Short Horror Reviews: R.L. Stine's Rainy Night Theater

As a young bookworm and budding horror fanatic, R.L. Stine was a staple of my literary childhood. There was a time when I had an impressive collection of Goosebumps books, and Fear Street later became my go-to series for scary stories. So as you can imagine, the fact that a trilogy film adaptation of the latter series is slated to start next year has me excited. But until then, I'll be celebrating Halloween by taking a look at another series courtesy of my boyhood idol: Rainy Night Theater, a series of audio horror tales akin to his written works. So turn out the lights, chow down on some Halloween candy, and let's have a listen!

Do Some Damage!:

In a story that sounds like an unused idea for a Goosebumps book, Nick Stafford (David Rigo) becomes fascinated by the prehistoric dinosaur egg his scientist mother brings home to study. But when he decides to look at it himself with his friend Adam (George Kareman), things get more than a little crazy. Like the best stories in the Goosebumps library, Do Some Damage! has the potential to be a truly horrifying story. Once the egg incident happens and causes adverse effects on Nick and Adam, it would seem we're in for some nice "And I Must Scream" or body horror action.

But unfortunately, the mine of creativity this tale presents is left untouched. Instead, it's your basic YA horror fare with an easy-to-predict twist. SPOILER ALERT The ending is also hit with a plot hole: why do Nick and Adam suddenly revert to their monster forms after apparently getting out of them long enough to talk to Nick's mother? Though on that note, all three of the voice actors for Do Some Damage! do solid (though not terribly frightening) work with their "monster" voices. Spoilers Over But it's in the story's physical execution that Do Some Damage! becomes a fairly fun listen despite the missed opportunity. The intense music and sound effects draw you in as Nick and Adam's exploration goes awry, and David Rigo sells Nick's terror as the story goes on. George Kareman is similarly effective as Adam and Alison Fraser's voice is perfect for Nick's playful scientist mother. It may not make your skin prickle as much as it could have, but this Goosebumps-esque story is still a worthy Halloween night listen.

Score: 6.5 out of 10 dark speckles.

Don't Open The Box:

In a considerably darker story, Don't Open The Box follows Kevin (Colin Donnell) after he receives a present from his uncle Edgar (Todd Sussman) with a bizarre instruction: don't open the gift. But will his curiosity and the goading of his cousin Monica (Patti Murin) drive Kevin to sneak a peek? While an incredibly simple plot, Don't Open The Box is effectively unnerving once you reach the end and can consider everything at play. SPOILER ALERT In addition to the obvious horror of a child being mutilated by an alien, you have an uncle either careless or thoughtless enough to give a violent gift-wrapped creature to said child and a girl implied to have set her own cousin up to get injured so she could take his place on a space excursion. And while she gets her just desserts in the end, the fact that Edgar would sic another extraterrestrial beast of an adolescent is still unsettling. Spoilers Over

With all the Fridge Horror going on, Don't Open The Box's simplistic premise is reinvigorated by lowkey nightmare fuel. As for aesthetics, though, it's a step below Do Some Damage!. The sound design isn't as attention-grabbing, with the peppy pop music that plays in parts of the story feeling very out-of-place. And while husband-wife duo Colin Donnell and Patti Murin give overall strong performances in their differing characters, neither are all that convincing during Kevin and Monica's respective emotional high points (of the two, Murin comes the closest to sounding authentic). So essentially, Don't Open The Box is the inverse of Do Some Damage!: very strong in story, less so in execution. But with a more creative and unnerving story sure to raise disturbing questions, Don't Open The Box is still a scary chestnut you should open this Halloween.

Score: 7.5 out of 10 science projects.

Curse of the Smiling Mummy:

A school field trip to the museum takes a turn for the terrifying for friends David and Amy (Damian Acosta and Jennifer Hildner) when one of Amy's pranks awakens the spirit of the museum's newest mummy. Now this is a story that fits the Goosebumps aesthetic to the letter. An everyman (or in this case, everychild) protagonist, a prankster best friend, and a zanily spooky situation they end up in together. Fitting of its slightly goofy title, Curse of the Smiling Mummy has a much more lighthearted tone than previous entries on the Rainy Night Theater roster.

But unlike Do Some Damage! (where the dark premise is at odds with the lack of utilization of that scariness), Curse of the Smiling Mummy works well with its lighter mood. The action keeps you listening, and both Damian Acosta and Jennifer Hildner give excellent audio performances. Hildner in particular gives the perfect voice to match Amy's wacky and irresponsible personality. The "climax" also struck me as appropriately funny and surprisingly heartwarming. It may not be scare-your-pants-off frightening, but Curse of the Smiling Mummy will surely provide some Halloween-y chuckles once the spooky action ends.

Score: 7.5 out of 10 bubbling tar pits.

Can You Keep a Secret?:

Halloween in Grover Falls is much scarier--and more dangerous--this year thanks to a series of fatal werewolf attacks. But Danny (George Kareman) and his friends Jenny (Sherry Stregack) and Gerard (Barron Anthony) don't intend to let this stop them from trick-or-treating. But they may just come to regret this decision. Ironic that I should be reviewing Can You Keep a Secret? now of all times. The ideas of Halloween being canceled for the public's safety and people being willing to expose themselves to danger for the sake of having fun hit a whole lot harder in a COVID-19 era.

(SPOILER ALERT To keep with the COVID allegory, that makes the fact that the story ends with the photographer and (possibly) Danny and Jenny dying because they prioritized their respective desires--a photograph of werewolf Gerard and one last night of trick-or-treating--over their safety very topical. Maybe Stine can start using this story as a message to people who are still not taking this pandemic seriously. Spoilers Over

It's also ironic that this story should feel so much like Stine's Fear Street series, given how it shares a title with a book from the series' revival. With explicit references to murder, I would imagine a story like this might be too much for Stine's Goosebumps audience. While I have fond memories of Can You Keep a Secret?, this revisit exposes some faults. While the story has scary potential, a lot of it feels unused. SPOILER ALERT Not only is Gerard's werewolf reveal very easy to see coming (it would've made for a more surprising twist if Danny or Jenny were the culprit), but the truth behind suspicious neighbor Mr. Waring was incredibly lame. Not only does his reveal as an impossibly dense and reckless photographer feel like a cop-out, but it also comes at the expense of a more dramatic revelation. Spoilers Over

Production-wise, the music is appropriately foreboding and makes the predictable story fun. George Kareman gives another solid performance alongside his co-stars, though Sherry Stregack's delivery tends to get too melodramatic for its own good. Steve Perlmutter also deserves some additional credit for his performance as the newscaster; the breaking news segments of the story bring a sense of dread and urgency to the escalating violence surrounding Grover Falls. The story is far from perfect and drags down what could've been a spooky Halloween-set tale, but for what it gets right, Can You Keep a Secret? still makes for a good late-night listen.

Score: 5 out of 10 stolen sweaters.

Lucky at Cards:

Nick's (Bobby Hodgson) luck takes a turn for the worse the night his friend Taylor (Jennifer Hildner) convinces him to visit a fortuneteller. Could it really be true that there's evil inside Nick? Lucky at Cards is similar to Don't Open The Box, in that it's scary more for its subtleties than for its overt terrors. A seemingly silly visit to a fortuneteller leading a young man to believe there's evil in him is a horrific concept. A combination of strong voice acting and music bring this bone-chilling idea to life, with the final moments bringing things to a head after a tantalizing build-up.

But what makes Lucky at Cards even more terrifying than Don't Open The Box is how ambiguous it is about the "evil" in Nick and what could happen because of it. SPOILER ALERT Things are left so ambiguous that you can't discount the possibility that Nick is right about Taylor and Madam Rosa trying to trick him so Taylor could go to New York in his place. It's an idea just as scary and sad as the former idea, as it suggests an adult woman and her niece (Nick's so-called "best friend") conspired to make a kid think he was evil just so the latter could get a trip to New York. Spoilers Over Bobby Hodgson gives aching sincerity to Nick's fear, and Jennifer Hildner works well with her more enigmatic character. Cheryl Orsini is the definite cast standout, however, giving a perfect performance as a cryptically histrionic psychic. With a dually unsettling premise brought to life by an excellent cast, Lucky at Cards deals Rainy Night Theater a stellar hand.

Score: 8 out of 10 jangling bracelets.

Welcome to My Nightmare:

Everyone has nightmares sometimes. But for Julie (Briana Packen), this might be one nightmare she can't wake up from. While Welcome to My Nightmare can be summarized as a Goosebumps-esque take on A Nightmare on Elm Street, it still stands out as one of the more enthralling entries in the Rainy Night Theater catalog. Of the voice actors featured on this list, Briana Packen is the most emotive thus far. As Julie finds herself in an increasingly bizarre and frightening nightmare, Packen throws herself into Julie's desperation and terror. Even though we learn nothing about Julie before she's thrown into her nightmare, Packen makes Julie an effortlessly sympathetic character entirely through her voice.

Stine writes a spectacularly gross nightmare for Julie to go through, and Sam Waterbury plays well off of Packen as nightmare creature Jeff. Overall, Welcome to My Nightmare packs a lot of punch in such a short runtime and makes for a creative and engaging horror story. And like A Nightmare on Elm Street, it tells the story of a frightening scenario that might make you a little worried about going to bed afterward...

Score: 9 out of 10 omelets.

The Head Start:

Ashlee (Libby Conkle) thought her visit with her cousin Donny (George Kareman) would be a blast. But after she and Donny discover a shocking secret, her family visit is about to take a disturbing turn. While the music that opens The Head Start is similar to the opening tune from Don't Open The Box, it's not nearly as distracting. The Head Start also replicates Don't Open The Box when it comes to being a dark story--though in this case, that darkness is at the forefront rather than hidden in subtext.

The Head Start is not the first Stine work I've seen play with the premise of a child's parents being the source of their scary situation. Like those past works, The Head Start works well with that tragically real horror. George Kareman throws himself into Donny's fear at learning his family's dark secret, with Libby Conkle playing off him as the more stable-headed protagonist. SPOILER ALERT Quinn Cassavale takes the cake for best performance, though. She perfectly captures Aunt Lucy's boisterous attitude in the first half, and absolutely nails Lucy's unnerving werewolf transformation. Though in order for The Head Start's alarming twist and ending to happen, you'll have to stomach that Uncle Frank would not warn his son and niece about Lucy or try to stop them from going after her. The only way I could see this behavior making sense would be if Frank had been revealed as an accomplice in Lucy's werewolf attacks. Spoilers Over

Despite the issue addressed in the Spoiler section, The Head Start is another terrifying Rainy Night Theater piece perfect for watching on a dark night with the lights out. With excellent talent to bolster its chilling tale of a violent family secret, The Head Start is bound to be a scary story that lingers on the mind for one reason or another.

Score: 8.5 out of 10 frisbee dodgeball games.

How to Color a Monster:

Siblings James and Mary (Sean McGaughan and Tara Carozza) didn't believe in monsters. But a trip to their grandmother's mansion and a seemingly ordinary coloring book are about to change that. How to Color a Monster shares a lot in common with the similarly titled Goosebumps book How to Kill a Monster. Both share the same basic premise: two siblings get bored visiting their grandparents' house, only to wind up in combat when a monster invades their home. But thankfully, Stine takes the one big difference How to Color a Monster has over its Goosebumps predecessor (the coloring book) and runs with it to create a unique story out of a familiar premise.

The main story doesn't take too long to get started, and once it does, it will have you engaged as James, Mary, and their grandmother fight against the monsters that begin terrorizing their house. The voice actors behind the monsters do a great job, as does Tara Carozza at voicing Mary. Sean McGaughan, however, feels a lot stiffer voicing James, with his deep voice being at odds with his adolescent character. Stephanie Kronenberg brings an ideal mix of grandmotherly warmth and authority to her performance, while SPOILER ALERT Matt Stine (son of R.L. Stine) steals the show as the resurrected grandfather. Not only does he effectively make his voice sound like that of an undead man, but he gives a perfectly hammy performance as the story wraps up on a comedically dark note. It leaves you wondering if this grandfather is just a little eccentric from being brought back to life--or if there's some other sinister reason for his behavior and his wife's reaction to seeing him alive again. Spoilers Over

While the story behind How to Color a Monster is short and simple, its execution is what gives it charm. The strong voice acting, consistent action, and an unexpectedly twisted ending will give you a lot to enjoy. If you're in the mood for a solid monster story, curl up under the covers and have a listen to How to Color a Monster.

Score: 7.5 out of 10 stacks of magazines.

The Terror After School:

Emmy (Liana Stampur) and her friends Lexi and Johnny (Jillian Sanders and Colin McAdoo) are always getting kept after school for their frequent pranks. But tonight, the trio begins to think they've been left at the school...and that they might be in for a punishment more severe than they anticipated. As we approach the final entry of this podcast series, we get to the least appealing story of Rainy Night Theater. It's not a good sign when your story begins with entitled adolescent pranksters whining about being punished for their behavior. But what's worse is that, ultimately, The Terror After School is pretty devoid of any actual...terror.

Even as the kids find themselves confronted by a seemingly delusional teacher (voiced with histrionic gusto by David Light) looking to harm them, there's no real suspense or fear since you'll likely not really care what happens to bratty Emmy or her equally nasty friends. Plus, there's barely any room between this teacher's introduction and the twist reveal, leaving little room for the "climax" to breathe. SPOILER ALERT As for the twist robot reveals, neither make that much of an impact. While Mr. Portis's reveal and subsequent shutdown might elicit a bit of sadness, Emmy's doesn't have the same ring to it. While she gets one stab at character development by referring to her testing job as cruel to the robots being tested, she's ultimately too snide and bratty to make seeing her get shut down all that upsetting. Though the Emmy twist does make me wonder more about what kind of school this is if they have robotic teachers and students running around... Spoilers Over

Nevertheless, The Terror After School is definitely the least frightening segment of the Rainy Night Theater series. The pacing is off, the main characters are annoying, and most importantly, it doesn't have the scary fun that makes R.L. Stine's work so entertaining. Overall, I'd say listening to The Terror After School is about as fun as actually having detention.

Score: 3 out of 10 glued briefcases.

The Kid Behind the Door:

In the final entry of Rainy Night Theater, sisters Sam and Monica (Jillian Sanders and Kari Geddes) are sent by their parents to visit their aunt Rhonda (Quinn Cassavale). When they get there, though, their aunt has a strange rule: don't go into Dougie's bedroom. Curious as to who Dougie is and why he never leaves his room, the sisters venture inside--and that's when the trouble begins. The Kid Behind the Door sounds like it has a simplistic plot, and at first, it does. Two kids going to a strange relative's home and encountering an evil creature is certainly not new for Stine's repertoire.

But just when it seems you're in for an average story, the final moments throw a unique twist into the mix. It gives The Kid Behind the Door some additional flavor before ending on a high note. And like some of the other high-marked audio-stories on this list, the aforementioned twist brings an even more disturbing subtext to the action. So many unnerving questions are left for the listener to ponder. SPOILER ALERT What other sick plans did Rhonda have in store for Sam and Monica? Did their parents know about Rhonda's intentions? Will the girls have to face consequences for killing their would-be captor? And is "Dougie" still out there, free to continue his ravenous rampage? While Sam and Monica's story seemingly ends on a happy note, these unanswered questions leave you to wonder if that'll really be true in the long run. Spoilers Over

The voice acting is (for the most part) just as good as the other strong entries on this list. Jillian Sanders and Keri Geddes give mostly solid performances as Sam and Monica, though they do slip when it comes to their characters' most intense moments. Even as the girls are facing a potentially deadly situation, Sanders and Geddes don't make them sound realistically scared. Quinn Cassavale gives another excellent performance as a peculiar aunt, and Baird Wallace is excellent in his own right as Dougie--before and after his secret is revealed. And with an ending that ties everything together quite nicely, The Kid Behind the Door acts as an appropriate finale for Rainy Night Theater (as of writing this).

Score: 8 out of 10 chihuahuas.

Overall:

Looking back at R.L. Stine's Rainy Night Theater series through the eyes of a film blogger exposed some flaws that I originally overlooked thanks to nostalgia. Can You Keep A Secret?'s major stumbles were especially surprising, since I remember previously thinking it a highlight of the collection. Meanwhile, Welcome to My Nightmare stands as the highest marked of the series after I previously regarded it as forgettable. But for the most part, Rainy Night Theater still holds up as a solid array of spooky stories that showcase Stine's strengths at writing YA horror fiction and why he's become such a big name in the genre.

I could see horror-loving listeners both young and old enjoying this podcast series, especially if you're a fan of Stine's work like I am. To listen to these stories for yourself, visit the Rainy Night Theater section on R.L. Stine's website, or you can check them out on either Apple Podcasts or SoundCloud. Hopefully, R.L. Stine and his son Matt (who was responsible for producing and directing Rainy Night Theater, as well as doing the music and sound design for the podcast) will eventually revisit the series and add some more chilling stories to the collection. Until then, happy listening and have a fun (and safe) Halloween!