Happy Death Day

This has been the craziest morning honestly. I need to get Kaila up for breakfast. She's in the 3rd grade. She loves her school and she has so many friends. I remember loving elementary school too, it wasn't really until I was a freshman in high school that I started to despise school. I think everyone feels that way about high school though. Well, at least most people.

I didn't have to run upstairs to grab Kaila, she was already running down the stairs for breakfast and she was dressed. She had sausage, eggs and potatoes and a slice of toast. Her grandmother made it. I was in the living room working on my laptop. I had an article that I needed to get in before 10am.

After she finished breakfast she practically sprinted to the car and my mother rushed after her. I didn't even get the words "Have a good day" out before the door was closed. She was particularly excited today because it was Dr. Seuss Day and she had on her Cat in the Hat outfit my mother had made for her a few weeks ago. Today for lunch they were having Green Eggs and Ham.

I got up and went into the kitchen to clean up the dishes, but they were already in the dishwasher and it had been started. I went upstairs, the puppy followed after me. She was a little Cane Corso. I told my mother not to get Kaila a dog but she insisted on it because Kaila needed protection. She wasn't wrong. There were a lot of crazy people out there. My ex-husband being one of them.

Our marriage wasn't always bad. Honestly, I thought we were more than happy but I was just caught up on ignorant bliss. I was completely infatuated with that man. He was everything I wanted and expected of a husband. And one day it all just simply changed. I'm not even sure what happened. I trusted him completely so I never looked through his phone. We had our own separate bank accounts and a joint account because we had very successful careers and encouraged each other in our respective fields. So money was never an issue.

There was never a time where "I'm working late" meant anything other than that because he would Facetime from the office, he hated working late because he was always bored. Our love life was spontaneous and fun. And then one day he came in the house and without even speaking, he backhanded me across the face. We were both in complete shock. I was so confused. He seemed just as confused as myself and then he suddenly ran upstairs, locking himself in the room.

After that day, we didn't really talk. There wasn't too much to say to be honest. He apologized the next morning over breakfast. He cooked. There was no explanation, there was no extra conversation. A few months later it was like we were back to normal. Smiling at each other. Holding hands and kissing and we were back on our date nights. And then one day I was pregnant. He was so excited. He told me he was hoping for a girl. And 9 months later there Kaila was. She was so sweet and so small.

When she turned 4, I don't really remember my husband. He was never home, he never called and then finally he was just all the way gone. He became a very distant memory. I don't even remember the color of his eyes. Before I knew it, Kaila was back home. She rode the bus with her two best friends Meredith and Ana. When she walked in the door she stopped at the photo of all three of us on the wall. Like she does every single day.

"Hi Mom" she said softly. She ran past me on the stairs and I waved at her. My mother came in a few minutes later. I was sitting on the couch by then. She also stopped at the picture. She took it off the wall and sat down in the recliner next to me. I looked over at her and smiled but she didn't smile back. She held the picture close and cried.

"I miss you so much" she cried touching my side of the picture.

It was then and only then did I really remember. The day. That day. He came home. He wasn't drunk but he was angry. He started yelling at us. More specifically at Kaila because she made a mess on the floor with her crayons and coloring pages. I came out of the kitchen and yelled back.

"She's just coloring!"

"You shut the hell up and get back in the kitchen! I'll deal with you later"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? No one has done anything to you!"

He screamed some other things that I couldn't remember word for word because at the same time he pulled out a gun. Where did he get a gun?! I raced to protect Kaila, even if it was going to cost me my life. And apparently it did. The last thing I remember hearing was his body laying next to mine, a bullet wound in his temple. And my mother at the front door with a revolver in her hand.

I pointed to Kaila, and she put the gun in my hand, grabbed her granddaughter and called for help.

Happy Birthday, my sweet girl.