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10 Signs a Woman Needs to Love Herself That Indicate Low Self-Esteem

Being confident is challenging. It fluctuates between high and low. Learn the symptoms of a woman who has poor self-esteem and assess your own levels.

By berry liPublished 2 years ago 5 min read

In order to support those who are important to us and ourselves, it is critical to be aware of the warning symptoms of low self-esteem in women.

We all struggle with low self-esteem at some point in our lives, whether we are teenagers, young adults, or in our forties or fifties. We frequently notice it. We wake up with a zit, have a horrible hair day, or just have a blah day.

But occasionally, we deceive ourselves into thinking we have high self-esteem when, in reality, we have poor self-esteem.

Being self-aware is crucial so that we can respond and take control of the situation.

Low self-esteem in a womanLow self-esteem is a lack of belief in yourself. And that can be for one aspect of your life or every one of them. Someone may be full of confidence at work but second guess themselves regarding relationships or vice versa.

Think back to your awkward years, perhaps in grade school. Maybe you had braces, bad skin, or wore your sibling’s old clothes. That time period may be something you look back on and see your low self-esteem waving like a flag.

But as you mature, low self-esteem becomes a bit more difficult to spot.

We grow in certain aspects of our lives and build up faith that we will be successful. And if we don’t, we at least act as if we do to get through the workweek.

That is why identifying low self-esteem in a woman can be difficult. We are taught not to show it, and it can actually come off as if we are conceited rather than struggling with our self-confidence.

The signs of low self-esteem in a woman

But, what does low self-esteem look like? Sure, it can be obvious. A woman may be down and question herself in every aspect of life. She may hate shopping, not put effort into her appearance, or try to set goals in her career.

Often, signs of low self-esteem in a woman are quite a bit more subtle.

1. A need for attention

Many women with low self-esteem crave attention in any way they can. That can be through the affection of men, stealing someone’s ideas at work, or crying at every office party.

We know it doesn’t sound good. Low self-esteem can lead to very neurotic behavior that is hard to describe. You may think someone who doesn’t think highly of themselves would simply change. It is not so easy.

2. A negative outlook

Yes, some women who lack self-confidence will desire for attention. Some people will focus only on the drawbacks of every circumstance. They will never explore the best case scenario; they will only focus on the negative.

They will go on a date anticipating a disastrous outcome. If they don't think they have a chance of getting the job they desire, they may have a bad attitude toward the interviewer and try to bring you down with them.

If you are going on a date, instead of saying “I’m excited for you,” they may say, “Good luck, hope you don’t have to sneak out of the bathroom window.”

3. Lack of motivation

Many confident women constantly set new objectives for themselves. They finish college, go to graduate school, and get a terrific career, but they have their sights set on an even greater position in a few years.

Someone with low self-esteem might continue working in a low-paying position that is beneath their ability because they lack the courage or conviction to believe they are capable of more.

4. A follower’s attitude

A sign of low self-esteem in a woman is following. A woman with low self-esteem may struggle to make her own choices. She will shop based on what someone she looks up to is wearing.

She will mimic others to try to better herself rather than owning who she is.

5. Self-sabotage

Low self-esteem is a tricky thing. It sounds easy to follow your life’s direction and appreciate any good things that come along. But someone with low self-esteem may unintentionally sabotage their own happiness.

Say a woman with low self-esteem is in a healthy relationship. She may subconsciously be afraid that her partner will leave her. So instead of talking to him about it or even looking at the facts, she may cause a fight or break up with him before he can hurt her.

6. Blame

People who struggle with low self-esteem frequently are unaware of their issues. They might even be denying the truth. Instead, they place the responsibility for their problems on others.

They might put the blame on their spouse for their happiness, their children for their careers, their parents for not getting a better education, etc.

7. Low standards

You’ve seen this all the time in movies. A girl puts up with a bunch of crappy boyfriends because she didn’t realize she deserved a guy who would respect her and appreciate her.

Her self-esteem was low, so she put up with crumbs when she deserves a stack of freshly baked cookies. You’d notice this same pattern in your own life as well.

8. Bullying

Ahhh… the sucker of all signs of low self-esteem in a woman, bullying. Sometimes high school never ends. Some women struggling with self-esteem issues take it out on others.

It could be women they are jealous of, women they see themselves in, or really anyone they feel they can get away with putting down.

This is nothing new. We always hear that bullies put others down to make themselves feel better. Of course, it is immature, childish, and not effective, but it still happens like it or not.

9. Laziness

Some people assume that women who put effort into their appearance must be struggling with low self-esteem. But, that is not always the case. Many women who wear makeup, are interested in fashion, etc., have a fair amount of confidence and let these interests show that off.

However, a sign of low self-esteem in a woman is laziness about her appearance. Of course, some women just don’t care or simply don’t have the time to, but low self-esteem can make you question why you should bother with things like makeup or fancy clothes.

10. Guilt

Saying “I’m sorry” is common for many women, especially women with low self-esteem. Low self-esteem can make you feel unwanted and unneeded.

If you interrupt a meeting to ask a question and apologize, you may be struggling with low self-esteem. Your question was likely very insightful, but for some reason, you felt the need to apologize for your place in that meeting.

The indications of low self-esteem in a woman might help you develop and become more confident. Or if a woman you know exhibits these symptoms, extending kindness or even just a simple complement will do the trick.


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