3 ARTISTS to reference to look like you know what you're talking about

You walk into an art gallery and freeze up not knowing where to put your hands or your thoughts.

Your friend in their thrifted jumpsuit and oversized glasses points to a large painting of swirling colours and mutters something about the surrealism, you nod politely...

They are waiting for you to input something but you bring up last Sunday's brunch instead. Jumpsuit friend thinks your an absolute uncultured rookie. Could anything be worse.

I'M HERE TO HELP. I'm going to give you a couple artists (painters) to pull out next time jumpsuit friend is looking at you with expectant eyes. Maybe these will even be handy over a sophisticated dinner chat. I myself have faked being a woman of culture my entire life. I blame my parents they were fakers to. Now if its sculptors or photographers you are after I'm afraid I'll have to save that for another time, WE ARE KEEPING IT BASIC.

1. GEORGIA O'KEEFFE

So If you don't say it... I will... those flowers looks awfully like something else. Georgia O'Keeffe was famous for her close up flower depictions that look A LOT like female genitals which kind of appeared to be an act of feminism. However she denies such relations and says they are strictly floral. LOL. Her name is pronounced like Oh K EE F. Her other popular works are the skulls in the desert modeled on the New Mexico landscape where she lived in 1930. Personally I think all her animal skull paintings are badass and remind of of a barren futuristic land. She lived from 1887 - 1986. She was an American. The last painting I included has qualities like a Salvador Dali painting (daddy of sureallism) who often included those kinds of abstract swirly shapes, like the Pelvis. O'Keeffe was considered a modernist (1860-1970 art period estimation, don't quote me). Modernism was a response to the progressing world, it departed from the mundane religious and daily life subject matters. Modernism was all about expression. I wouldn't recommend going into art periods because that's where it gets messy. But if someone says the word, "modernism," now you know what they are kind of talking about. She's a cool chick and you should definitely say that.

How to use this: See something bright? "Reminds me of O'Keeffe's colours". See something with animal skulls? "Wow so O'Keeffe". Flowers? "Have you heard of O'Keeffe? I love her renditions of flowers". A bit of an abstract landscape? "Georgia O'Keeffe would of done something like this". If jumpsuit friend contests any of these statements, you say "It's just how I see it."

2. PAUL CEZANNE

Are you getting the idea that artists often don't have interesting titles, they call it like it is. If you are unsure what a still life is, it is an important type of art and is pretty basic and very common. Chances are if you take an art class, first thing you do will be a still life. All a still life is, is a work of art that depicts inanimate objects often arranged on a table and includes ordinary things like fruit, rocks, animal bones, vases, flowers, glasses etc. Now you may be thinking what the hell is a skull doing there?! Ordinary? Still life's became popular from the 1700's, so keep that in mind, skulls weren't as weird to find in the home as they are now and especially not for an artist who enjoyed doing a still life. Skulls have a nice depth, shadows and shapes.

Anyhow, Paul Cezanne was this french dude who was around from 1836-1906 and considered a post-impressionist and an impressionist. (Here's how to pronounce it - https://www.howtopronounce.com/cezanne ) Van Gogh was also a post-impressionist and as a movement it was basically a reaction to the "impressionists" (I know who would of thought). The impressionists were concerned with depicting light and colour accurately and naturally. Post-impressionists were like "SCREW THAT let's get weird." Hence Starry night by Van Gogh. Cezanne was on the edge of both, he had his tame still lifes but he also did vivid landscapes with heavy brushstrokes (Shown Below). Paul Cezanne bridged the gap between the two periods.

How to use this: See some very painterly brush strokes with little to no colour blending? "That looks so post-impressionist." See some flowers and fruit on a goddam table "Still life material" Someone mentions Van Gogh "I think Van Gogh is overrated, Cezanne gets totally ignored for fusing two art forms together." Maybe not that wordy but you get my drift.

3. Henri Matisse

Again, another french dude. He was around from 1869 - 1954. I won't be the first to say it but A LOT of famous painters were French (Monet and Manet - google it). Now I've included Matisse because he was around the time that Picasso was (1881-1973) Yeah that's right, Picasso only died in the 70's. However in my humble faking opinion Matisse is FAR BETTER than Picasso yet doesn't get the same level of praise. The two were friends and competitors, often their artworks were in response to each other, like a really weird drawn out conversation/argument. You can find many quotes of Picasso gushing over Matisse such as "In the end, everything depends on one's self, on a fire in the belly with a thousand rays. Nothing else counts. That is why, for example, Matisse is Matisse. . . . He's got the sun in his gut." Sounds like something straight out of an indie teen novel. Matisse is that quirky cool girl you can never quite pin down who smokes cigarettes behind the science block.

As for his paintings I've included The Goldfish and The Dance as some prime examples of very famous Matisse paintings. He does portraits too but the odd faces kind of spook me. An interesting point to note is that "The Circus" is a work made with cut outs, he cut out bits of paper and glued them down in ways to make a picture. This is something he did majority towards the end of his life because of old age and illness. Something used as a method of coping with deterioration made some of his most famous works.

How you can use this: Someone mentions Picasso, "personally I like Matisse better, he was the more interesting." Bright colours or cut out pieces, "reminds me of Matisse." Or straight up say "Matisse is one of my favourite artists." Be bold.

I wouldn't quote me on ALL the facts in this article, it's mainly a rough guide on how to appear you have some artistic knowledge by referencing someone other than Van Gogh or Picasso.