stood up for myself, and for not telling you the truth? If not, I'm intimidating my, "hinduism", has begun to take effect?

I can understand that. I was suddenly paralyzed with fear, and my life was in a place I don't want to be with any longer, so I came to an end.

At the age of twenty-one, I was diagnosed with stage three melanoma. The doctor who did the biopsy was called home to tell me the results and left a message. I deleted the message.

About an hour later, my parents asked me what I was going to call me the doctor. I told them, yes, yes, and and I deleted the message. They are just a phone call to the office, the doctor is in the next room.

A few minutes later, they came to my room and cried and told me that I had stage three melanoma, and there is a need for it to be taken away immediately. I was scared. In fact, I felt relieved, in the sense that it may have been something that took me away from this world of pain I was currently living in. I froze.

I was no longer able to form a friendship, I had lost the skill that once would have been so easy for me. I didn't let anyone get to me. My wall was so high that I have been promised that no one would come in.

Shame, guilt, and shame on the girl that I had been turned into began to eat me alive. Why am I even here? So, what was the point?

Since the tender age of eighteen, I have been suffering from pain and fear, each and every day, and have been constantly telling myself out loud, "I can do it, no matter where he was born, or in any other area of your life.

To deal with all of this, the confusion and the fear felt, the only way to go out drinking, drug-taking and self-destructive in all the ways that are available to me.

I drank to the point where I lost consciousness, I have found peace, a complete escape from the real world. For me, it doesn't matter if I were to put myself in danger or the ruin of a relationship with a loved one, what it was like. I don't care anymore.

The last straw was on a new year's eve of 2001, when I was walking back to my dark conditions. Finally, I told my friend that I would like to * * * * to me. The next morning, my mother, who had a strained relationship, due to his inability to look at my self-destruct, called me on the phone, and her eyes were the end of the year.

He told me that a friend of mine called him and told him I told him I wanted to kill myself. My mom told me to seek help as soon as possible.