Before You Go

The snow fell lightly around her and she could see her breath fog out with every exhale. The night cloaked the city promising the possibility of secret happenings away from the light. She waited a moment longer before she took a final breath and walking into the warm comfort of the building.

“Evening ma’am.” The doorman said as he grasped the gold bar and swung open the door.

“Good evening.” She said flashing her brilliant smile.

The warm air met with the cold and danced in competition around her legs. The massive lobby was elegantly decorated with Christmas. Stuffed into the corner of the room was a tree with twinkling lights flashing, revealing bright colored packages on the floor surrounding the trunk. The faint scent of pine was in the air, while Pat Boone crooned in the background wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

There came a clicking sound of her high heels meeting the polished hardwood floor as she made her way to the elevator. She pressed the button marked “up,” and waited for the car to make its way to the lobby floor. As the doors opened a flood of people ejected from the car and moved their way around her as though she was a statuesque obstacle that was rooted the main floor. As the crowd thinned she made her way into the elevator car and pushed the button for the fourth floor.

The remaining people in the elevator were quietly talking to themselves. Standing there waiting for her floor to come, she heard how Mrs. Colbert found the perfect gift for her Granddaughter. The doll that you can feed and messes in its diaper. She overheard how Janie got to second base with Scott, “the hottest senior in the entire school.” She looked over her shoulder at the two young girls and smiled. They smiled back and hid, unsuccessfully, their giggles behind their hands. She returned her gaze to the elevator door. Feeling slight exhaustion in her feet, she began to wonder what was taking so long for the door to….

The doors parted and she stepped out into the hallway She turned to her right and made her way past the plain unadorned condo doors and stood in front of her door that was as plain as the others. Her hand dipped into her coat pocket and searched for the ring of keys. Locating the ring she watched the light glitter across the keys in the light of the hallway. Inserting the key, she turned the knob and entered her condo.

The condo was lit with the soft light of the lamps that should be ice cold since she had turned them off before she left for the office that morning. Laying her keys on the small table by door, she began to think. Did she turn them off? Maybe this day of all days she left them on. She turned the corner and saw a fire was blazing in the fireplace. That she KNEW she did not leave burning. Besides even if she did, how was the fire stoked during the entire day while she was gone? Walking into the living room she stood in front of the fire puzzling over the warm dancing flames.

“I thought a fire would help set the mood.” Came a voice from behind her. Jerking around at the sound she faced the couch and saw a man dressed in a black suit sitting on her couch holding a glass of her good wine.

“Who are you?” She asked startled but unafraid. He pitched himself forward and placed the glass on the table. He looked at her and blinked as though he had to consider an answer to her question. She turned to grab the fireplace poker for protection. Just as her fingertips whispered against the brass, she was suddenly enveloped by the arms of the stranger as though they were lovers sharing an embrace.

“Now that’s not very nice.” He whispered into her ear. There was a feeling of passion surging from his body into hers. With a blink of her eyes she could picture him entering her while his lips met and teased hers. Her breath began to come in waves of ecstasy. Before she was able to climax he let her go. She sunk down on her knees feeling the sweet moisture in her special place. Gaining her breath, she turned to the couch where he was sitting just as before. Her mind swirled with racing thoughts of sex, fear, and confusion. She gathered herself while on her knees and slowly rose on weak legs. She walked over to the table and took a long sip from the single wine glass.

“Who are you?” She asked again trying to be as brave as she could possibly be.

“Wouldn’t you like to know why I’m here?” He asked dismissing her question with one of his own. She considered for a moment and decided that she wanted to know both.

“Ok, why are you here?” She asked sounding business like.

“I’m here for your soul.” He said flashing a wide grin.

“So, that means you’re the devil? She asked barely able to keep a straight face. Before she could smirk, he appeared before her and grasped both sides of her head and looked into her eyes. She could see nothing but black hollow pits where his eyes used to be.

“Do you think this is a game?” He roared into her face. He held her tight to him. She tried to push him away feeling the fear rise into her chest and make its way up her throat. Before she could scream he cupped a cold dead hand over her mouth. From his skin rose the smell of rotted meat. It permeated her being and she began to cry. Seeing her eyes welling with tears, he let her go. Gasping for clean breath she stood there not wanting to provoke him. He returned to the couch and motioned for her to join him. Standing there for a moment, she decided that she really had nothing to lose since she had made her decision over her lunch break.

She walked the long way around the table and sat on the farthest end of the couch. Crossing her legs, she laid her hands patiently in her lap waiting for an explanation. He looked her up and down and picked up the glass of wine. Lifting the glass to his face he held it under his nose and inhaled deeply. He let out a sigh and took a sip of the wine.

“I love taking the rich and privileged! The poor can offer nothing as exquisite as this.” He explained.

“I’m glad you approve.” She said not really knowing what else to say. Draining the last few sips from the glass he replaced it upon the table and turned his attention to her.

“You made an important decision today. That is why I am here. As far as who I am, there are so many titles for me that it is hard to narrow it down for humans understand. There is no true name for me. The closest thing that you would understand is an angel. A death angel.” He said looking into her face.

“How do you know about my decision?” She asked. He grinned at her revealing a row of white sharp teeth. Seeing this display, she decided that she would go bravely.

“You humans think you’re here alone. Who do you think is in control of your life? My brothers and I are the ones who control your decisions. Pawns on a chess board. But your decision is one of your own. You made it against the will of my brothers. So, they sent me to collect your soul.” He explained.

Sitting there she watched as he waved his hand over the glass making more of her expensive wine appear. Grasping the glass, he offered it to her. Taking the glass, she examined the wine as though she could tell whether or not the wine was laced with any kind of poison.

“So, what is so special about me that brings you here?” She asked then took a long trusting sip of the magic wine.

“You’re going against the grain. Not following the intended purpose that was set for you.” He said gravely. “I am here to help you accomplish your task in ending your life.” He finished explaining. As he sat forward leaning intentionally into the void that was between them it struck her that he was straining to listen for her denial and protesting. After all thoughts of ending one’s life is as personal as one undressing in privacy. It was taboo to speak of such thoughts and desires. Knowing she was caught; she knew it was feeble to try and deny.

“So, I have made my decision. Just how are you going to help me?” She asked calmly as though she was ordering a cup of tea to go with her biscuit.

“I’m going to help you pass.” He said just as calmly as she had. Taking a long sip from the wine glass she placed it on the table and stood up from the couch.

“Well then I guess we should get on with it then. After all I’m sure you have other places to be.” She said with great resolve. He stood up and held out his hand to her. Without hesitating she took his hand and allowed herself to be led to the bathroom.

Without a question in her mind she was not surprised that he knew his way around the condo. After all he was there when she arrived so it was impossible to tell how long he was waiting for her, of course he could have had more than enough time to stroll around her place. But there was something deep inside of her that knew this was untrue. He knew because he knew plain and simple.

He turned on the bathroom light and allowed her to step inside. He watched as she took a final look around the room before turning her attention to the medicine cabinet. Opening the door, she found the pain pills that were prescribed. She had faithfully gone down to the drugstore on East 68th street and received the constant refills that she was hording.

She, at first, didn’t know why she kept getting the refills when she didn’t need them. It wasn’t until today that she saw she had at least 100 pills to do the job. She could feel his hands on her shoulders massaging them with a loving touch that made her eyes well-up with tears of regret. He began to caress her neck with his lips as she reached out and grabbed the bottles. She clutched them to her breasts, much like she did with the dead body of her freshly born baby.

“You are so beautiful.” He whispered into her ear. She turned to look at him and she saw nothing but the face of a handsome man. Not an angel or demon, just a man and he was standing there in front of her. He nodded his head once telling her to continue on with the task at hand. She left the bathroom and stepped into the darkness of the bedroom.

There came the sudden sound of a match being struck and there was a soft glow at the end of the room. Before she could blink a dozen or more candles came a light revealing rose petals on the bed and on the floor. This man, devil, or angel had done this for her. Seeing this touched her heart in a way that she never expected to feel again. There on the night table was the decanter of wine, and a wine glass. She made her way to the bed and stood by the corner looking at him. He motioned for her to lay on the bed, and she complied. She kicked off her heels and they hit the floor. He came to her and stroked her hair as it cascaded over the pillow. She reached out and stroked his face thinking about the feeling of being held in his arms.

“Are you afraid?” He asked her.

“No.” She finally said after searching his face. He sat up and took the decanter in his hand and poured a big helping of wine nearly filling it to the top, and then he looked at her. As if on cue she sat up on the bed and began to open each bottle of pills, spilling out the contents on the bedspread.

“There is power and love in life, and darkness on the other side.” He said to her in a calm whisper.

“I just want peace.” She answered and took his hand in hers. He squeezed her hand reassuringly then let it go and grasped the glass of wine and held it out for her to take.

“Peace will find you soon.” He said and gave the glass to her. She took it and began to take the pills four at a time until she had them down her throat finishing off the wine she gave him the glass to be refilled. Doing so, she finished the wine in big gulps. She gave him the glass again, and she laid down on the pillow again taking a satisfied sigh.

“How long?” She asked him slightly slurring her words. He opened his suit jacket and took out a gold pocket watch. He opened the cover of the watch and glanced down at the ticking watch.

“About ten minutes.” He said snapping close the lid and replaced it inside his pocket. She nodded her head and accepted the answer. She could feel the pills taking effect. Her vision began to double, and she began having trouble thinking. As she became aware that the time was nearing she grasped his hand and held it to her breasts.

“Let it come.” He said and left his hand where it was. Soon she was slipping away. He carefully took back his hand and got on the bed. He straddled her and leaned in close to her. She never registered the fact that he was on top of her, by then she was all but gone. But before she died he leaned in close and whispered, “Just one kiss before you go.”

With that last kiss he took her soul and left the condo.

Copyright by Stephanie Foreman