Eating my experiences (20)

TOME 21

The next several days were a blur of joints and gazing longingly at Lilly who had encompassed my every thought. I found myself staring at her grace and peppy natured reactions for hours at a time. Our trip back took three days, as we broke for camp often and joyously. I had my good friend Zach back, as well as a new friend to explore. Other than Lilly our trek was uneventful, a much needed release of tension after the tragedy and horror that unfurled in the militia's headquarters.

Meeting Lilly seemed so serendipitous I never questioned her position, I never asked how she came to be in that place or where she previously lived, we all tried to avoid speaking of the time before, it was often too painful to compare the past to where we were now.

On the third and final day of our walk we unanimously decided to attempt to find a new property, in the hopes of finding somewhere a little more well kept. As we turned the corner towards a river, I found a large bush of flowers, where I picked one for Lilly, who responded with a giggle and a blush before stating "Thank you, I love this, the green of the stem is so nice, green is my favorite color."

My heart aches as I think of my mother, who's favorite color was green, of the trauma she inflicted, of the broken nature of her voice. "Heh, it was my mother's favorite color too." I admit, sadness passing over me like the beginning of a large storm, when Lilly claps me on the back with s weak smile and a kiss on the cheek. She is uncharacteristically wordless as she gazes into my glassy eyes. I cannot help it, there was too much trauma and tragedy between my mother and I, a wound that could never heal. A story I feared to tell. "Thank you" is all I could muster for Lilly as we trudged onward.

Lilly and I walked behind Alex and Zach in silence, listening in on their conversation as we went in the shadow of gloom. I allowed myself to briefly wonder why Lilly's composure had changed so harshly despite having no true knowledge of my mom, of what she did, but allowed the thought to pass, chalking it up to her being sensitive and caring towards me. I appreciated Lilly in all that she was, in all that I knew of her, yet I couldn't help but feel alone in this battle with myself, so I swallowed it deep into my chest before grabbing Lilly's small, cold hand in mine.

When we finally came to a sparse line of housing we began to follow the river in search of one that had several floors, and looked as thought it may be abandoned in a hurry. We walked for about half a day as the sun began to set behind us when we came upon a house that seemed so perfect it might have fallen from the sky just to meet us. I ran ahead, filled to the brim with glee as I inspected the water mill's wheel, seemingly in good shape, turning steadily. "Do you think this connects to the electricity?" I yelled out to no particular person before leaping the front stairs into the house.

It was still in the house and I could see dust flitting in the rays of sunshine. I allowed myself to absorb the silence, ensuring there was no sound of footsteps as I crossed the front room to try the power. I held my breath, pulse pounding in my ears, as the light came on! We had been living without power for months, and we finally had the solace of electricity, maybe some warm food, perhaps light in the night, warmth in the cold.

My friends walked in with a similar look of pleasure at the sight of working power before we chose to split into groups to search for useful bits and bobs. The house was surprisingly well kept, dusty, but in otherwise great shape, I began by washing bedding in the stream before noticing a washer and dryer in the basement. Convenient.

The house was three floors including the basement, which we decided to sleep in as the windows were too small to come in through, but big enough to see out of. We tested the front door to see if we could hear people enter from the basement, we could hear each footstep, this would become our new fortress.

TO BE CONTINUED....