Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'The Disappointment Room' (2016)
The riffing will not disappoint.
This had to be the most appropriately named movie of all time. You, too, can have a room full of disappointments, your living room, as you watch this total riff fest.
We didn't stop harping on the title either. You'd think throwing around that name of the movie into its different plot devices would eventually get old, and you'd be wrong. "Oh, the kid's acting up, tell him to go to his... disappointment room!" Even when the movie title pops up in the movie, this still didn't get old.
It did kind of give the tone of the riffing a bit of a downturn when we did some research and discovered that "disappointment rooms" were real things. Apparently, they were for rich snobs who wanted to hide children born out of wedlock or with obvious deformities. That's pretty fucked up, but it was still funny to riff on though...
The atmosphere was surprisingly bland for a haunted house movie that takes place in an old mansion. It's a little too bright and a little too inviting at times. The acting is pretty stellar, even for regular Hollywood; the child actor was even okay. The plot is easy to follow, even if a bit predictable, and the story is actually pretty good—though they fuck it up at the end.
So, here’s the thing. I technically CAN recommend this movie if you like watching a horror flick you only intend to make fun of. Riffable movies like this are rare and beautiful if you’re into that sort of thing. I had a ton of fun watching and making fun of it and maybe you will, too.
Is Kate's character crazy from the grief of accidentally smothering her newborn, or is the house haunted?! C'mon, this crap again? Does every new haunting movie have to lean on whether or not the main charter is crazy? And it doesn't even work, because clearly something is going on in the fucking house.
I mean it's obviously something is going on other than just insanity. Not that a little insanity isn't involved and not that this doesn't work to the advantage of the plot. But we all know that the kid was talking to the cat, and that the cat was mutilated by some evil ghost dog. This was completely independent of the rest of the plot. It's not even the only thing that the kid interacts with in the movie. So you know something is going on separate of Kate's character. The question is simply, how much has her unstable condition compromised her.
Finally, what the fuck happened to the maintenance guy? At one point someone hits him with a shovel. The next, Kate sees him strung up dead in a tree. Now remember this might not be real. Next you know, his body is gone... but so the fuck is the character. He just up and vanishes and it never comes back up. That's a pretty big loose end. It kinda matters to the plot as to how and why he disappeared. Did Kate kill the maintenance guy? Did the haunting? This drives the narrative behind Kate's madness and how or if the house is affecting her. It would have tied everything together. So basically, they abandoned the only thing in their plot that could have made it work... what a DISAPPOINTMENT! =D
As I said in the end, I actually had a lot of fun riffing this movie. It wasn't good for anything else, but it was fun to watch. You may want to give it a shot and do so with my blessing.