10 things I want to say before I die

by Anna Nguyễn 6 months ago in literature

(kinda stupid tbh)

10 things I want to say before I die

Umm...okay so I just wanted to get this off my chest and wrote a story specially dedicated to it, it's a vampire love story thingy. I know, it's very stupid but if you're trying to kill some time then...here we go:)))

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A Vampire's love?

Third person’s/Observer’s P.O.V:

One mystic night creature, standing alone in the windy nights, yearning for someone...to come back. It was the fifth day, everything was already passing the line for his limitation. The Blood Bond simply cannot withstand any longer. His wanting, longing of her face, of her heart, of her soul was intensifying each and every second now and then. he was afraid, he couldn’t take it anymore, and so...finding her that moment was his first priority.

Traveling from lands to lands, witnessing himself all the amazing things she’s done to make it a better place, to recover everything that he did. It was once to be catastrophic, until the fair maiden came and made what was supposed to be right-to be right. He was fascinated by her little actions, gestures, her incomparable beauty, her willingness of a warrior.

Yes, of course having any girl he wanted was a piece of cake, with his amazing looks and spectacular abilities, every cell, fiber, tissue inside him was perfect, yet the only one chosen was her, someone who gladly shook his in-beating frozen heart. Never have he felt so thrilling in the immortal life, as if he was being ripped by a super-being. Moreover, enjoying it was never his thing and he wouldn’t believe coming across with being a masochist. You remember that sensation? Frankly, no other woman could do that. Unknowingly, gratitude was the only thing that existed...He knew she was special, she was the one for him. And he was missing her with every ounce in his body. But where was his beauty?

Unfortunately, the girl decided to leave him. He was rejected, she didn’t want him. The only question that swirled up in his head was: “Why?”. Why did she run away from him? But your guess is as good as his. That un-beating heart-broken vampire demanded answers, asking, hitting himself over and over again, he thought of the obviousness in the story. Of course a young beautiful maiden like her would never accept him, a filthy creature in any way possible. But that wasn’t the case, because even if it was, she wouldn’t live, wouldn’t help when he’s in trouble. It took a whole 3 days for him to realize his mistake, how much pain he caused, and yet, she still loved a cunt. That was the answer which ran within his train of thoughts by the last thing she said:

“Thou agony and animosity was blinding thou eyes, all of the sins thou committed shall never reverse. All seven of them: Pride, Sloth, Greed, Envy, Wrath, Gluttony, Lust. The only way for thou can be forgiven is to go through the deadliest fear of thou life. Nothing is forever, nor nothing is coincidental(1), and so is my staying with thou. What shall happen, let it shall be.”

Finally at last, he reached his aimed destination. Wondering how he got there? Well, did you not know picking up her scent over 10 miles away was one of his daily hobbies. However, this was more challenging than that, which took him a week, but he did found her, nonetheless. Words cannot describe how happy he was to know the love of his life was okay (although I am quite against it) Unfortunately, seeing her from faraway was the only thing he could do. I mean it was just at her door so it’s not that bad but Devil-knew-what. Clouds of depression immediately appeared:

“What if she’s with another person? Has she forgotten about me?” negative-thinking was one of his other habits. He’s pessimistic, introverted, and she’s the total antonym for sure.

No wonders with: “Opposites attract each other” now, huh?

Coughing loudly, yes, he caught a cold. Who says vampires cannot be sick? Luckily, her estate was next to a vintage coffee shop and the girl pulled him inside regarding the fact that he might be dangerous.

Main female character’s/Heroine’s P.O.V:

It was another sleepless night for me, in which I felt terrible these past days, since I left him, but I’ve been through worse. Unconsciously, my head started remembering of him, that naive one I fell in love with. No matter if he’s a vampire, he still needed caring, yet, no one even dares to. How pitiful.

Suddenly, the air inside my bedroom became so tense, then it turned to being light, and kept changing as if trying to suffocate me. So with no other choice, I had to open the gold-trimmed windows and let the chilly breeze run in while looking out and down.

“Strange, who’d be here at this hour?” Wondering to myself, a little alarmed but tried to maintain my calmness when there was a shadow at my door. The figure was clothed all in black so making out the person’s face was really incomprehensible, whether if it was a male or female. All of a sudden, another presence pulled the silhouette away. For a split of a second, I managed to catch a glimpse of the yellow blond hair and a golden necklace dangling from the person’s neck. That familiar blond head, which I recognized. My best friend, (Y/b/f)!

Running fast down the manor’s stairs, the only sounds I could hear was of footsteps tapping on the wood, and the loud beating of my vigorously thumping heart. I didn’t care if I was in my sleeping gown, or if my hair was all messed up, my best friend’s safety might be threatened if she’s with that mysterious being.

I knocked down the coffee shop’s doors and made all attention turned towards me, there was only that clothed figure and (Y/b/f), she was handing a hot cup of chocolate, nothing that I expect from her generosity. Stomping a way towards the two, standing in a protective stance before (Y/b/f), that figure stood up and was about to leave when I grabbed the hand.

“What the hell!?” that was the first thing that came to my mind when I touched it. That familiar sensation still laid somewhere deep within my heart. But I knew better than anybody that some thoughts can’t be made into feelings, and some feelings can’t be translated into words, nor some words can’t be seen through actions(2). The cold hand I used to hold every night before going to sleep.

Hardly have I felt so confused in my entire life, what was happening left me with no idea. That time, I stepped in front of the stranger, blocking his path, my grip on the hand became way stronger than I expected to. The calls of (Y/b/f) were starting to go inaudible. Tilting my head to the side, eyebrows scrunched up together, face written clear with utmost curiosity:

“Who are you?” I asked softly, a bit nervous. Until then, I could only say that was a “he”, and not an “it”. We stood there for like forever, but it was only three minutes in real life. Wait, maybe, what if this isn’t real? What if I could sleep? But I was holding his hand so it couldn’t be, right? Well, he wasn’t going to answer anyways, and it looked like he had no intention nonetheless. So I invited myself so get that courage and reached out, to touch his necklace which got me wondering about from the beginning and my eyes widened in surprise. Wait a minute, this necklace...I-I-I gave this to my love...how could he?

“How did you get it!? Who the hell are you!!?” The words that came out were on fire, my voice laced with rage, my eyes desperately searching for a respond...But nothing came, I had enough, enough of this bullshit. Something was wrong, absolutely wrong, what was it? My hand started wondering to elsewhere, then, it landed on his cheek. Slowly caressing it, looking at him with pleading eyes. Who was him? Who the hell was this man? Having that necklace? Out of frustration, I pulled his hood off before he could stop me.

“W-What are y-you doing here?” I asked, shuttering. It was just...indescribable. More questions were lining up inside my head. How did he get here? A better one: How did he find me?...

On the contrary, (Y/b/f)’s mouth was agape and her eyes were disks “Y-You know this person?”

“if you’re already against the fact that I’m simply standing here...then I’ll leave”

“N-No, I-I didn’t mean it like that. Please stay.” I once again grabbed onto his hand and even himself seemed shocked by my actions. Well, I was even shocker.

“Please...leave me to take care of him. And thanks for letting him stay.” Saying to my best friend to let her know, she mumbled a small “okay” and nodded as a “goodbye”. That moment, I knew it was my cue to get out.

Inviting him to go in my place was a thing I thought I’d never actually do it again. But that time, I finally decided I had to face my own problems no matter what. I then turned to face him and saw he was getting quite uncomfortable. Must be since I was talking with myself for too long.

“Make yourself at home.” I gestured and poured him a cup of tea even though it was 2:00 am.

“Be my guest.” He didn’t take it, but kept looking down, as if afraid to look at me in the eye or something. So I lifted his chin up and was bewildered. It looked like as if he didn’t sleep in ages, considering the enormous bags under his obsidian eyes.

Third person’s/Observer’s P.O.V:

“How long have you not drunk blood?” Asked her in concern

“T-Twelve days...” Yeah, that was way pass the limit for a vampire to stand without blood...

“TWELVE DAYS!!? You said the longest time you could survive without blood is a week!!!” One thing for sure, she was worried sick. Pulling her sleeve down and brought his head to the neck, her porcelain skin seemed like to shine in the dark. She offered ever so sternly:

“Drink. Now.”

He refused at first but had to prevail at the sight of her anger.

“I’m serious right now. Drink from me. If you don’t, you will die. I never cannot bare to see that. This is no longer personal business, but the living or dead. Please, I beg you.”

For the first in in like...forever, she had her neck bitten that desperate, that harsh. He, on the other hand was trying to hold himself back, but who would when you saw your beloved? The brunette remembered that, the sounds of biting, sucking, even sometimes moaning, were the only ones that had existed in that haunted mansion except the lovely and flirty voice of those two.

“Don’t get used to it.” Felling dizzy, she tapped on his arm and he released her, licking away the last drops of blood remaining on the lips, fangs and neck. He then sat down on the luxury black couch and almost right away, looked at the brown-haired girl straight in the eye:

“You remember what I told you when we went on our first date? The only ways to kill a vampire is to take the head, or destroy the heart.”

Feeling weird, she raised an eyebrow. Why would he remind her of that? “Yeah, you did, so what about it?”

“Your desire is to kill me. Congrats, you’ve succeed.” Seeing her wearing a face full of nothing other than shock and mystification was actually surprisingly amusing.

“W-What do you mean?” Asked her in the most hesitant and reluctant tone.

“Do you have any idea how much pain I had to go through since you left!? It was thousands times worse than how you were burnt when we were at the Void. You said I had to go through the deadliest fear of my life. Did you not know the thing I fear the most is losing you?-“

She could only hear him until then. What the hell was that supposed to mean?! He, afraid of losing her?! That moment, even her cat felt humiliated for its owner which was awake at the time because of the black-haired vampire’s loud shouting.

“Why did you leave me? Was I not good enough for you!!? Did you leave me for another man!? I didn’t go out of my room, I destroyed it out of rage, I hate myself, I blame myself for not able to keep you, because I was not worthy enough!!! Would you think of me differently if I was a human !? Would you love me if I was!? I know I am filthy, a creature, a monster, I was made of everything bad in this damn world!” Agony was the only thing she saw in him that moment, nothing but hatred of himself. She couldn’t keep it in anymore:

“But you are also made of so many good things.” Gliding gingerly and reaching out, but that only made him back away in the fear of hurting her again.

“Then why did you leave me!!? Tell me, why!!? You don’t understand this! You don’t love me like how I love you-“

Mumbled a small “What” inside her mind.

“You don’t know how it feels to be trapped inside with all of these monsters, you don’t know what it’s like to have a voice inside your head telling you’re not good enough, that you don’t deserve to be with the one you treasure. You have no idea, you have no idea how much I love you.” He was crying at this point, he really couldn’t take it, it was too much to bare...and she understood...

“If only we were in one world only, if only we met at another place, in another time. I reassure you, if there’s afterlife...I will make it up for you every single little bit. You deserve someone better-“ He didn’t, more like didn’t finish his sentence considering the person standing in front of him cutting.

“How will I find someone better?! By leaving the best!?” Her eyes started to water, and that was a painful sight for the self-despise Romeo.

Sighing heavily, he really had no choice left turning his back away, wiping his salty blood tears “I can’t...I don’t deserve you...at least anymore.”

Finally the moment when regretful blacks orbs met sorrowful dark purple ones. Unconsciously, his lips curved up into a real smile, taking in the sight of his beauty one last time...

“...and so...I must leave.” Before could even take a step further, he was caught in a warm embrace as streams of wet tears flow down to soak his shirt for the first time.

“N-No...don’t-”...”-please...stay with me...I-I love you too..."

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Side note: Not every story have a happy ending, but not all have a bad one. Everything has it’s positive and negative. Exactly with the two, they learned so much, especially from each other. A traveler and a photographer, optimistic and pessimistic, trouble-maker and problem-solver, yin and yang. They are not independent, they depend on each other to survive.

But the problem is not there, why can’t just people forget the one they love the most? Attachment is what to blame. They somehow forget the things they should remember, and remember the things they should forget(3).

Author’s note: After reading this story, you’ll realize that even if there is a person called your “soulmate”, mountains do never rise without earthquakes(4), you still need to find that person, even if the chance is one over billions, go through everything that tears you two apart, and go out with an even stronger bond. That’s when you know, you’ve definitely found that special one.

But even a stranger can be your soulmate, nothing is permanent(5) in this world.

Remember, you cannot define if it’s black or white if you don’t try(6), and even if you did, keep in mind, nothing is good or bad, thinking makes it so(7).

Don’t expect people to respect and love you just because you did the same(8), you’ll be disappointed provided that you trust too much. It’s like praying a lion won’t eat you because you didn’t attack it. This society is captured in darkness(9)...be aware.

Whether if your choice of love is pure, obsessed, possessed, or even infatuation(lust)...

...There is still plenty to await... Yet, why is there so little to say, and so much more to hide(10)?

~The end

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(1)=>(10): Ten things I want to tell before I die

S0 that's the end of it, hope you guys enjoyed it. To be honest, I still felt that was a tad bit waaaaaaaaaay too stupid. Anyways, this was extracted from my Quotev.com account, so I hope you can support me there as well.

Picture source: Pinterest

Picture cre: Photograther-Nicole Burton; Parvana Photograthy Model-Houieda Chaymouni

literature
Anna Nguyễn
Anna Nguyễn
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Anna Nguyễn

Hi, I'm a creator here on Vocal and my hobbies are writing, reading, psychology, neurology and music.

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