Lettuce Eat Cake

I carefully touched the round, smooth slope of the surface. It was cool from being in the refrigerator.

Moisture beaded on the green and white leaves. At the top, the color was darker - richer, more varied from one leaf to another. The wide curves at the sides pulled upward at the top to form sweeping curls, jagged edges, and spiraling twirls with toothy points. I was afraid to touch them; afraid to damage them; afraid they would damage me.

Here the shadows were darker too, concealing more toothy spirals inside them. The whole scene threatened to break my mind like some tale of elder gods. But like all darkness, the tale was balanced by the lighter, paler turns and ridges of the wide bodies of the leaves. As the convex curves pushed outward and swept down to form the outside of this unusual globe, the color changed ever so subtly from green to white. Past the strange equator, the toothed edges of each leaf became smoother, thicker, denser. The veins and ridges grew larger, wider. The gossamer curls became a strong, stable base.

The shadows were brighter now – light reflected up from the gleaming glass below it all. Pearlescent swirls of pale pastel matched the theme above. The light bounced and refracted into spontaneous rainbows and bright stars along the porcelain plate. More moisture fogged the underside in the cold shade, except for three oval swatches that had been warmed ever so slightly by my fingertips. Atop this cold, pale circle was the warmth of shining gold. Here the short, tight curves distorted the light and shadow of its mirrored surfaces. Yellows and oranges sparked against the whites and greens – and stood out against the deepest black of the unexpected dream inside it all.

Surrounded by blackness deeper than space, the long, thin, silver blade came forth from the golden handle. Sharp, triangular bevels spaced evenly by razor sharp square edges reflected more light into several bright stars that would awe an astronomer. My mind concocted horrid fantasies of what that knife could do to human skin if ever the two should meet. Here the blackness crumbled into chunks reminiscent of coal and lava rock. Scattered across the pale landscape, contrasting with the whole of the world around them. Like the meteorites that fall from our skies, we have to look up to search for their source. However, beyond where I expected the cloud like swirls I had visited before, beyond the toothy edges of green, laid open a vast void. Cut deep into the heart of the globe was a wedge of emptiness. I stared into that abyss… It felt like a piece of my universe was gone, ripped out of the green, leafy, sweet, mess.

The chasm was flanked on both sides by that crumby dark madness. I tried to grab ahold of a thin, sparkling white line that streaked straight across the middle of the darkness, as if it were a bridge to safety; but I was left with fingertips mounded high with the sticky, creamy, sweet taste of confusion. I was pulled in by the smell of it all – at once sweet, but also pungent and yet rich and calming. I closed my eyes and let myself fall deeper into its spell.

Little divots and tiny peaks reached out and clasped my hands. I stared at each jagged hole as if each were a cave in the mountain ranges of a distant, lifeless asteroid far from the sun. The twinkles of light from moments ago faded like stars too distant to see. The moist leafy green outer visage a mere memory.

This madness was delicious.