Creator Of Worlds

As a child I always thought people had their life together… as I’ve grown up I’ve come to realize we just become really good at making the best of what we have and faking the calm. We all try to find ways to cope with the stress of paying the bills, working, taking care of family, and that all important balance. We’re taught from an early age to go to school, get a job, have a family, and be complete. That’s all good and well, but not realistic or goals for everyone. We’re not a one size fits all like society might have us believe. An escape to life is pretty essential for anyone’s mental health and stability. And I never realized until years ago that I had already found mine.

Pictures have always been easier for me than words. As a young child I would draw for hours on end getting lost in my own little world. But ultimately that wasn’t my happy place, not yet. Pencils and inks are ok, easy to use, full of options… but no. In high school when everyone wanted me to take more useful subjects, I signed up for an art class. Even with everything falling down around me, having older parents, money trouble, and my best friend passing on… I learned how to paint. I’ve always had anxiety, but when my best friend passed away we were barely past our sweet sixteen, and it hit really hard. I was in a bad place and blamed myself for not being able to do anything. My only saving graces were working myself to an early grave, and my art. My grave isn’t here yet, but my art still is. I’d have a brand new canvas in front of me with images of what to create running through me head. Put a crimson was on, using method and attention… put a background, do some shading, highlighting, then suddenly a brand new image lay before me. So many times I got lost in those worlds when this one became too much. I wish back then someone had told me you could make realistic money at it. I went to college for a degree in Engineering I’ll never use, but still treasure the experiences. I did find steampunk through friends in those classes, and it inspires me to this day. Nothing has ever been as therapeutic or exciting as that first brush to canvas.

Fast forward twenty years and one child later during a pandemic. Stress abounds in this new environment. Working all the time I hadn’t had time to use the canvas’ I had collected… we’re talking quite a few in the collection. All of the sudden being laid off I had time, but also no inspiration. I picked up watching TikTok as a lot of people did. I end up on the artist side of TikTok, loving so many things and fascinated by the creators. The more I watched the more I wanted to participate. And although I’m back at work now I’ve got everything I need, including inspiration. Watching people enjoy making their art content on social media reminded me of a childhood where on sick days you watched Bob Ross make happy little clouds. We didn’t have satellite or cable growing up so we had maybe three channels and Bob Ross was on one of them. There’s something about the soothing voice and happy words combined with seeing a picture come to life at the hand of that man that just amazed me.

The art community is something truly unique too. In a lot of trades in the world people don’t want you to know how to do the thing… because that means you might cut into their profit margin. As on TikTok and in person with other artists we have a wonderful sense of community and want to help each other. Sometimes it’s sharing ideas about composition, methods we’ve learned on our own, or just talking our thoughts through. But if you ask me, it's a beautiful thing. I get online and see people sharing these things, then go to the comments and see so much support. It makes my heart happy.

There’s nothing quite like getting lost in your own little world, literally starting at what you’ve created from your own mind. The palettes as you sit and thumb through seas of color and hue, researching new techniques, the gentle scratch or glide of your brush as it moves across the purposely swept lines. But none of it compares to the smell of the wet paint. It’s funny how just a smell can make so much flow to your imagination, and hold so many memories. It doesn’t slap you in the face or just hit you… but gently like an invisible dancer enveloping the area around you transporting you to another place, much like some say a good book does. Suddenly you’re not here and now, you’re in this world of your own creation wondering what do I want to go here and what do I want them to be doing. There’s no violence or judging, well unless that is what you want. The news isn’t insisting you cover your face,who to hate, or what tragedy is happening right now. It’s a world that makes sense to you. Just don’t mix up your paint brush cup and tea cup, you’ll know really fast.

I can get lost in online posts or bookstores for hours. I love so many artists, but my biggest inspiration has always been Salvador Dali. Surrealism to me is like the really weird dreamscapes when you have your best sleep… it can be silly, inspirational, or anything in between. I’m especially in love with how surrealism can leave the imagination running wild. How many times have people wondered what the artist meant or felt. Good art leaves the viewer exploring parts of their own mind trying to figure it out, a true enigma. Of course I am a believer that there is no truly bad art. My mind races with images I have left to paint. Some are like dreams, and some like nightmares… but all are amazing. After I paint anything I wonder to myself what the viewer will think, what emotions it will inspire, what they think I meant, and tons more.

I work a pretty typical job, it’s a good job but it’s still working for someone else. Seeing so many succeed online I have the inspiration to create and try to make it. But I love it so much that even if I don’t make it my career I’m still going to do it, although a career is well within grasp. There are so many ways that you know you truly love something. My job is simple, so plenty of room for daydreaming while doing everything I need to do. So my artistic playground is where my mind wanders where there’s room to dream. Taking lunch breaks to write down ideas and talking about it to coworkers who tell you that your face absolutely lights up. I come home with so many little notes in my pocket scrawled throughout the day in hopes of not forgetting the idea that it looks like I throw confetti on my nightstand. That’s how I know what I was meant to be, it’s the one thing I never tire of thinking about. I’m an artist, a creator or worlds.