Hallow

My childhood dream was to be happy. I could work sometimes, but I’d still have time for passion projects, friends, and love. I enjoyed working and making money, but I enjoyed the time I spent away just as much. It was a much needed balance. What could be greater?

My childhood dreams were foolish and unlucrative. There is no money in passion projects or time spent away from work. Relationships were a distraction without profit. Any time available to me was best spent building skills to increase my marketability in the broadest sense. There would be nothing greater.

I made up my mind to pursue a career. The field doesn’t matter, only the pay. I’ll work hard and take every opportunity that presents itself. In time, I’ll be at the top and enjoy every perk and payoff of my hard work. There could be nothing greater.

The work day went as planned. All reports turned in on time. Nothing out of the ordinary, just another day of doing the same thing. Again. This was life, and it was a life no different than before. It was a life of excelling at work and meeting the ever growing demands of those whom I wished to please. Every day was a grind and a rinse and repeat. Nothing could be greater.

Something unexpected appeared on my desk today. It was just another day until I saw a glimpse of something on my computer. It was a strange being without much behind the eyes. It must have been a glitch. I'll submit a ticket to I.T. to have them take a look. My work is too important to be interrupted by these kinds of things. Nothing is greater.

I was given a temporary replacement until I.T. finds the issue with my computer. They couldn't find anything in the initial evaluation, but I insisted after it appeared again. Its eyes were sunken and dark. It was monstrous in appearance, so I took to referring to it as the monster. I had had enough of this distraction. My work was piling up. This technical issue could not be greater.

I had to go into the I.T. office today. The temporary replacement they gave me had the same issue as my computer. They stared at me blankly before passing my computer back to me without a word. I took it and returned to my desk quickly to catch up on my work. That's when I noticed the pressure. This pressure only became greater.

I finally caught up on my work. I ignored the monster on my screen. Though it was frightful, it did not interfere with my work unless I allowed myself to be distracted by it. The days grew longer, and my monster grew as well. I could feel its gaze burrowing its way into my mind. As much as I tried to ignore it, its presence seemed to be getting greater.

For the first time in recent memory, I went to the bathroom on company time. The pressure of avoiding the monster took its toll on me. I couldn't sleep, so I began drinking more coffee to get through the days. It was quiet in the bathroom, though it was best I hurry back. But, not before washing my hands, both physically and metaphorically, of the filth of using a public bathroom. It was here, at my most vulnerable, the monster presented itself in full view. I could not run. My horror was greater.

The monster before me stared into my eyes, pleading for humanity to be found within its gaze. I stared back, frozen and afraid. Its eyes were dark with little life left to reassure me of its plea. It sighed and turned away just as I did the same. The chimes outside notified me that it was time to return to the chains that bound me to the desk. Nothing should be greater and yet my reflection begged to differ. My monster was me.