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10 Etiquette Mistakes You Didn’t Realize You Were Making until now

From the offbeat to the traditional faux-pas, these things are supremely annoying!

By Amy CottreauPublished 4 years ago 9 min read
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Image by Ryan Plomp on Unsplash

I am an empath and people are interesting to me. I love to people watch and analyze their mannerisms. I’ve seen some pretty appalling things over the years and I’ve seen this behavior from good people. We are human, so we make mistakes.

Our actions and words are who we are until people get to know us. Most of us may not realize it, but we can burn many bridges

It doesn’t matter if someone is a stranger or close friend, disrespect is disrespect. Eventually, people will tire of the little selfish actions that we consider to be insignificant.

Name dropping/ Talking about people the other person doesn’t know

This is my husband’s pet peeve. Name droppers are constantly mentioning who they know. Whether it’s a famous person they encountered or constantly talking about their friends you have never met.

Name dropping is something we do at least once in our lives but when we constantly talk about people the other person doesn’t know, it’s boring as hell. If you are always talking about all the celebrities you know, it makes you look like a “blow-hard”.

We don’t know these people so we have nothing to offer to the conversation but affirmatives. It’s basically a one-sided interaction.

One-sided conversations are tiresome and can even be a deal-breaker if you’re on a date or “first-time friend hang”.

Talking on your phone in specific public places

If you’re at a bus station, a mall, or a crowded place, cell phone use isn’t that annoying. It’s because of a little blessing I like to call ambient noise. Ambient noise blocks out individual noises so we don’t hear all about your gyno appointment or bad date.

Places that it’s not acceptable to use your phone: hospitals (quiet areas), emergency rooms, restaurants, and doctor's office waiting rooms. Basically, use common sense when selecting your conversation location.

If everyone can hear you, take it outside. If there are people in the vicinity who are unwell, be a compassionate person and talk about your problems somewhere else.

I was at the emergency room with chest pain a few weeks ago and this woman was having a full-on conversation on her phone across from me. I glared at her while clutching my chest until she ended her pointless conversation.

Talking on your phone in places like hospital waiting rooms doesn’t make you look important, it makes you look ignorant.

“One-downing”

I cover this subject extensively in my article “Sometimes Life Sucks, Can We Stop Making it a Competition?”. One-downing someone is the opposite of one-upping someone.

Basically, it’s when someone is venting about something in their life and the other person tells their own story but it’s much worse. They do this to invoke sympathy from the other person.

When a friend is choosing to vent to you, they need support and understanding. They do not need to feel sorry for you or to feel that their issue is not as important as yours.

That being said, giving an example or telling a small story so the person doesn’t feel alone is acceptable. However, try to avoid making the conversation about you. It’s not about you right now, your friend needs you and your empathetic ear to listen.

Going out when you’re miserable

If you are not in a good mood and go out with many friends, sometimes that bad energy can blanket the entire group. This brings everyone down.

We have all been at a social gathering and all of a sudden the mood changes. Things get a bit darker because someone is a bad drunk or a new arrival is in a bad mood.

Going out when you are in a really bad mood is not the great idea people portray it to be. This one is debatable, but from what I’ve witnessed, most of the time it doesn’t end well.

For some people, being around others when you’re down is the best medicine. However, if this is a bigger issue like a death or a break-up, it may be best to skip the night out this time. Especially, if it just happened. You could end up feeling more alone than if you stayed home by yourself.

Alternatively, you could invite a friend over who understands what you are going through. That being said, sometimes, it’s best to stay in alone, eat some good food, take a nice bath, and wait until you’re feeling a bit better before you bring your energy around others.

Talking about your ex on a date

There are appropriate times for talking about past relationships but the first few dates with someone new should be free and fun!

When we talk negatively or positively about an ex to someone who doesn't know us well, it sounds like there is still an emotional connection there.

I will always hate my ex with the passion of five thousand suns, but I waited to talk about that until things got serious with my now-husband.

Stick to happier topics: Common interests, hobbies, movies, your children, books, cosmos, weather, wine. The possibilities for good conversation are endless, so why talk about your stinky old ex?

Being painfully rude and considering it honesty

Tyra Banks said this quote on an episode of “America’s Next Top Model” and it will always stick with me:

“A lot of young girls think that the opposite of fake is rudeness. And just as ugly as fake is, so is saying whatever is on your mind because it’s the truth.”

It isn’t just young girls that do this, it’s people of all genders and ages. Sometimes it’s just best to nod and smile. Yes, some people do need a dose of reality from time to time but do you really need to be the person to give it to them?

I’ve always felt people who were painfully blunt were just masochists masquerading themselves as being helpful. Some people are just unkind, and they play the truth and honesty card to be mean.

I usually run the other way when I meet someone who self-identifies as a “blunt” person. That usually says to me that you have to say what you think and you don’t care if you hurt someone else’s feelings.

That’s not a good thing.

Being constantly late

When you are constantly late it is not a “personality quirk”. It is a lack of respect for other people’s time. Time is one of the most valuable things we have in our lives and when someone is always late, it is like they’re saying “My time is more valuable than yours”.

Rather you know it or not, you get a reputation as being unreliable when you are late all of the time. People who are late all of the time like to play it off as a joke but secretly their family and friends are probably fed up with their behavior.

This is not a cute personality flaw, it’s straight-up disrespectful.

Constantly checking your phone during social outings

Unless there is an emergency at home or work, your phone should be the last thing you’re worried about while out with your friends or family.

There’s nothing wrong with checking your messages or emails when your friend is going to the bathroom. I’m talking about the people whose hands are permanently on their phones. They’re nodding at you while scrolling obsessively through Facebook.

When someone is on their phone constantly when I am taking my time to hang with them, it says to me that I am not important to them. It says to me that Facebook or Instagram is more important than speaking to me.

When I am out with friends or family or even just watching a movie with my husband, my phone is charging in the other room.

“My people” mean more to me than my phone and that’s the way it should be. Phone obsession is a common situation but it doesn’t make it okay.

Not introducing your partner/friends to people you run into in public

We are all guilty of this one. You’re at the mall with your husband and run into a work friend. You and your friend get so engrossed in gossiping about Karen, that you forget your husband has been standing there for two long minutes without acknowledgment. This is not acceptable.

Introducing your partner or friend is the first thing you should do after saying hello to your acquaintance. We have all been that third person, standing there with a frozen smile, completely awkward, and not knowing what to do with our hands. It sucks!

When you ignore your partner or friend and fail to introduce him or her, it makes them feel like they aren’t important enough to acknowledge. It also makes them feel like a third wheel, not a good feeling. Two minutes of conversation can feel like 10 when you’re being ignored.

Interrupting conversations constantly

Some people have a hard time holding in what they have to say. I am like this after a few drinks. It’s not a good thing and it’s something I’m admittedly working on.

When you constantly interrupt people, it says to the other person in the conversation that they’re not worth listening to. We probably don’t think of our friends and family like that, however, that is how it comes off.

Practicing active listening will help us improve in this area.

Look outside of yourself to become more aware of those around you

My list is a little eccentric,but these are some things that I consider to be big social faux-pas.

I think many of us would benefit from stepping outside of ourselves and thinking about the feelings of others.

Being an empath, this is my life to a fault and I still make some of these mistakes from time to time. We are only human!

Don’t drive yourself crazy with this, but a little consideration for the people around you goes a long way.

People notice when you go the extra mile.

Amy Cottreau is a freelance writer who hails from a small city in Atlantic Canada. She enjoys interacting with fellow writers, dreaming of ideas for her next article, and researching a myriad of topics.

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About the Creator

Amy Cottreau

My name is Amy and I'm a wife, mother, and researcher of a myriad of topics!

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