Angel Hair

"You are a good f**king person", he said. "I know", I replied, "because bad f**king people like you do terrible f**king things to good f**king people like me". It's not about who I was, it's about who I have become. The coldest hearts were the warmest places once upon a time. It held desires, pain, anger, love, jealousy once but now there was just an endless fog of numbness. It has been a while since I felt anything. I don't remember anything except for the traumatic memories that I have of the year gone by. I am so grateful that God gave me enough strength to face my troubles. I am grateful that God gave me enough capability to go through things on my own. But most of all, I am grateful that he made me crazy enough to instill terror in the minds of all who have hurt me. Now, they will remember me before they even attempt to do the same with someone else. They will remember my name before the thought of hurting someone will even enter their mind. My hounds will always follow them, waiting, hiding, lurking in the shadows until they think that they are finally free, that's when most people make mistakes but once they do, my hounds will do their part. Hell is so much better when you are the Queen surrounded by all the riches that it provides. My days of lack have become a part of a distant forgotten past.

It wasn't always like this, I was once a normal girl with normal dreams, working, hustling, patiently waiting for my turn to shine. Cheering people up when they were down, helping others and doing my part of bringing light to this world. I bounced back from everything that was sent to destroy me, it made me stronger and better, but the burden of being the strong one who can go through anything and still rise was too much on my shoulders. Atlas's fate, they said, was to bear the weight of the world on his shoulders and so do you, my dear. I was getting tired of being a good person with a big smile on my face. There came a time when holding myself together and not bursting into tears became another chore. I couldn't go on like that, this life, was not making me happy. I needed some comfort from the battles that I fought every day and night in the hidden dungeons of my soul. The worst part was that everyone thought I was normal and I had to keep telling them that everything was ok. No. I was not ok. Nothing was fine. I can't keep taking your burdens, your pain, your problems and avoiding healing myself. I can't go to emotionally draining places doing emotionally draining things that led me nowhere. One meaningless relationship after another. The pointless "Hi, this feels good" to "Sorry, it's not working for me" and "It's not you, it's me". I had a choice to say 'NO', yet I showed up to the same fake world everyday, keeping up the charade. Everything changed after that fateful night.

Once you reach that point where nothing else matters, you become someone else, you come into your power. Everything changes when you realize that it is a choice to let bad things happen to you, it is a choice to suffer in silence, it is a choice to not stand up for yourself and a choice can be changed.

"They say life is like a boomerang, what goes around comes around but I think that mine is like a sock that goes in a dryer and never comes back the same", said the stranger standing next to my bed at 3 AM in the morning.

'This is it', I think, 'this is how my story ends. He is going to kill me. But why is he stalling so much? What does he want? Do I really need a response to that?'

"Don't worry darling, it is crowded in my head, I am just clearing the clutter."

Honestly, at that hour I would have preferred a quick death and not hear about someone's personal story but here I am listening to this forlorn-looking monster.

"Murder wasn't on my agenda for today."

"Is that even a thing? Who keeps murder on their agenda?"

"I do. It's usually Saturday nights around Autumn."

"Oh, so you are a bit early because it's still mid-July. Shall we postpone it then? I'll mark my calendar for August-end or September.", I responded in my regular silly way. 'This is not a time for sarcasm you idiot', I had to remind myself.

"You know, there are worse things that a person holding a gun sitting at the edge of your bed at midnight can do to you."

'Uh-oh, why did I have to be such a smartass?'

"But, it's not one of those days, I follow an order."

'Should I be glad or should I be worried?', I thought. "And what is that?", I had to ask because if I am going to die then might as well get to know all the details.

"I knew you were going to be an interesting one. There was something about the way you put honey and vanilla in your iced tea that made me curious about what goes on in your captivating little mind."

'Got it, no more beverage experiments. Would only drink black coffee from now on.'

"Drinking black coffee won't make your mind less beautiful."

I stared in confusion while holding a shriek. "You-you-you can read my thoughts?"

"Of Course, I can. Don't be so hard on yourself. I like your questions. You are so brave."

"What do you mean? Where is this going?"

"People who are running away from themselves often dwell in destination addiction. What is it that you want? What is it that you are trying to find? Will that be enough? Would you find peace and happiness? Ah, the lies, so many lies, the ones that we love telling ourselves. The ones that make us feel wonderful and secure in our sorry little lives. The ones that we choose to believe."

"Nothing can fill an empty heart of a broken soul", I muttered under my breath. The problem with empathetic people is that they feel sorry for terrible people too.

"I know what you are thinking."

'Why?'

"Perhaps, the villain is a victim whose story hasn't been told."

"So you consider yourself a protagonist of this story? Does that mean you have come to save me from some magical enemy? Is that what the gun is for - to save me?", I was actually gaining courage now. I looked around the room, searching for open windows or doors, any kind of entrances. Nothing. How did he enter my room at this hour? Guess, I'll just have to ask him. "If you are just a victim then why this? How did you become this person?"

"It is not about patience you see, it is about learning how to handle your darkness. Sometimes you win sometimes it wins. People only want a clean slate from you when they begin to realize your power. Until then, they just keep kicking you, throwing dirt on your name, not understanding that even the nicest people have their limits. Once you reach that point where nothing else matters, you become someone else, you come into your power. Everything changes when you realize that it is a choice to let bad things happen to you, it is a choice to suffer in silence, it is a choice to not stand up for yourself and a choice can be changed."

"What made you change your choice and what does it have to do with me?"

"Little bird, you are getting ahead of yourself. Have patience."

"For someone who just gave a lecture on patience and nice people having limits you sure like to test mine.". Damn, I was getting good at this.

"You saw a gun in my hand and automatically assumed that I kill people. The gun could be for my protection. What if I am a hero who saves the town by killing villains? Ever thought about that?"

My jaw dropped **heavy breathing**. Was I sitting across the crime-fighting eccentric billionaire? "Are you... Are you... Batman?", I looked at him with gooey eyes.

He looked at me with a slight hint of a smile mixed with amusement.

"So with the use of a few words, I went from being a psychopath to a crime-fighting hero in your eyes. Interesting. This means that mere words control you and that makes you susceptible to manipulation."

"This is going nowhere, you stoked my curiosity for a bit but now it is getting pretty monotonous."

"Alright then, I will take your leave now. I look forward to meeting you again."

'You will be the only one looking.'

"I heard that."

"......"

The stranger started walking towards the window and slowly started fading, he turned back and looked at me one last time before slowly disappearing by the window. WHAT!?! Did that really happen? Where did he go? A distant ringing caught my attention. It was becoming louder and louder. A persistent beep, as if, as if.... an alarm clock was ringing. I woke up confused and contemplating on what felt like a distant fading memory... of a dream. Was it really a dream? I guess yes because what else could explain the disappearance. As I was getting up to get some tea, an object caught my eye. It was an old black leather diary with a key. Confusion filled my mind as I looked at the date 'October 17th, 2020', which was written on the front page along with the ominous message - 'The illuminated one will rise'.