The Virginity of Mary Explained

I have seen some "clever/witty/sarcastic" posts about the alleged "virginity" of Mother Mary. These always pop up around Christmastime in attempt to mock the birth of Jesus Christ. These are often posted by people assuming they are being very clever by questioning this not realizing the answer and explanation for is quite simply in the Bible.

The answer is simple. Read your Bible. This paradox is clearly explained in Matthew 1 which is noted below. In the time that Joseph and Mary were living, there were strict rules about courting, betrothal, and marriage. When a woman became betrothed to a man, they were legally considered husband and wife, and during this time, the woman lived at home with her family, usually about a year while the constructs of the marital contract were fulfilled. There was no intimacy or sexual intercourse between the couple during this time.

There is a Hebrew verb "aras," which refers to the Jewish marriage practice in which the groom contractually pays a bride-price (mohar) to the bride’s father (Genesis 34:12). Basically, a dowry of sorts. According to Old Testament scholar Douglas Stuart, “This was the final step in the courtship process, and was virtually equivalent in legal status to the wedding ceremony.” According to the Mishnah Ketubbot 5.2, the betrothal would last a year, with the bride remaining in the home of her father. Recalling the legal texts in Deuteronomy mentioned earlier plus the equation of David’s betrothal to Michal as marriage (2 Samuel 3:14), we see that under Jewish law, a betrothed woman was considered to be married.

Returning to Joseph's situation at this time, he would have paid the bride price to Mary’s father at their engagement (Matthew 1:20; Luke 1:27). During this bethrothal year, Mary became pregnant with Jesus by the Holy Spirit. In Matthew 1, it describes that when Joseph found out about this pegnancy, he was distraught and dismayed he sought to obtain a "quiet divorce" to avoid Mary being stone to death for adultery.

However, despite his serious misgivings, Joseph was ordered in a dream to marry Mary (Matthew 1:20). During this time of the formal bethrothal, Joseph and Mary had begun to live together except for sexual relations (Matthew 1:25). Hence, Joseph and Mary traveled to Bethlehem as a full husband and wife under ancient Jewish law.

I am attaching a copy of Matthew 1:18-25 with notes added in parentheses for a clearer understanding through the lens of our modern understanding.

Matthew 1

18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused (means they were married, but this was during the betrothal stage) to Joseph, before they came together (before they had sex), she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.

19 Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, (she would have been stoned to death for adultery) was minded to put her away privily (divorced quietly).

20 But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary as thy wife (telling him to go forward with the final stages of the marriage process): for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.

21 And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name Jesus: for he shall save his people from their sins.

22 Now all this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying,

23 Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us. (Emmanuel, which means "God is With Us" was more a descriptive term as opposed to an actual name per se. Jesus is referred to by many names in the Bible.)

24 Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife (this is when they went through the final stage of the marriage process):

25 And knew her not till she had brought forth her firstborn son (they did not have sex until after Jesus was born and then went on to have four sons noted below) and he called his name Jesus. (Keep in mind, in ancient times, couples did not have consummate their relationship immediately upon marriage, unlike in our world today where the couple seals their wedding through the wedding night sexual consummation. So Mary would have stayed a virgin for a period of time after the marriage.)

In time, Mary and Joseph had four other sons, Joseph, James, Jude, and Simon. Because of the virgin birth, Joseph was not the father of Jesus so these were the half brothers of Jesus. The last three mentioned are not to be confused with those who were disciples of Jesus by the same name.

This is clearly written and explained in the Bible. Unfortunately, detractors of God allow themselves to believe in their own superiority to the Divine, but ultimately only look foolish with their false claims and clever assumptions that are easily proven false. Don't fall victim to this type of ignorant thinking, no matter what your beliefs are.

-Julie O'Hara 2023