Choices

Many people hated Mondays and Wednesday because it’s either beginning of the week so you have to restart the bullshit you endured last week or its halfway through the week and you still have two more days until you can rest from the bullshit. Me I hated Tuesdays, not just any particular Tuesdays though a Tuesday after the summer holidays. I had over six weeks away from all the bullshit and now was the beginning of the first term in my final year at ‘The Dukes Grammar school and sixth form’ Sounds fancy? Yeah that’s because it’s filled with the privileged or scholarship kids and they’re even worse than the rich kids. The fact they named the bullshit school ‘Duke” showed how much their own arses they really are, and unfortunately I was one of them.

“Lily you’re going to be late!” Shouted Luke my oldest sibling.

“God forbid” I mumbled to myself as I stared at my perfectly ironed uniform. Pupils, including Sixth form, were forced to wear a Navy blue tartan pleated skirt or trousers, a white shirt with the logo on and a matching tie, As I tied my ginger balayage hair. They say it’s so everyone feels apart of the community that is our school, but I know it’s because it’s so they can control everyone.

“Lily Harry’s waiting!” Shouted Luke as he came bursting through my bedroom door “come on I’ve got to be at the hotel in half hour!” I grabbed my bags, Phone and books. I walked after his Jogging feet to a grumpy looking Noah. Noah was my twin brother, we were once inseparable up until last year.

“Morning grumpy” I tried to joke but he just continued to stomp past me muttering about how I had the cheek to even joke with him or something like that. He always did, it was the only form of communication we had anymore so I treasured it. I looked over my shoulder as I heard Luke talking to someone else. Tommy emerged from his room extra annoyed that Luke was dragging him out of his sacred place. Tommy was fourteen and had a serious attitude problem but only towards Noah and Luke. Luke was our only parent figure, he moved back home to take over our families company after our dad got arrested and mum died from child birth to my youngest sibling, Autumn. Tommy rolled his eyes as he approached me and we walked down the beautiful grand white with grey splashes marble, what made the staircase so grand was that it spilt of into two. The kitchen behind the stair case and in between the two spilts. I looked over at the huge canvas of out family, our entire family. I sighed as i looked at all our happy faces. I miss you mum.

“Lily!” Shouted two voices they sounded as if they were running towards me, i was getting. A ‘pep’ talk from Luke, as Harry, our driver, held the door open for us. I turned round and saw my two best friends; Francisco López and Arabella Abella . Francisco was a tall, Latin, lean, brown hair with matching eyes. To be honest he was gorgeous, everyone had the hots for him guys and girls and he was never shy to try. Arabella was french, her jet black hair dead straight just past her shoulders, no spilt ends in sight, her green doe eyes complimenting her ivory skin tone, her figure was one every girl wished they had. I held a small smile which I called my show smile. A ‘show’ smile is just for show, to show you’re okay. I felt both of their arms wrap round me, one round my waist and one round my neck. As they pulled back they gave me wide toothy grins.

“I’m so happy to be back” Gushed Arabella “Don’t get me wrong Paris and Rome were beautiful but there only so much you can do”

“I know what you mean Me and father went of to Bali and although I quite like the locals, I needed my two girls” Francisco sighed as he nudged between me and Arabella forming our normal trio way of walking. Francisco in the middle linked arms with his two ‘beautiful’ girls. That’s how it had always been, But that was before my less beautiful ‘incident’.

“What did you do lil?” Asked Arabella looking over at me with interest “We didn’t see any posts on Insta, snap or facebook?” she was right I didn’t post anything amazing to any of my socials because even though we could most definitely afford any given destination we didn’t. Ever since my ‘Incident’ my brothers decided that it was best if i just recovered and ‘worked on myself’ not that I minded just meant i could be by myself.

“I just danced and went to a charity thing at the hotel” I smiled I watched as they exchanged glances obviously realising that they forgot what happened. They both turned their heads looking at me giving me apologetic glances as if I was upset about them forgetting, That’s all i ever went is someone to forget.

“Guys I’m fine” I laughed as I nudged Francisco’s shoulder playfully “Lets just finish this year as quickly as possible.”

*

“Lily Andrews!” Shouted Mr. Robertson. Or as what we liked to call him Mr.Sweaty Betty, it was ridiculous with the amount the man sweats. I sat up, almost snapping my spine from the sudden movement, looking at him from my text book with a look of shock, I hadn’t even done anything I was peacefully reading my text book on the subject at hand. “You should be paying attention to what I am saying, not your book.” I narrowed my eyes in confusion, all eyes were on me as if they were expecting me to snap and defend myself. More like they want you to.

“I was reading along with the textbook, Sir” I replied, I leaned back in my seat casually crossing my arms almost as if I was challenging him. I had to be respectful because I was on one of my last warnings about kicking of at the teachers, Not my fault. Is. I say one of my last warning because no matter how much I tried they didn’t want to actually get rid of me. I’m seen as an ‘at risk’ young adult, whatever that meant.I watched as his brain ticked to think of something that would shut me up I knew he couldn’t, it was stupid for him to even pick on me. There were others to worry about, such as Justin David’s-who was chewing gum and spitting it out, there was Amber Richardson and Leah Wilson who were passing notes ,probably about which boy they hooked up with at the latest hottest party. I hated being in class with dimwits and that’s putting it nicely.

“Yes. Well just make sure you actually show you’re reading” he told me, I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at him “did you just roll your eyes at me?”

“No, sir” I answered shrugging And leaning forwards to prop myself into my hands “my eyeballs were simply exercising” I heard the muffling of laughter as everyone looked between me and Mr.Sweaty. I ran my tongue along my teeth, waiting for him to bite . I watched his eyes narrow, his vein not as explosive looking as it usually was which meant I hadn’t wound him up that much, just enough to hear the one line I knew all to well.

“Yes, well you and your eyes can stay behind after class” he said, an echo of immature ‘oohs’ circled the room as Mr. Robertson returning his smug face down to face the table, his finger running along the sheet of paper he was now starring so intensely at to probably figure out where had got to before he decided to interrupt the class and yell at me for a pointless thing. I didn’t want to stay behind nor did I want to be in his class, but I had to. I could see both my parents looking me disapprovingly as I imagined walking out, my dad with his rounded blue eyes starring at me with such disappointment that you would think I had killed someone and mum with her wine glass in one hand running her hands through her beautiful blonde locks stressfully shaking her head as she walks up and down behind our sofa whispering ‘where did we go wrong?’ I’d never have the answer but I always felt guilty. Lily Andrews. A girl who was a heiress of R&A hotels- which was a chain of hotels all around the world from watching the guards change in London to walking on the oldest street in Moscow- should really have more manners and respect. My life motto was ‘I’ll treat people with respect when they treat me with it.’

After Mr.Sweaty held me back, I left quietly and with my head down walking away from the groups of people around upstairs. I was in a private school with rich snobs and scholarship kids. Both are as terrible as each other, I’ll embrace that I am indeed one of those rich kiddies that use their family’s name and money, but that’s only because Dad refused to let me go get a job like any other Young adult in the world.

“How the mighty have fallen” sang a voice, a voice that makes the sound of nails on a chalkboard sound like angels singing. I turned to face the devil herself Ava Matthews. Daughter of a music producer. Ex- Girlfriend to our school Sports star Austin Miller. And total pain in my arse. “you used to practically run this school” she sighed dramatically as she leans against the wall crossing her arms “Now look at you all alone” she was taunting me, trying to get a reaction out of me. Don’t bite. I wasn’t going to let some hazel eyed blonde bitch let me get expelled and disappointment my family even more than I already had, I turned on my heel and went to walk away “loopy lily” she whispered to her friends who giggled. I stopped dead in my tracks. I looked ahead and saw a few people had obviously heard what Ava had said, and wanted to watch what unfolded. That’s the type of person everyone thought I was. Irrational. Angry. Thirsty for a fight. I saw Noah, watching me closely with his stupid football friends. His eyes seemed to be begging me to just walk away. I didn’t want to embarrass him, or my family name anymore than I had. I took a breath like Dr. Ross told me to and adjusted my bag onto my shoulder and carried on to my friends. I watched as everyone muttered in disappointment from the drama they thought was going to happen. Most of all I saw Noah look relieved and return to his friends and that in itself made me feel ashamed of who I was. He used to come over straight away and see if I was okay, key word being ‘used’ . I sighed walking to the common room where all the sixth formers hang out, my feet almost dragging from how exhausted I had been becoming. I was studying all the time since the incident but I had to get my grades up. My whole life had been set out for me right to the who I was going to marry. Which in my opinion wasn’t what a parent should do for a child but who am I to disagree with the way our family ran our business along with our lives. As you could probably tell I was very bitter about my family and the money we had. I scanned the room for my two best friends; I trudged across the room and slumped next to Francisco and laid my head on his shoulder.

“What’s the matter baby girl?” Asked Francisco the one thing these two had always done is comfort me and been there no matter what even when I was going through hard times.

“Ava. Mr. Sweaty. Life.” I said dramatically throwing my arms about as I said each one nearly hitting Francisco in the face “need I continue?”

“I think we got the picture Lil” chuckled Arabella “Ava calling you Loopy Lily again?” I nodded sticking my bottom lip out pouting ever so slightly “ did you kick of?” I shook my head

“I wanted to sooo bad” I moaned Arabella raised her eyebrows “but then I saw Noah and he looked embarrassed” letting out a small defeated sigh. I noticed Arabella shuffling a little at the mention of Noah’s name, her cheeks flushed red and her head turned to the floor. I sat up slowly looking at Francisco to see if he saw what I saw and luckily he was looking at me to Arabella with a questionable gaze. “What was that?” I asked her narrowing my eyes.

“What was what?” She answered a little too quickly as she tapped her fingertips together. She’s hiding something.

“That!” Pointed Francisco “Oh my god!” I looked at him trying to figure out what he had figured out, he was starring at her up and down “do you have the hots for Lily’s brother?” I widened my eyes starring at her with my mouth open wide. She shot Francisco a look that you could read that she’d kill him.

“What happened to him being a spoilt filled Testosterone dick?!” I asked she shrugged looking anywhere but me, she was really feeling awkward by this “when did this happen?” I asked a bit more calmer than my previous question she still wouldn’t look at me “was it when I was i-“ I started but she held her hand up to silence me whilst shouting ‘yes!’ Over me.

“We bonded over the fact how we hated what you did to yourself” she admitted she finally made herself look at me and I could see the pain in her eyes as she spoke about what I put them through, I nodded slowly “we went on a date and yeah that’s where it all stopped” she looked down letting out a groan.

“Huh?” Francisco said “that’s where it stopped? Why?”Me. She would never say it but I needed a lot of time to recover and a lot of my family’s time. I needed to make something right, something good needed to happen. I owe them all my life. I stood up walking away before she could protest or insist it wasn’t my fault. As I walked back upstairs to the where all other kids hang out I found my twin sitting there with his white Ralph Lauren button down shirt on sleeves rolled up and his hands in his hair stressing over his work in front of him. I noticed all his friends were looking at girl walking past giving them ratings in hushed voices. Pigs.

“Here comes a ten out of ten” whispered Ethan one of his dick friends. I stood next to Noah waiting for him to notice me. I felt uncomfortable with all the lads eyes on me, really didn’t need them practically drooling over me. Someone thinks their more than they are. I cleared my throat making my presence known to my oblivious brother, continuing to write his essay.

“I know you’re there, Lily ” he snapped “I’m just busy right now” his tone was agitated and harsh I knew I shouldn’t poke the bear but I never knew when to stop so why learn now. I signalled to his friend to budge up so I could sit opposite him, in which they did in a hurriedly fashion resulting in them being slightly clumsy. I slid in on the end.

“To busy for your twin sister?” I asked in a calm and collective voice

“Especially for my twin sister” he said throwing his pen down “haven’t you got somewhere to go get high or something” His tone serious and full of venom, each time he spoke I felt sick. I watched as his friends awkwardly went back to rating girls. I nodded slowly.

“Maybe I will” I said through gritted teeth I stood up and walked away from the table shaking my head.

“Lily!” He shouted after me. I could feel my hands becoming clammy, I didn’t realise I was holding my hands in a fist shape and so tightly I started to sweat. I used to do that when I was lying. I am not a druggy! I felt like screaming to the world but I knew no body would believe me! No one would understand what had really happened. They wouldn’t understand the choice wasn’t mine.