6 Signs You've Found Your Person

Some of my earliest memories of music and media revolved around the concept of finding love. The prince finds the princess, the good guy gets the girl by the end of the song, and the heartbreak is eventually healed when the nerdy girl goes to prom with the jock, or whatever.

Taylor Swift’s lyrical composures have carried me through my years, offering relevant soundtracks for every beat of my pre-teen heart – one that was, rightfully, as obsessed with falling in love as the rest of the world around me.

The pressure that came along with societies standards for falling in love, and what love should look like, led me down a dark path of feeling pressured to feel a certain way about my partners, and then being convinced that there was something wrong with me for not feeling about them the way they felt about me. I am fortunate to have been loved very well in my past relationships, however, when I found myself unable to really match their affections – I turned inward and found myself feeling less-than.

How did she know she wanted to get married? How were they so sure they found their person? How can he really feel that way?

It’s taken some time, and a lot of heartache, but I can truly say that you just don’t get it until you GET IT.

Here’s how you know that you’ve finally found your person.

1.) You think of them before yourself.

In a lot of my partnerships, I found myself being a bit selfish. I knew what I brought to the table and I sort of felt as though the people I paired myself with were lucky to be with me. Now that I’ve found my person, I can’t imagine feeling that way, and find it insane that I ever have. I think about her before myself constantly. I am honored she even wants to talk to me every day let alone share a life with me. I want to know what I can do to make HER day better. I want her to know that she is always on the forefront of my mind.

2.) You have a big crush on them.

This is a big one. One thing my past partners used to tell me was that even after being together for a while, they still had a big fat crush on me. I was hit ‘em with an “awww, that’s so sweet” because I really felt as though it was, but then I’d later lament over the fact that I just didn’t feel the same way. Of course I loved them, but that crush phase was long gone, and maybe only lasted about 3 weeks tops. Here and now, I finally GET it. I have a big fat crush on my fiancé, and I feel those butterflies every single day. I can’t wait to see her when she gets home from work. I find myself flustered when she throws a wink in my direction. Every outfit she wears makes me swoon, every time I watch her enchant other people she talks to when we’re out, I am giddy over the fact that I get to stand by her side. I can't get enough of how she looks when she wakes up in the morning, and I'm shocked someone could wake up like that. I have the biggest crush on her, every moment of every day.

3.) You just want to make them laugh.

How could you not want to hear the person you love laugh? I know this seems obvious but, I really can’t remember ever feeling this way about anyone else. I want her to laugh constantly. I send her dumb memes and silly animal videos, I make silly comments, I act like an absolute goofball – whatever - if I can get a laugh, I am so stoked.

The right person will support your changes and shifts, and not expect you to stay the same for the rest of your life.

4.) You feel safe, free, and supported.

This one is MAJOR. When you’re finally in the right relationship, you don’t feel the need to hide things about yourself, or adjust who you are. The right person will make you feel safe and secure in your relationship, but also make you feel as though you can GROW, as humans are supposed to. The right person will support your changes and shifts, and not expect you to stay the same for the rest of your life. The right person will encourage your growth, and make the path to your goals easier. You won’t feel like you are something that they possess, but rather someone that inspires and encourages them to move forward as well.

5.) You miss them when they’re not around.

I’m not talking co-dependency here, and some time apart IS healthy for every relationship, but if your partner is away on a trip without you, and you are excited about the time away from them - you need to reassess your relationship. If the only time you feel like you can let loose and have a good time is when you’re having a solo hang-out with your friends, or go away on a trip without your partner, you aren’t in the right relationship.

6.) Their successes are your successes.

I’ve been in a handful of relationships that have left me convinced that if I never achieved another thing, the person I was with might be happier. I’ve experienced having achievements downplayed, every new connection criticized, and every new life venture scrutinized. When you’ve found your person, their success is YOUR success, and your success is theirs. You WANT to watch each other flourish, whatever that happens to look like at any given time.

Falling in love is always fun, and always feels good, but when it comes to sharing a life with someone, there's some key ingredients you need to really make it work.

If you've found yourself struggling to reciprocate or match your partner's feelings for you - there is nothing wrong with you, you just haven't found your person yet.