Big Heart Big Problems

"Sometimes it’s not the people who change, it’s the mask that falls off."

-Unknown

Who would've thought having a big heart would cause so much pain? We were taught to be polite, to love our enemies, and treat people the way we would want to be treated; and good things will come upon you. But why didn't anyone cover the possibilities of being taken advantage of? Having a huge heart, like mine, can put you in a place that most people couldn't even imagine, a place so dark that you can't see the monster it's turning you into.

21 years on this earth, and I have yet to master the art of selfishness. Most people I know who are nice to others get rewarded in some way, shape, or form. They say, "God blesses those who bless others," not me. My kindheartedness hasn't given me anything but bad luck, which started in middle school, where I lost my childhood best friend, Tamia Davidson, to the snobby rich kids.

After Tamia spread the rumor that I like to lick worms and talk to animals, everyone thought that I was weird and didn't want to talk to me. I would've never guessed that my best friend since Kindergarten would turn into my enemy. Just thinking about the times when I was a good friend to her and stuck up for her when she was getting bullied by the people she now calls her friends makes be sick. It's like I don't even know who she is anymore.

Moping around the school hallways wasn't going to bring my friend back, so I had to suck it up and move on. After a while, I gave up on trying to make new friends and came to terms with being alone for the rest of my middle school years. Well, that was until the new girl, Jessica Cummings, transferred from a school down South. She was so beautiful, and already the boys were flocking behind her like birds. She was the last person I thought would want to be my friend. I mean, she sat by me in math class, on purpose! There were so many seats available, but she chose to sit next to me.

Not to mention the time Tamia and her crew decided to smack my books out of my hand while walking to class and Jessica helped me pick them up. She even walked to class with me, and once again, she sat right next to me. Since then, she has been really nice to me and even chose to be my group project partner.

Come to find out she moved into a house in my neighborhood and she invited me over. Just thinking that this could jump-start our new friendship made me overwhelmingly happy. I accepted the invite with no questions asked. "My seventh grade school year may not be as bad as I thought," I said excitedly to myself. After the seventh period, I ran to my locker to gather my things to catch the bus home. As I walked towards the school bus, I noticed Tamia and Jessica talking while waiting for their rides. The conversation they were having seemed really friendly as if they had known each other for years.

Have you ever had a gut feeling that something bad is about to happen? Seeing Jessica and Tamia together made me slightly nervous, but there is no way she would do anything to hurt me. Jessica had been nothing but nice to me, and who said she can't have other friends? Although, Tamia has been nothing but a pain in my ass since 6th grade. Nonetheless, Jessica was an amazingly sweet person, and I trusted her with all of my heart. Well, at least I thought could.

Let's take a trip down memory lane to the time my childhood showed me no mercy. January 18, 2009 was the day my life changed for the worst—the day, I, Paisley Ann Carter, was set up by her middle school friend to be raped by the neighborhood pervert.

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