Evan and Hell: The Mystery Of Evan Peters Is Finally Solved On 'American Horror Story'!

This little piggy stayed home, this little piggy had roast beef, and this little piggy had...a homosexual romance in the backwaters of America. Well we weren't expecting that! That's right American Horror Story fans, Evan Peters made his glorious and unexpected arrival on Roanoke this week and it was everything we hoped for and more. This week's episode finally shut down all those theories on who cast alumni Evan Peters would be playing.

To refresh you memory, here is what people thought Peters's role would actually be:

• Piggy Man (sorry, I called that one)
• The man behind the camera (now confirmed as Cheyenne Jackson)
• Charles Manson - presumably to reenact last year's Devil's Night

Well we can confirm that the Horror Story hunk plays none of the above.

Warning: Spoilers ahead for American Horror Story: Roanoke Chapter 5.

Getting Mott under the collar.

It was a steamy arrival for Peters as Edward Philippe Mott — the original owner of the Roanoke house. Something of an outcast, Mott preferred not only the company of men, but fine artwork too. As a man of upper-class, he fled Philadelphia to Roanoke, then bought the cursed land. Setting up a love nest for him and his hand-servant, Mott used the house as a place to showcase his artwork. He also built a series of tunnels under the house in case of attack, which came in pretty handy a little later on in the episode. It was a suitably creepy, campy performance, and well worth the wait to see the main man of AHS back on our screens:

Do not think that your velvet tongue and purple cock-head make you anymore than that.

And it's safe to say that Twitter was pretty chuffed to have Mr. P on board, too:

Evan Peters blessing us with this scene. #AHSRoanoke pic.twitter.com/2tKX0nXB2g— AmericanHorrorStory (@RoanokeAHS) October 13, 2016

Edward Philippe Mott is a distant relative of the f****d up Mott family from Freak Show, so we even get that promised connection to previous seasons. There is a throwback from (real) historian Doris Kearns Goodwin to the Mott lineage, and she refers to the family coming to an end under a cloud of disgrace in Florida during the 1950s — recapping the tale of Dandy Mott (Finn Wittrock) and his murderous rampage around Elsa Mars's attraction.

However, joy soon turned to rage, as in typical AHS fashion Peters found himself being killed off early on! The episode was progressive in many ways — it handled the issue of a gay interracial couple in the 1700s, and it also brought back Evan Peters = win win!

Could this really be the end for the high-profile actor's stint on the show? Surely "Mott"!

He's playing a ghost...again!

With pointy ends and holes (not for the first time) Edward Philippe Mott never stood a chance against the murderous Butcher and her colonist cronies. Just 10 minutes in and we were transported to 1792 — Mott was staked through the heart and walked into the fire, embodying a giant marshmallow. Back in modern times, Cuba and co. find themselves once more under attack from the Butcher. The Miller family run into Peters's ghostly presence in the basement, and he leads them on a Great Escape tunneling out of the Roanoke house.

So far, Peters has played three ghosts in three seasons, and has a tendency to be an evil spirit. Does Mott helping the Millers escape show him turning over a new leaf compared to previous incarnations?

• Season 1 — Peters played Tate Langdon, the murderous ghost who butchered a school full of people. Likes skeleton faces and guns.
• Season 5 — Peters plays James Patrick March, the murderous ghost who butchered a hotel full of people. Likes bleach and slides.
• Season 6 — Peters plays Edward Philippe Mott, the friendly ghost who just wants to be left alone. Likes penis and fine embroidery.

Do collar and cuffs match?

In early August the paparazzi snapped Peters in Hollywood with some decidedly ginger hair, leading many to question where were the auburn locks this week? Admittedly I could just be going colorblind, but with a RuPaul's Drag Race-style wig reveal, we had expected to see a flash of orange under his powdered wig. Alas, all I saw was brown.

If he is currently rocking the brunette look, it does open the question of just why did Peters dye his hair red? Someone noticed that a crop of ginger hair would tie into Lady Gaga's witch Scáthach — fueling the fire that she has a spawn running around somewhere, and that Cuba Gooding's Matt is the daddy. Don't ask me how the timing would work, maybe witch babies grow quicker.

The other theory doing the rounds was that Peters could be playing the sadistic Malachai Boardman from 1984's Children of the Corn. One promo teaser for the show does indeed feature a homage to Children of the Corn, and we do know that the show likes to source its stories from popular culture.

Add that one to the mix, and once again put on the tinfoil hat — could the actor be playing two roles this season? Bets are back on for whether it be Boardman, Pig Man, Charles Manson, or someone in Cheyenne Jackson's doomed production crew. Personally I would be happy to see some more of Edward Philippe Mott, but I can assure you, we haven't seen the last of Evan just yet.