Why Is The Kissing Booth 3 So Bad?

I would give a disclaimer here about spoilers ahead but you clicked this article so I assume you have already been subjected to this slog of a finale.

I want to say upfront, I'm 90% sure I watched this film ironically but there is an off chance I enjoyed it but I will never admit it! Never!

Netflix says 1 in 3 people rewatched the Kissing Booth 1. 1 in 3! Who are you people? Are you okay?

Here is a list of reasons why this film sucks:

1. It is edited like a kids Youtube video

Now I'm not sure if you are familar with the KIDS side of Youtube but its all nausating colours and fast moving cuts. I'm talking way to many funky texts across the screen saying "GROSS" and "WOW" and everything in 230% saturation. The Kissing Booth had all of this. This was especially present in the summer bucket list sequence, can you say BRAIN FREEZE CONTEST. My roommate turned to me at the beginning of this sequence and said "I bet their bucket list is just ice-cream sundaes and pool parties." I'm pretty sure it ended up having both. This BESTIE montage makes me think of Jake Paul... and that's never a good thing.

2. The absurd logic used to justify peoples actions

Have you ever watched a film where for the sake of plot progression the producers write in a conflict that seems totally unrealistic? Like when the boyfriend gets mad because his gf answers a work call during dinner and he throws a fit and says IM NOT YOUR FIRST PRIORITY! Even though her boss said they would fire her if she didn't answer?! I'm looking at you sad boy from Devil Wears Prada.

In the Kissing Booth, Lee is angry at Elle for not getting into Berkley. That's right HES MAD. He doesn't even know she's lying about it so he gets mad purely because she wasn't 'good enough' to get in. THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT OF THE cringe Jake Paul Beach Bestie Bucket List is so Elle can 'make it up' to Lee that SHE didn't get in. Shouldn't he comfort her? Why is he throwing the tantrum?!

Speaking of, Noah saying 'why didn't you keep Marco out of our lives?' to Elle after she bumped into Marco in their local neighbourhood, SCREAMS Edward Cullen. Noah is so toxic, he tries to control the locals Elle casually runs into.

3. The dead-in-the-water chemistry between Noah and Elle

Okay so hear me out. They should have recast Noah after the first movie. The actors dated in real life and broke up after the first film and YOU CAN FEEL IT. The vibes are bad between them. That boy Noah does not want to be there. I think someone is standing backstage with a cattle prod, zapping Noah into performing. He has sad show monkey juggling in a cage vibes. Elle has more chemistry with Lee's mum tbh (Molly Ringwald yes please). Actually honestly, Noah and Marco have more chemistry (I mean those hot beach volleyball scenes).

4. They dared to give us a feminist ending JUST TO SNATCH IT AWAY

My roommate and I were literally cheering when Elle said goodbye to Noah. They part ways. They acknowledge it was young dumb love. She doesn't acknowledge his 800 red flags but it's good enough. She goes to a college without Lee or Noah. Makes her own DAM WAY! White Feminism YAY!

But...

6 years later she runs into Noah again and judging by the short haircut on Elle I was hoping for her to reveal herself as a lesbian icon (rule number 405: always support your bestie's coming out) but no. What do we get? A knowing smile and a locking of eyes that says 'I still love you.' NO BESTIE run from that man. HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT?!

JUST BECAUSE HE'S TALL DOESN'T MEAN HE'S 'THE ONE.'