The Space

The frigid air fills everything here. It fills your lungs, starting at your lips and sharply diving into what feels like empty space behind your belly button. You have on a hat, but the air slips underneath it and into your ears. You hear the crunch of the frost beneath your feet with a clarity that you've only ever experienced during the night. Listening to only that for a while, you just walk. A glance over your shoulder every few steps to make sure nothing is following you. Then, your mind wanders, as it tends to:

"If I have the right to walk under the cover of night then so does anyone (or anything) else. What a silly proposition. That in this entire cold, dark world I don't want anyone else to be here."

But you really didn't want anyone else to be here. Without a destination or a goal in mind, you could enjoy the risks of walking alone in the dark. The cold air sets your body on fire, and it feels as if you could walk for miles. This was the best time to think. What to think about? *glance* You think about being alive. You can feel the crispness of the world on your cheeks, but especially on your nose because it sticks out farther. If you were with a group of people in this weather, you probably wouldn't notice these details. Instead, you would be complaining about how cold it is. You believe people do this just to fill The Space around them with a voice. *glance* In groups of people, The Space is sharp, and it pokes each person until someone speaks up. By yourself, The Space is vast and soft, and it tells you it's ok to be quiet. You are silent because you feel the latter.

*glance*

No one is there, but you feel eyes. Looking around some more, you take in your surroundings. The moon is now high above you, and it seems to discredit artificial light. Your eyes evenly scan the shimmering frost on the grass and follow it all the way to the barn. Even this decrepit structure held the moonlight in its details. As you approach the doors, a fragment of yellow flashes in your peripheral vision. You tense and pause for a moment. It moves again! Before you can muster up the courage to investigate, a small coo. You exhale with relief. A barn owl! As you search for the source, a pair of bright, yellow eyes swivel towards you. No, not towards you, at you. Yellow has always been your favorite color, but in this moment, it doesn't feel docile enough. The moonlight isn't your guide anymore, it is the owl's instigator. You stand like this for a while, trying to tell your body to move, but you're frozen. The air has crept under your shirt now and wrapped itself around your arms. Each hair stands on end, poking and prodding at you to say something because, otherwise, what will fill The Space?

"Ugh, this barn is so creepy."

*glance*

"I really should be getting back now."

On the walk back, your desire to savor the details is gone. Your nose is dripping, so you wipe at it awkwardly. Your breaths are shallow and uneven. The shimmer of the grass is hard to make out with the wind making your eyes water. The crunch beneath your feet has an echo, does it not?

*glance*

You wish one of your friends was here to walk with you so that you could talk about how cold it is.