How Did I Die?

I am not sure how you’re reading this given that I’m dead, but here you are, and here I am. I guess I have to start at the beginning. I mean not my life story, it’s really not that interesting, but the crazy part. Things started getting strange a few months back, or at least I think it was a few months. Death changes your perception of time and it’s really hard to keep track.

I have to tell you at this point that I have always been a horror fan and was something of a Halloween fanatic as well. I am…er …was a true gen x’er in that I thought better of going to school and figured I could just jump right into life. I did end up making something of myself (I guess), but it took me until my 40’s to do so. You millennials may not understand but that’s not a problem for me anymore. (Insert hysterical laughter here – remember I’m dead, what do you want?).

Back to the story, I worked a lot of dead (pun unintentional) end jobs, including as an actor at various haunted houses. After a while I thought it would be a fantastic idea to open a Halloween/party store. It was at the time. It was a lucrative business and I did well. It didn’t take too long for me to be able to hire help and expand. I mean it wasn’t huge. It still felt like a family business, and I treated my employees well.

The weird stuff started on a regular Tuesday, I remember it was Tuesday because my favourite coffee place was closed and I thought, “how odd, to be closed on a Tuesday”. Now, you’re thinking, if it was my favourite coffee place, how did I not know this. Well I didn’t get coffee there every day, it was a treat occasionally. I actually made excellent coffee at home so would bring my own or make some at work most days. But I digress…I was getting ready to open when we all heard it…very cliché I know but there it was. There was a strange distant almost knocking sound but it wasn’t at the door. It sounded like it was coming from the walls. I know, you’re thinking “oh, an animal in the walls or staff in another room”, but I assure you, all staff was in the same room and the outside doors were still locked. We thought it might be an animal, so of course we had to investigate. Every time we got close, it moved. Animal? We weren’t sure and the only way to be sure was to bust into the walls. Before you ask, no this was not some abandoned building or store built on an ancient burial ground. It was a fairly new building, and the land had no real history that I knew of at the time.

So, we investigated for a few minutes and then as suddenly as it began, the knocking stopped. It was very typical horror movie stuff, rhythmic knocking and all that. I would be skeptical if I hadn’t been there but I was and well now I don’t know where I am. The others? I don’t know where they are to be honest, but I’m sure you can understand that. I can’t very well look for them in this state, can I?

Well, that was weird and we talked about it all morning but carried on with our day and it was soon forgotten. Nothing strange happened for a few days after that. One of my staff had a nosebleed the next day and another got sick in the middle of a shift, like really sick, but that shit happens and is not super unusual. I didn’t think anything of it until the said employees didn’t show up for work. I mean didn’t call, or email or contact me in any way. They didn’t answer their phones and seemed to disappear off social media. These weren’t kids that went out drinking and decided not to show up for a day. They were my most reliable people, and I tried to contact them for weeks. They were never heard from again, at least while I was alive.

I sent the police to their houses (they both lived alone as I did), and there was no sign of anything amiss.

I wasn’t sure what to do but I did need more people and eventually hired more employees. I wasn’t heartless, I waited for weeks and like I said tried to get in contact but there was nothing. Everything was as normal as it could be after such an event, (what does that mean really?), and then it happened again. I was not easily frightened but I have to tell you, my heart stopped and I was scared. All of us who had been there for the first sounds looked at each other with fear in our eyes. We all froze except the two new employees. I think they were talking but I couldn’t hear anything except the pounding of my heart. Again, it stopped suddenly but this time we didn’t forget and go about our day. I decided to close the store for the day, it seemed the only fair thing to do. I talked to the employees before they left and was actually surprised that my four originals didn’t just bolt out of there immediately. There was a definite air of trepidation, but they seemed ok, well what do I know about normal. They were nervous and wanting to get the hell out of there, but they also seemed scared to do that. I talked to each and asked if they had somewhere to go with friends/family and they all did so I reluctantly disbanded the group. You see, I was a bit afraid of going home. I spent that night at my friend’s place, Joe and Sarah didn’t mind, they were always trying to set me up with someone anyway, so they invited a lovely companion for dinner. Sparks didn’t fly but we had nice dinner and I felt somewhat comforted.

It was business as usual again the next day (well as much as it could be) and as you can guess I was waiting with baited breath for something to happen. I felt we all were. In case you were wondering I had to explain to the new employees and as you can imagine they were pretty freaked out, in fact, one of them quit on the spot. I checked on her for about a week afterward and she was fine, found another job. Nothing happened until the 3rd or 4th day, as I said perception of time and all that. That day Jamie got a nosebleed but no one got sick. We looked at each other for a moment and I think I said something about lying down or sending her home and she said no, no I’m fine. I asked if she wanted to stay at my place, you know, just in case and she declined. I know what you’re thinking but no she didn’t disappear like the others. She even came in to work the next day and the one after that, but she was never the same, at least with me. Also, yes I stayed with Joe and Sarah again and I could tell they were worried about me. I was a bit worried too.

Did we hear the knocking again? Actually we did, many times. Did I lose more employees? Well yes but they didn’t just disappear, they had their reasons as you can imagine. So, while no one disappeared, the knocking got worse and I couldn’t do anything about it, and no one was disappearing. I forgot to mention that soon after the first time I had someone come in and inspect the walls and they found nothing. I could sell and move somewhere else. The customers thought it was a great effect, and I tried to tell them it was a spooky phenomenon, but that made them love it more.

So, what does this have to do with me and how I died you ask? I’m getting to that, although as you can guess I am fuzzy on what really happened. I’m hoping you might be able to help.

I guess I should get to what happened next. I was at home, made some popcorn and was getting ready to watch a movie when it happened again. I heard it! I was frozen in terror for a moment and then I thought, but wait, what had really happened. Two people had disappeared but had they, really? I just wish I could describe what it was like, sitting there by myself hearing that rhythmic knocking sound. I had shivers and could hardly breathe. Of course, it stopped again…but…

The phone rang and I almost jumped out of my seat. It was my friend Sarah and she sounded upset. I had to return to reality to take in what she was saying. Her husband Joe had been in an accident and was at the hospital, could I drive her there as he had been in their only car. “Of course”, I stammered, “I’ll be there soon”. I couldn’t think properly on the drive to Sarah’s house nor on the way to the hospital. These were my best friends and it was horrible not knowing how badly Joe was hurt. When we got to the hospital the scene was not good. I had a terrible feeling and when I looked at the doctor who was talking to Sarah, I knew Joe was already gone.

Sarah was shaking and I didn’t want to ask her anything. When I hugged her, I felt a serious sense of dread (again cliché but true). She didn’t want to talk, and I offered to stay with her, but she wanted to be alone. I went home shaken and not really knowing what to do. What did it all mean? Did it have anything to do with what had happened at the store? How could it? I didn’t want to sleep but I was exhausted and despite my best efforts I ended up drifting off.

When I woke up, I knew something wasn’t right. I didn’t feel right…something was wrong with my body but in my sleep haze I didn’t know what. It took me a minute, maybe two to realize I couldn’t move my legs! As in, I was paralyzed from the waist down! I know you’re thinking “you were probably still dreaming” but no, I was not. I had the same thoughts at first. Where was my phone? I looked at the nightstand and thank god it was there.

I called Sarah but no answer, just the answering service (I still think of it as the machine – I don’t know why that comes to mind right now). I didn’t want to leave a message but wasn’t sure quite what to do. Should I call 911? I had no choice really. I called and I have to say was rather impressed with the speed of these particular paramedics, although I had to drag myself to the door to unlock it so I may have lost track of time. One doesn’t realize how hard it is to drag oneself along the floor and reach the door lock until one is forced to do it. I may have been panicking, or in shock but I don’t remember the trip to the hospital.

When I woke up again, yes I was somehow out again, apparently similar to a light, just bam, out, there was as doctor standing by the bed with a rather strange look on his face.

“I don’t know how to tell you this, but, your spinal cord is severed”

“what..I…what?” I stammered. “How?”

“I can’t tell you that”, he said

“Well, what…I mean…” I didn’t know what to ask or how this happened while I was sleeping. And then…I heard the knocking again. I felt all the blood drain from my face. The doctor had a peculiar look on his face, most likely because all the colour had most likely drained from my face and who knows what kind of terrified look was pasted on it.

“Are you…ok, what’s …

Apparently I couldn’t stay awake for any length of time anymore. This next part is going to sound really bizarre and I need you to bear with me on this. I didn’t make this up, but it will sound like I did.

I woke up and couldn’t move at all. I mean my fingers could move but I was tied up somehow. I was terrified and then I heard the voice. It sounded a lot like the doctor who had told me I was paralyzed. Now I was even more terrified. I don’t know how to explain the feeling, so you’ll just have to imagine it. To be honest, I’m not even sure I was at the hospital before that, I guess I assumed that I was?

“I know what happened” the voice whispered in my ear.

“I’m …what?”

“I know about you and Joe and what happened all those years ago.”

See now, I realize I didn’t tell you about all of that and yes I know you are saying “um, kind of an important story don’t you think?”. I still don’t understand how it came back to haunt me so many years later. It wasn’t really all that bad. I will tell you but first I have to finish this part of the story. I know people hate it when the characters reiterate the story as if people talk like that in real life.

So, this crazy doctor had me at his mercy and all I could think to do was try to explain, which I did but my head was so foggy, it was hard to piece my sentences together properly.

“You can try to explain but I was there, and I have not seen either of you make amends or any reasonable explanation. I have also been watching you and I know all the things you’ve done”.

All the things I had done? What else had I done? “I haven’t…” I started to explain.

“Stop explaining, I gave you both a chance”

My only thought was to try and diffuse, distract, would someone find me, where was I anyway? I tried to look around, but it was dark. I could make out the doctor’s shadow moving around but not much else. It didn’t have the feel of a house, it was too drafty, and I couldn’t make out any shadows of furniture, lamps, anything.

“So, you caused Joe’s accident? Why? I mean why like that and not like this?”

“Well you see” my tormentor explained, I could hear the sound of a knife being sharpened and I wasn’t sure if it was just for effect, “Joe is someone who will be missed”.

“But, how could you know he would be injured badly enough?”

“Oh, I have ways.”

“And, what about the knocking sounds and my employees that went missing?”

I thought I caught a sharp inhale of breath and there was a pause. Did he cause all that, did he know…I felt a sharp pricking sensation in my neck.

At that point, I blacked out again. I didn’t wake up again. Well I mean alive. I found myself here, although, I don’t know where here is. I am still trying to figure that part out, but I was hoping if I wrote this it might help me figure out who this “doctor” is/was and what happened to my staff members and where I am. Is this Hell, purgatory? Well I guess it can’t be Hell can it, where is the fire and brimstone, or is it just mental torture?

Why isn’t Joe here if he’s dead too and for the same reason. And where did those employees go? They weren’t with Joe and I so many years ago. And what did he mean the other things, I am being honest when I say there was nothing else. The knocking sounds?

Oh, and I guess you want to hear what happened all those years ago. Well, I will tell you that but not right now. I don’t know how this is possible but I’m so tired. How can a dead person be tired? Honestly, I am not totally sure I’m dead. Right now, I just need to sleep. Head is so foggy, is that the knocking again?