We Never Left The Mountain

A Grey blanket of fog covers the road in which I have not found any end. I look for the mist to clear. In my search for the bottom of this blasted mountain, That you could have fooled me and said it was the sea, and I wouldn't know no difference….

Wilma. Dear sweet Wilma stands in the dewy doorway waiting. She contemplates in her head who will come to save her from the atrocities that break through the floodgates of her psyche. She looks out onto the patio where only a few steps off the porch, she would be in the vast wilderness in which she contemplates running into the arms of. A grand orchard of lofty pines with a thick embellishment of fog weaving in and out of the limbs like blood inside veins. Taller than any building you can find in a 60-mile radius.

She cringes at the touch of an unknown hand that graces her shoulder and caresses her down to her waist.

“Are you okay? You seem lost.”

Haar asked her in a concerning yet controlling tone, wishing he could tell what she was thinking.

As the cringe still sits prominently on her shoulders and into every orifice of her skin. She looks back into the wilderness as she gets ready to grab her bags and leave the rental home in which she rented for the weekend getaway that was rated “top choice amongst locals” With the noose around her neck she gets ready to jump from her fantasy back into the grave of reality in which she has buried herself so deeply and comfortably inside.

“Yeah, I'm okay. It's just really lovely out here. A lot different from home… you know?”

Haar looked at Wilma with a condescending face and an almost aggressive tone. Much like his usual tone.

“What's wrong with home?”

Before Wilma could get a consonant out. Haar, Like typical, interrupted with his own thoughts.

“We need to get going before the mist gets too bad and we won't be able to go down the mountain… I've had enough of cabins in the woods, any longer and we would end up getting cabin fever and killing each other hahaha”

Haar let out a laugh that was more truthful than he wanted to let on but meant completely. You see, Haar does not love Wilma. He loves the idea of who Wilma is, a cute young woman with no family. Leaving him to be the knight in shining armor to save her from herself, but he is no knight and he certainly isn't funny.

So into the car, they went, and down the mountain they proceeded. From 5,000 feet elevated in this mountain that held secrets that would soon be uncovered…..

The silence in the car became uncomfortable for Haar, as he could not bear the sound of hearing his own thoughts stab themselves into his brain like thunder, encapsulating him inside a storm. Gnashing his teeth together in the unbearable empty spaces that filled the vapors in the air. As he turned down each bend. He also turned his thoughts and conversed with Wilma.

“ I don't understand the appeal of being up here. It's too quiet. The people don't seem to be friendly either. I didn't see one person this whole weekend besides us..”

“ I think it's the silence that is quite alluring. I find it refreshing. Nobody to call to. Nobody to report to on Monday mornings. Nobody knocks on your door on Sunday asking if you have heard the good word of Jesus Christ?" Wilma confidently replied, even chuckling a bit.

“I think maybe you just don't like people…I could never live up here. I mean you can't even see the sky because it's so covered in mist. I'll just be happy to get off this mountain and back to the city.``

Wilma rolled her eyes and went back to facing the window. Where she lost herself in the mist. She found herself dreaming of a different life. A life where she didn't feel so bad about herself. A life where she didn't stay with someone who didn't love her and perhaps at one time loved the idea of her but ultimately was not in love with her. She wished she cared for herself in ways like this more. In ways that would ultimately make her stronger, but Wilma was weak and tired. Unable to push her futile fists in front of her face to avoid the punches of those who hurt her every day. That being herself at the top of the list. Wilma is worn out.

She turned on the radio so it would drown the silence enough between her and Haar so he wouldn't talk to her and she could just be left alone for the remainder of the ride.

“Right down the line” by Gerry Rafferty played as she could feel the mist pull itself into her. Inviting her to come sleep and be with her, and so she did. She slept peacefully and as delicate as the soft rain pellets that dropped on her windshield and acted as a lullaby, and the sweet melodic guitar strokes of Mr. Rafferty hummed into her head.

“You've been as constant as a Northern Star

The brightest light that shines

It's been you, woman

Right down the line……”

BOOM BOOM BOOM

Haar hit the steering wheel repeatedly shouting at the top of his lungs words that woke Wilma up from her sleeping spell.

“ 20 HOURS!”

“20 FUCKING HOURS!”

“Just fucking mist! Fucking so much mist!

In a panic induced by Haar, Wilma called to him, also now panicked.

“What! What!”

She looked out the window to see the time of day remained the same, the same mist that was there when she had fallen asleep, With the same trees, and the same mountain. Wilma, confused, Pegged her confusion to Haar.

“Are we still on the mountain?”

Haar looked at Wilma with a sinister stare and a sentence that brought Wilma shivers down her backside.

“ Wilma… don't you know we've been on this mountain?”

Confused, Wilma exclaimed.

“Why didn't you wake me up? You've just been going in circles this whole time?”

In silence, Wilma looked out to the horizon. In a slight clearing from the mist, Wilma could make out a welcome sign with the town name proudly ledged into the wooden marker. It read,

“Ceolúbra”

What stuck out to Wilma was what was next to the sign. About a 7-foot statue of a jester wearing viking style clothing. The head was cocked back and a deranged smile from cheek to cheek disturbingly sat on his mouth. What seemed more peculiar to Wilma was how the eyes on the statue were a glowing crimson red. Although she doesn't vividly remember the statue on their way up the mountain, she felt it was oddly familiar. Like she had seen it in a past life and was inviting her to learn more.

“Okay, see. The town is just up ahead. Let's just go back up and ask someone for directions.”

“That's not possible. I haven't been able to find the town since we left.” Haar frantically replied.

“Clam down. Maybe there was a road closure and nobody has been able to get down the mountain today… I'll message the rental hosts and ask them if we can stay the night tonight because of the closure. I'm sure they won't mind.”

Haar grabbed Wilmas' hand holding her cell phone. Nearly crushing her wrist.

“Yeah, let's try that….”

Jerking away from his grip, and now more eager to try her chances of finding help without haar, Wilma demands.

“ Pull over! The light is on in that building. I'll ask what's going on”

Wilma opened the car door and bundled herself into her flannel. The town square of the small mountain town was incredibly cozy. Housing an Emerald Belle gas station, a drug store, a small hotel/theater like building, and of course a small bar. These dated ramshackle buildings were the only thing barely visible in the mist. The streets were eerie as nobody, not even any cars could be seen. Wilma called out to anyone who would answer.

“Helloooo?”

“Me and my boyfriend were trying to go down the mountain, but I think the roads are closed!”

“Hello! My name is Wilma Eug!”

But no answer. She motioned to Haar that she would be going into the hotel.

He did not follow her.

Above the building was a large wooden sign that read the name of the peculiar little hotel “Wilmas Theater and Lodge ”. Oddly, Wilma looked at the sign now in even more confusion before She opened the French double doors to find that the lights were on in this strange little building. Built like an old-style saloon hotel. Lined in chocolate brown and onyx interior. An oddly shaped chandelier lined in old Gaelic writings hung barely on the ceiling. The front desk sat directly in front of the entrance. It looked like it hadn't seen a customer in quite some time.

Wilma peaked around at About 10 or so pictures on the wall showed the hotel throughout the years. Curiously she looked at each photo. It showed the inside of the hotel. Sticking out like a sore thumb in each picture was that recurring old statue that was next to the Ceolúbra sign. The same jester with glowing red eyes. What was even stranger was that Wilma was in every picture dating back to the opening of the hotel. Going as far back as 1790….

Terrified Wilma let out a gasp. Now more frantic in her search for some type of help. Any type of help.

“HELLO? Is anybody here?”

No answer yet again. Wilma brought out her phone to try to call someone, but yet another obstacle for a 21st-century world.

No service.

“GOD DAMMIT”

Wilma headed towards the double doors and back to the car to tell Haar of her lack of discovery. Until three rings of the front desk bell made her rethink her exit.

Frozen. Something stood behind her. Wilma hesitated as she turned around to see a man wearing tattered pants and a jacket to match.

The stranger shouted at the front desk with great desperation and lack of clarity in his melodic style, high-pitched sly voice.

“HELLO! HEHE”

“I'LL HAVE TWO SCOTCHES and your specialty WILMAS WHISKEY!!! HEHEHE”.

The man began crying at first and then let out his sinister laugh as he turned around to showcase what had turned Wilmas’ flushed rosy face into the color of snow itself.

“HAAR!!!??”

Haar who had been wandering the misty mountain for seemingly much longer than Wilma. Had become unhinged. Losing what he thought was Wilma but also his willpower to keep his sanity. His hair was to his shoulders and his clothes completely different from what he was last seen with Wilma. These clothes looked not of the time period, but 15th-century Europe, with what could be suspected as his own blood stained into nearly every part of the fabric with color. He was now trying to recollect who was in front of him. For this mountain is filled with delusions and a master of trickery.

“NO NO, you remember WILBA. NO NO WILLAMINA.NOOOO WILMAA.”

“WILMA Wilma once again you have fallen for my tricks. Wilma Wilma with the beautiful pale nips.”

Laughing like a deranged Jester he continued in his rhyming scheme.

“WILMA WILMA will she ever escape this maze?”

“WILMA WILMA or will she fall into a craze?”

Unhinged his laugh echoed through the hotel. He smothered her in his stench and eager arms. Holding on so tightly enough to crack her rib. Haar began to push himself on Wilma. Trying to kiss her pulling her back in harshly and starting to grope parts of her body aggressively.

“I've missed you so much you have had no idea. Wilma my love.”

“Haar, come on, stop it." " HAAR!"

Wilma pushed him off and looked at him with the audacity that he would try to touch her.

With now a great vengeance and anger in his voice. Haar revealed yet another shocking revelation about why they have yet to leave the mountain. While simultaneously scaling the sides of the hotel much like a spider stalking its prey.

“Poor Wilma, You really are naive to think you could get off this mountain without me finding you. Where the mist is. I am. Anywhere you go, anywhere you sleep or breathe. Every time you touch yourself, I will know where you are. Can you say the same for me? Of course, you can’t! Your soul belongs to me! Feeding my life of my specialty skills, storytelling, and imitation, and this so far has been my greatest story of all!!!”

Wilma, so petrified in fear. Cowered closer to the door. Until Haar corners her right where he desires.

“You really don't understand how in love I am with you Wilma. You see. Every other place has cast poor Haar out in the cold like an old chestnut. Waiting for me to fade out and die… Never appreciating my jokes and gabs, but not you Wilma my dear. When I stumbled into this bar nearly, jee! 300 years ago, I saw the way you laughed at my jokes. How cute! The way your eyes squint together in pure bliss and pleasure. I knew! I just simply knew you would be a part of my life forever! I LOVE YOU WILMA EUG. FOREVER MY BRIDE! It would blow your mind just how many times we have had this conversation and how many times I've wiped your memory just waiting for you to finally accept me for what I am. I’ll give you this, this is the quickest you've caught onto my little game of cat and mouse, but come onnnnnnn I can only wait so long Wilma. You should understand games are funnier with two people rather than one”

He licked Wilma with his devilishly freakishly large tongue from her chest to her ear, even licking up her nostril and plucking one of her boogers and eating it like a delicate whipped cream

Screaming and kicking Wilma pressed her fingernails deep into Haar's eye sockets. Like crushing blueberries, she kept until she heard a pop. Now the silence wasn't so empty as Haar wailed in pain.

She ran out the front door. Haar, screaming and laughing behind her.

“BRILLIANT! KEEP RUNNING WILMA!! I’LL CATCH UP!”

A shrieking laugh echoed behind Wilma as she ran.

Wilma looked around to see that the mist still fell over the town and the mountain. She ran to the car that had been overgrown by trees and shrubbery. She tried to open the door but to no avail. Even busting the window with a spare limb to push her efforts

Haar creeping up on an unsuspecting Wilma. His eyes, now were just 2 large craters dripping with blood. One of his eyes hung down just beside his nostril. Bobbing every time he walked. He reached towards an unsuspecting Wilma who so desperately just wanted to get away from this dreaded mountain. He wrapped his hands around her neck and proceeded to squeeze like he was trying to get the last bit of toothpaste out of the jar.

A shrieking violet.

She fought.

She kicked.

She tried to scream to an empty town, but the fog digested her screams, and Haar digested her….

“Rest assured sweet Wilma. I’ll never give up on you. I'll wait and play this game as long as it takes until you see things the way I do. Until then rest for now”

~

“Are you okay? You seem lost” Haar's voice traveled through the cabin.

Wilma standing in that dewy doorway again with a tear dripping down her traumatized face. She cringes at Haar's touch behind her.

Mouth agape she faces towards him to see they are both back in the cabin where our story first starts.

“Wilma, what's wrong?”

Slowly she walked to the kitchen counter and grabbed the largest blade she could find. Slowly walking back towards the door. Breathing heavily and crying silent tears to herself.

“Wilma! Do you see someone??”

In a single spin. With eyes bulging out of her head. Enough to make bugs cower. She slit Haars’ throat with one slick motion. Gushing blood like a sprinkler all over her body and the doorway. Pushing his body to the floor like a sack of potatoes and stabbing him repeatedly. His eyes glowing red from his blood and the knife going in and out of his skin like a needle going into soft bread.

“BRAVA WILMA! I CANT WAIT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!” spitting up blood and cackling amongst himself to each thrust of Wilmas' blade

Wilma, now the one laughing. Drenched in her ex-lovers' blood. She grabbed the keys from his leaky carcass and proceeded to the car. She turned the radio up as loud as the stereo and bass would go.

“Right down the line” by Gerry Rafferty

The engine didn't start...

It sang, and so did Wilma

“I just want to say this is my way

Of tellin' you everything

I could never say before

Yeah, this is my way of tellin' you

That every day I'm lovin' you so much more”

Laughing so uncontrollably that when she reached the main road to take her down to the bottom, poor Wilma, lunacy run a muck, didn't realize that she had completely failed to turn correctly on the bend and ended up driving right off the edge of the mountain.

Laughing and screaming.

Screaming and laughing.

Wilma flung to her death down the misty mountain. Until she felt a sharp exploding pain enter in brain. Bringing her back to the cabin. Once again where our folly starts.

~

Smacking his lips together in a mocking tone “THAT WAS EXCITING WASN'T IT WILMA! I think that has been my favorite escape attempt yet. Quite brilliant if you ask me hahah. I told you, Wilma! You. Can’t. Leave. This. Mountain. Now I have a couple of ideas about some other ideas that would be GENIUSSS to try! What do you say?”.

Haar looked at Wilma. Seemingly pleased with a crooked jack-o-lantern smile.

Wilma, defeated, accepted her fate that she would never be allowed to leave this mountain. That she would be stuck for eternity amongst the trees and the thick mist. A mere puppet on a stage fated to perform for eternity never-ending follies..under the control of her puppetmaster, Haar Bodach, the trickster of Mount Ceolúbra

Wilma once more looked up back into that haze of lofty pines and weaving mist, and oh boy did she have quite the laugh…