A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

When I was a little girl, as most children, I was obsessed with fairy tales. Yet it seems fairy tales have changed throughout the centuries. They used to be cautionary tales to warn of the dangers in life; but now Disney churns out fairy tales primarily based on love. These stories romanticize how we view relationships; leading to dangerous ideas about how we view our love lives. I was raised on Cinderella, Snow White, and Sleeping Beauty. These stories filled me with a longing to find my own Prince Charming, no matter the cost.

When I was twenty-one, I met Samson. He seemed to be the guy of my dreams, and we quickly fell into an all-consuming relationship, it was too late when I realized he wasn't who I thought. Quickly he isolated me from my family, and friends. He convinced me I had no self-worth, and led me to believe he was the only one who would love me. I stayed with him because although he was physically and emotionally abusive, I thought he was the one. All of my previous knowledge of romanticized love stories, made me think that love was difficult and I had to endure hardship to have the love of my life.

After about two years, he broke up with me. This was the best thing that could have happened, as I was too broken to let go myself. When he disapeered I threw myself into school and work. I began reconnecting with friends, and I started writing again. When he came back several months later, trying to start a relationship again, luckily I was strong enough to push him away. He still reaches out to me, several years later.

This is where my tattoo comes in. I was obsessed with folk tales, the original versions that highlighted the dangers of people who wanted to hurt you. People who would say or do anything to trick you into doing what they wanted. Samson was one of those people, and Little Red Riding Hood was a reminder to be wary of wolves in sheep's clothing.

I'm sure we all know the tale of Little Red Riding Hood, there's versions of this story in several languages dating back to the 17th century. It's the story of a little girl who is on her way to deliver food to her sick grandmother. On her path through the woods she meets a wolf. The wolf does not scare her, he is very charming and polite. The wolf forms a plan, and beats little red to her grandmother's. There the wolf eats her grandmother, and pretends to be her, as little red comes in to the cabin. His goal is to eat her too, or defile her in some way. Each version is a little different, but the moral of the story is to be wary of charming strangers that might wish to hurt you. The story also highlights the naivety of childhood and the lessons we must learn to become wiser.

I wanted this tattoo as a reminder of the things people will do to hurt you. The two, eight hour sessions, physically engrained in me that I should be wary of charming strangers that might wish to take advantage of my good nature. Here is a photo after the first session:

This tattoo helped me heal from the pain Samson had caused. When I was under his spell he controlled my hands, my thoughts, my actions. I was choked and silenced, without words. Being with Samson revealed that my art was depressing, my dreams unattainable, and my life alienated. But at least our future together was probable and real. It was an emptiness that spread like brush fire, focal point: my heart. He enlightened me to the intricacies of love only to praise in my misery. But I fell happily into sin knowing there was a chance for me to be saved.

After we broke up, it took years to finally get over him. It took years to forget the terror he inflicted on my life. This tattoo is a reminder of how far I've come from that dark time in my life. It is a manifestation of my abuse, and a reminder to never let someone have control of me again.