AS FATE WOULD HAVE IT

If there was one thing about the pandemic that Jewell appreciated, it was the ability to work from home. Although she loved her job, the commute was horrible and she hated driving in the traffic, but she hated even more the thought of public transportation or worse, taxi cabs. She had tried walking because it was not much more than a mile, but one time pushing through the mob with no way to avoid contact had been enough. She shuddered just recalling it. She was from a small town in southern Iowa, where you might have some traffic weekday mornings, and you will meet very few people walking anywhere. Except for the mall walkers, which is why she’d stopped going there.

So here she sat, dressed for the day but not ‘office’ dressed, sipping on coffee and smoking a bowl. Weedies - the breakfast of champions, she thought to herself and smiled. That was the number one reason she’d moved here - legal marijuana, and she got a medical card because of the pain she endured. No more trying to get some small amount of whatever her dealer had, and paying a small fortune for it, or going to his disgusting house to pick it up. It may seem like a small thing yet it made all the difference in the world, from the money she saved on it to the quality and choices she now had, to never having to worry about running out and not finding anything for days or weeks. Plus the weather here was so much better - she hadn’t worn her winter coat or boots since coming. Even when it snowed it melted away quickly due to being at a higher altitude.

You could even say she was one happy camper; which was funny because that’s what they’d lived in when they moved here years ago - a 27 foot fifth-wheel. Her daughter had the ‘bedroom’ upstairs, her son slept on the fold-down couch and she’d slept in the tiny bunk made for kids. It had a slide out which increased it by 36 square foot, and they had removed all the built-ins and replaced it with smaller furniture. Everyone had their own space with a desk or in her daughter’s case, a big screen TV and her gaming console. It was tight quarters especially considering they had shared it with a larger and a smaller dog and two cats. But they had grown a lot closer there, even though there were really tough times as well. Holy cow, she’d come a long way from there, none of it had been easy but she had no regrets.

Her newest assignment was to imagine someone winning or finding a large sum of money, and the resulting changes to their life. It wasn’t something she normally thought about, nobody she knew had ever done such and she expected nothing more for herself. Besides, she never wasted money playing lotto or buying those scratch cards, so how could she win something? After finishing her bowl and writing and deleting several sentences, Jewell sat back with her eyes closed and let the marijuana relax her aching body and opened her mind to possibilities. Life had schooled her in no uncertain terms to be content with what she had, so it was difficult to make the shift. What would she do if she had a rich uncle somewhere and he left her some money? The thought made her laugh out loud because her family was no better off than her, but she reminded herself it was just a story, so anything could happen.

She heard a soft meow by the door and got up to let Marigold, her little rescue cat, outside. She refused to go out the sliding glass patio door, so Jewell let her out by the main door, which was down an open corridor between apartments. There was a box there for community announcements and sales people left flyers there. As she was closing the door, she noticed something black sticking out of hers so she picked it up and went back in. She took the package to her desk and looked it over. There wasn’t any writing on it anywhere, it wasn’t bulky but it had some weight to it and when she shook it nothing happened. Sitting it down at her desk, Jewell debated on whether to open it. Maybe she could just turn it in to the office? - but then it was in her mailbox - what if it was intended for her? Shouldn’t she open it to find out?

First things first, Jewell, she told herself and cleaned some weed for another bowl. She took a nice, long hit off her pipe and thought about what it might be. It felt like a small book or packet of papers, so what harm could come from just opening it to see what it was? With that, she got out a fingernail file (who needs a letter opener?) and slit the top of the envelope open. Looking inside she saw what she had expected; it seemed to be a small booklet with a black leather cover. She took it out and looked over the outside and again, nothing was written on it. Maybe it was one of those journals you get that’s blank, she wondered.

Taking another drink of her now warmish coffee and a good pull on her pipe, she opened the cover to the first page and exhaled slowly. It said, “This book will change your life - read at your own risk”. Now Jewell had read a lot of books in her life; reading, in fact, had enabled her to live through some really shitty times starting when she was preschool age. So much so that when she entered first grade (no kindergarten where they lived at the time) she was reading chapter books. It wasn’t the first time she’d read such an intro, and she reached out to turn the page. Just then her phone’s alarm went off telling her to use her inhaler and Jewell nearly jumped out of her skin, knocking the phone off the desk and then banging her head on the keyboard drawer as she reached down to pick it up. At this point she didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, but she got the phone and shut the alarm off. God, how she hated them! But she regularly forgot important shit without the damn things. And it was far and above better than sticky notes everywhere!

When her heart rate leveled out again, she got up and rinsed her mouth, used the inhaler and rinsed again. Jewell had smoked cigarettes for 31 years before quitting, and even after 16 years she still had problems breathing. But it was manageable, and she didn’t have to be on oxygen, so she was thankful for that. Alright, she told herself, let’s see what we have here and she turned the page. It was handwritten, and not the neatest, making it hard to read. If that wasn’t bad enough, the writer had scribbled notes and drawings here and there. But she didn’t let that stop her; her mother had the worst handwriting ever so she tried patiently to make out what was written, and using her experience looking at old records on Ancestry when she and her son did genealogy together.

After laboring for what seemed hours, she didn’t have any better understanding of what the book meant when it had stated it’s warning. And it was anything but clear who had written it, or why it was now in her possession. She got up and let Marigold in, following her to her food dish and petting her while she ate. She didn’t remember when that ritual had started but the cat insisted on it now - it made her raise her butt and tail in the air, indicating she was happy. She smiled about it and petted her again, listening to her purr. Turning away, she went back to her desk and considered the book and her current assignment. Could it be a coincidence, or was this intentional?

In her experience, Jewell had found coincidence was rarely a factor in her life, or in those she knew. There was a solid reason behind everything, and a person or persons behind the reason. This seemed much too targeted to be a coincidence, but if it was sent by her editor- or by someone on her behalf - she might as well go along with it and see where it leads. Go down the rabbit hole, as it were. Just call me Alice, she thought, and read through the little book again, trying to get a grasp on something or anything she may have missed, and finding nothing.

Jewell decided to take a long, hot shower, letting the water run down her body and wash away some of the pain in her hip. It felt good to stay in - usually it was in and out to save on utilities, but today she let herself luxuriate. As she dried off she thought she might just go out for a bite to eat. She was getting tired of her own cooking and the idea of no dishes to wash was very appealing. Now, where should she go? She went into the closet and stood there looking at her wardrobe. She had a lot of clothes, but only a few things she actually wore consistently. Half of it was new and unworn, things that she didn’t like when she got them home but they were so cheap she didn’t return them and never took them to the thrift store, the rest she’d outgrown and hoped to fit back into some day. Fat chance, she thought, smiling.

Jewell put on her sleeveless black, white and pink flowered shirt with the long v-shaped lace hem and black leggings, no socks because it was pretty warm out for this time of year and a pair of white Croc flip-flops, one of three pairs of shoes she owned. I wish I could walk there tonight, she thought, but even the shower didn’t really dull the pain much. Well, maybe it’s time to try this Uber thing, so she got on the phone and soon had a car on the way. She paid for it right online, so no contact with the driver at all, which was perfect. She grabbed her purse and stuck her phone in it, got a light jacket for later or if the air conditioning was too cold and went out to wait. It really was a beautiful evening and Jewell was glad she’d come out. She took her mask out and put it on; it was made out of some quilting material she’d bought and still hadn’t used and was a floral black and white, so it matched everything she wore.

The car came within minutes and she gave the driver the name of the place she wanted to go, then sat back in the seat and enjoyed the drive, being pleasantly surprised at how clean the vehicle was. The driver tried to talk to her, but she just smiled and nodded at him and he gave up. He dropped her off at the front of the restaurant and she thanked him as she got out. He was smiling as he drove away, and it occurred to her that she was glad. Interesting. She decided on the spur of the moment to go into the bar and have a drink while she waited for a table, which was completely out of character for her.

Ce la vie, she thought, or maybe it should be Carpe diem - or - who cares? When the bartender came and took her order, she asked for a sloe gin with lots of 7-up and ice in a tall glass. He nodded as he turned around to start making her drink, then he set it on the bar and said, “That’s $5.00, ma’am”. Jewell was grateful she wasn’t taking a drink at the time, she’d have probably spit it out all over him. She gave him the money, thinking it’s no wonder she never went out. How people afforded to do it all the time was beyond her. She nearly went home and fixed some eggs, but there was no point wasting the expensive drink, so she sat and sipped it, pondering the little black book and her assignment, which seemed to be intertwined in some way.

After some time the waiter came and asked her if she would mind terribly sharing a table with another diner or it would be an hour before there was one for a single diner. This is getting surreal, she thought, but the waiter mentioned they'd pay for her dinner. Well, why not? It’s the closest thing she’d had to a date in...well, a long ass time. So she agreed to dining with the stranger who agreed to buy her food, thinking no further ahead than that. She scanned the tables as they went into the dining room for one with a single man at it, but they walked by them all. Jewell frowned to herself as she followed her waiter to a small table in the back, where a nice-looking woman sat waiting for her with a slight smile on her face. Jewell actually blushed, which made the woman smile a little wider, and they both laughed about it.

The woman introduced herself as Destiny and invited her to sit down, offering her a glass of wine from a bottle on the table. Jewell declined, saying she wasn’t much of a wine drinker and the subject was dropped. They chatted about what to order and then called the waiter over, and off he went to the kitchen, coming back out in a few minutes with their salads. While they ate they passed the time with small talk about their jobs and pets - she had a big dog named Michael, which seemed hilarious at the time it reminded her of the movie with John Travolta with angel wings. Destiny never exactly said what she did, just that she traveled a lot and was in town on business. They finished their dinner, and as she started to go, Destiny gave her a business card and said, “If you ever need me, call”, and she smiled and walked off to pay the bill.

Jewell stuck the card in her purse, left a few bucks on the table and went to the lounge to call for a ride. She didn’t see Destiny leave before her Uber showed up, which seemed kind of odd. Then it occurred to her that she probably had a room in the hotel, and put it out of her mind. Once in the car she took the card out of her bag and read it, which only took a second because there was only a phone number on the front, it was plain and had something hand-written on the back - “Thanks for the company”. Well, she thought, I feel the same way, and smiled.

When she got home she let Marigold out, kicked off her shoes and took off her bra, then got her tea out of the fridge and sat down at the table.

She finished a bowl from earlier and swallowed her bedtime meds with her tea. She took her empty glass to the sink and rinsed it out, then placed it in the dishwasher. She got coffee ready for morning, cleaned up the kitchen and let the cat back in for the night. Marigold led her to the food dish to get her lovings and Jewell went into the bathroom to pee, then to her bedroom where she disrobed, folding her clothes and laying them on the table by her bed. If the cat didn’t sleep on them, she’d wear them again tomorrow. She got into bed naked and shut off the light, then got back up to turn the fan on and lay back down again. She thought by now she’d remember that before getting into bed since she’d slept with a fan on her whole life...maybe she needed one with a remote. She lay on her back to stretch out her leg and relieve the pressure on her sciatic nerve, which gave her a while to do some thinking. She had actually enjoyed herself tonight, and came to the conclusion that the $5 drink had been worth it after all. She even found herself considering doing it again sometime, and told herself to put Destiny’s card away in a safe place. She drifted asleep thinking about it.

_______

Thanks to the alcohol she slept without tossing and turning, but she woke up groggy and her mouth tasted like poop. After she peed and got dressed (no cat hairs!) Jewell made the bed and went out to start the coffee. While it dripped she got her insulated mug out of the dishwasher - it hadn’t been run yet, but it was rinsed out well like everything else so no problemo. She only did the dishes about twice a week so she frequently used it unwashed. She got Marigold some fresh food and cleaned out the water dish, adding fresh water. The cat came running like she hadn’t eaten for a week, but stood there waiting to be petted before she began to eat her kibble. By now the coffee was ready and she got out the creamer and sugar and added 3 flowing teaspoons of sugar, then coffee to about three-fourths full, and topped it off with hazelnut creamer. She made the best coffee in the world, in her opinion; she smiled at the thought because of course she couldn’t know that, but she really didn’t like any other coffee.

Taking it with her, she sat down at her desk and booted up her computer, then combed her hair while she waited for it to come to life and ask for her PIN. She entered it without thinking and began to clean some weed for a nice morning-after bowl, filled it up and took a good pull and immediately choked on it. After she was done choking and spitting out icky green gunk, Jewell took out her rescue inhaler and used two puffs. In a few minutes she was good as new-ish, and went in to wash her face again and rinse her mouth. Sitting back down, she took a swig of coffee and logged into her google account, checked her emails and opened her docs.

Taking a much smaller hit off the pipe, she opened the draft she was working on for this assignment and blew out the smoke without choking- much better. Now that she was staring at the page, she suddenly remembered the black book. How wierd! There it was, right where she’d left it; if it had been a snake it would have bit her, so she slipped the book into a drawer for safe keeping. A failing memory was just one reason she’d quit drinking all those years ago… Anyway, she needed to write a story so she got to it. After a couple of hours sipping her coffee, smoking her ganja and pecking away at the keyboard she had a good rough draft. Marigold was meowing to come in so she got up to open the door for her, even though she didn’t recall letting her out this morning. Just then the cat rubbed against her leg and scared the daylights out of her, stopping her in her tracks. Jesus!

She stared at the door but no noise came from it now, so she sat back down and the cat jumped up in her lap. Jewell petted her and talked baby talk to her and it helped her calm down - not to mention the cat felt better too. Now she wanted out, but Jewell was a little leery about opening the door. Oh, quit being a weenie, she told herself, then she went to the door and opened it for Marigold. As usual, the cat sniffed the air and gave great consideration to going outside, which gave Jewell time to look around. She didn’t see anything out of the ordinary so she gave her a little boot to help her decide, then shut the door and returned to her desk. She was either hearing things now or it had been Marigold in the other room; neither explanation felt quite right but she had better things to do than sit and ponder a funny noise.

Going back to her desk, she sent the draft to her editor for review, then took her cup to the sink and rinsed it and put it in the dishwasher. It seemed like a really good time for a shower, so she grabbed some clean clothes and got in, washed and rinsed her hair and cleaned the important spots. She dried off and got dressed, hung up her towels and wash rag and cleaned out her ears. She knew they said not to, but never in all her years had she had an ear infection or wax build up. And she had nearly perfect hearing, even with the constant buzzing of tinnitus, so there you go. Besides, she hated the feeling of water in her ears, it was annoying, especially when it was slowly draining out. Yuck! Jewell sat down at her desk and combed her hair, throwing the loose ones into the trash. Hair today, gone tomorrow, she thought.

Like it or not, there were things she needed from the store, so she got her phone and opened her store list. It was one of several; there was a medications list, a logins list, a to-do list and a couple more. She started putting the items she wanted down in the order she would pick them up in the store - unless they changed things again; she really hated that! Better bring Marigold in, she thought, and got up to call her. Just then her phone rang, and when she answered, her editor was on the line telling her she had (already) read her draft and wanted to see the completed story in one week. Jewell said sure and hung up, thinking how strange to get a response so quick. It was usually a few days, but if it was that important she’d get right on it. Just as soon as she got back.

By now the cat was at the door so she let her in, they did their food routine, and she went out to her car. She unlocked the car with the key fob and got in, put the key in and turned it on until it completed its auto-check of the systems, then she turned the key over and started the vehicle and let it run. Then she put her purse in the console, her tea in the drink holder and her sunglasses on. When it reached idle she put on the seat belt and backed out, checking for cars and drove out of the parking lot. She’d learned not to try turning left against the traffic so she’d found a Walmart down a few miles to the right and she headed there, getting over into the left lane since she was going to be turning that way. In the store parking lot she circled around until finding a close space to park in, kicking herself for the umteenth time for not going to get a sticker. She got out her mask and put it on one ear (ready to go on all the way), slung her purse over her head so it hung diagonally across her body, got out and locked the car.

She went in and got a motorized cart, went through the store and got her items, picking up a little toy for Marigold. Maybe she’ll play with this one, she thought, and wondered again why she kept buying them. There was a small box of toys she had got her and the cat refused to acknowledge; one of these days she needed to take them out to the shelter, knowing even as she thought it she probably never would. That’s how it was, and she’d learned to accept it as a personal flaw; she had great intentions, but rarely made the time to make them a reality. Maybe now that she didn’t have to go into the office she could start doing more things like that. By now she was at her car and she unloaded her bags into the back seat on her side of the car, then took the cart back and walked back to her car again.

After she got the bags in the house, Jewell put everything away and tied the bags up and stuffed them into another bag with the rest of them - she used them to line the small trash cans she kept everywhere. She used whichever one was fullest to clean the cat box out each day, and they worked just fine for that. Now that she thought about it, she hadn’t done it yet today so she searched out the fullest trash and cleaned it out, putting a little deodorizer in the box and mixing it into the litter. As if on cue, Marigold came running and immediately took a crap, then asked to go outside. Shaking her head, Jewell walked to the door with her and let her out, wondering - not for the first - what made cats act the way they do. As she was taking the receipt out of her bag, a card fell out onto the table. It was the business card from the other night, and she took it over to the desk and set it down, hanging her purse up on the hook on the way over.

Sitting down, she wondered where she could put it so it was close, but out of the way. She opened a drawer and set it on the little black book, nodding her head in silent approval as she closed it again. She booted up the Alienware computer her daughter had outgrown; she’d used it for gaming and needed more power so she gave it to her. It worked just fine for her needs and she saved a ton of money. Her monitor was a 32” TV that she bought at Wallyworld for around $100 on sale, much less than an equivalent monitor. And her keyboard and mouse were from an older HP desktop she’d had for years before it quit turning on. So there you have it, a low dollar set-up that would cost literally thousands to replace today. Don’t fix it if it isn’t broken was her motto.

Opening her google docs, she opened the draft and read through it again to get the feel of it, and began editing it. When her coffee ran out, she exchanged it for tea, replacing her rinsed cup for the one in the dishwasher. It looked like she might have enough to run it later, and decided to get out some hamburger to thaw for supper. By then, she’ll have decided what to do with it, maybe even look online for something new. Right, back to it then, following words with deed. She typed away for the better part of the afternoon, grabbing some left-overs from the other day and munching on Lays (original only) here and there. Finally she sat back and loaded up a bowl, and remembered to use her inhaler before smoking it.

She printed it off, even though she hated to waste the ink, but she found it was easier to read and find typos that way. She read it front to back and vice versa, just like her college writing teacher had taught her to do, marking a few more edits she felt that it needed. She hung up the first page with redos on a document holder attached to her TV and went through them all until she was satisfied with the story and it was ready to send to her editor, who would also go through it with a fine-toothed comb to make sure there were no errors before sending it for publication in an upcoming edition. Nothing new about that, but she felt more connected to this story than usual. She felt a twinge of anxiety as she sent the final revision over to Laura, which was very odd considering their relationship of many years. They had worked together at various call-center jobs, becoming friends with weed, and indeed. And speaking of weed, she really needed some, so she finished the bowl she’d started earlier.

Feeling a little better and slightly revived, she decided to make a simple burger for supper, then she realized her last bun was moldy. After she threw it away Jewell decided to make a grilled cheese burger (AKA Patty Melt), and made the meat into a square patty a bit bigger than the bread. When her pan was heated up she placed the patty gently into the middle and put salt and pepper onit; McDonald’s secret recipe, she thought. That reminded her of her son because he told her that after working there, which made her smile. It sure was smelling good, so they must have gotten something right. It was also a bit of work because now she had to put the meat between two slices of bread with cheese on both sides and grill it. As she took it out and let it sit for a couple of minutes, she cleaned up the kitchen and put the dirty dishes into the dishwasher.

Using a fork and knife, Jewell worked that burger over until it was nothing but an enjoyable memory, and sat back for a bit before cleaning up. When the dishwasher was going she went to the living room part of her townhouse and sat back in her reclining loveseat, stashing her tea in the cup holder and turning on the news. She watched it while smoking an after-dinner bowl, bitching about some things, agreeing with others and not caring about the rest. Typical day, you might say. She turned it off before the next barrage of commercials started and grabbed her tea, closed the fold-down table back up into the loveseat and put her pipe in the pocket of her sweater.

Off she went to bed, and it took her no time at all to fall asleep. Around dawn, she started having really messed up dreams and began to toss and turn. She woke up and realized she had to pee in the worst way and barely made it to the toilet. Since it was almost 5 am she decided to stay up and get some house work done, such as wash the bedding she had sweated in last night. She grabbed everything off the bed except the pillows, which she de-cased and took them into the tiny, but efficient, laundry area in the utility room. When it was going Jewell went into the kitchen and started the coffee and got out the ‘fixin’s’, and while it brewed she cleaned a bowl to have with it. She took her morning pills with some tap water, and poured the rest down the sink. She set it by the sink because she hadn’t unloaded the dishwasher yet. And so it went, most days much the same as the last. It wasn’t that she couldn’t find plenty to do, just sometimes it got a little old, kind of like she was. Que sera, sera; whatever will be, will be.

________

Several weeks later she got a call from Laura, saying she had made a lunch reservation at a nice place nearby and she was buying. It wasn’t exactly an invitation, but Jewell was glad for a break in the monotony and agreed to meet her there about 11 am. She had time for a shower, and even shaved her legs, which rarely happened any more. But it felt nice under her leggings to have them smooth for a change and she wore a white pair today with a sleeveless black top that had a lace insert in the back and a butterfly hem, along with her standard white croc flip flops and hand-made mask. There was time yet to smoke on her bowl while she waited for the car Laura sent for her and wonder why she had arranged this meeting.

Now, sitting here with her editor/bestie across the table she found herself on edge as the waiter came, instinctively ordering her usual streak burger and garlic fries. As usual Laura tried to get her to try something different, but she politely declined and smiled about it. She sipped on her Pepsi, another pet-peeve of Laura - she felt that one should make going out an adventure in eating and drinking, and Jewell was cool with that, she was simply more comfortable having something she knew she loved. They had a lot to catch up on because it had been months since the last time they’d met, and they did that while they waited for the food to come.

After they had finished they ordered a small desert and picked at it, while Laura told her that the story she’d written about the little black book had been published. Jewell said “That’s cool, what edition will it be in?” and she answered her and said “It’s out now, here’s a copy” and handed her a strange editor’s choice-type magazine. Jewell looked at her with puzzlement but she just said “Take a look”. She picked it up and on the front page her story was listed as a first-place winner in some contest. Now she was really confused, and when she glanced up at her editor, she just nodded at the magazine. She opened it to the page listed on the front and read through the mag’s introduction which explained she had won first place in a contest, with a payout of $20,000.

Jewell instinctively reached for her pipe before realizing she wasn’t at home, took a drink of her pop and set it back down. “How? When? How?” and before she could blubber further, Laura slid an envelope over to her. She opened it and saw it was a copy of a deposit for $20,000 into the account money from work was deposited. Laura said, “I know you could use some money, and I also know you’re very independent and won’t accept charity, so I entered your story into the contest for you. You’re welcome, and I’m completely happy for you.” All Jewell could do was sit and let silent tears of joy trickle down her face.

“So what will you do with the money, my friend?” Laura asked. She said “You know, even though I wrote that story about that very subject, now that I have it I don’t know what to do, but I’m thinking. What are the chances I’ll be able to work from home indefinitely?” “I see no problem with that, you can even come in if you want to some days” Laura replied. Now Jewell smiled and said, “I think it’s time to move out of the city with my kitty.” “That sounds like a great idea! By the way, what ever happened to the little black book I sent you? I thought you might need a little inspiration.” Laughing, Jewell told her “It’s in a safe place. Thank you for everything.” They walked out together into the sunshine and hugged each other before going to separate cars.

Now, sitting at home the possibilities began marching through her mind, one after the other. She smoked her weed and let them flow, considering some and rejecting most. Finally, she called a realtor she knew and talked to her about selling the condo and buying a house in the country. Leslie knew her place well enough to give her a ball-park idea of it’s worth and what was available. While she waited to sell her place and find a new one, she donated all the cat toys and enough money to the shelter for a new inside play area for the cats. Her and Marigold went there now and then, the cat had great fun playing with them and Jewell loved to watch them.

Winning that contest had also given her fresh enthusiasm for some of her old projects, and she was determined to finish the book she’d begun twenty-some-odd years ago. Fresh ideas were coming to her all the time, and she recorded them on her phone’s app, soon having enough material to do just that, once she had time to do the dictation and revisions. Who knows, maybe people will read it and like it, it could happen.

Eventually she found the right place - an old two-story farmhouse that had been renovated and was close to everything, but far enough out you couldn’t hear or smell the city, and it had enough rooms for her kids to stay over when they visited. Marigold had plenty of room and the cat just loved running around the house and having a real yard to herself, if you didn’t count the wildlife - which was abundant. Her new office was large and had windows on two sides, and she'd splurged and bought all new furniture for it. It was ideal, and to celebrate she called Laura and the lady she’d shared a table with all those months ago for a dinner date; joking with them about having “A date with Destiny”.