To The Cast of Game of Thrones

Dear Cast of Game of Thrones:

I would first like to state that each of you did such a beautiful job on your characters that I often forgot that they were in fact not you. That is the curse of an actor though. You use your amazing story-telling skills and your amazing ability to replicate any personality. Hopefully for only a short time though. Not in the way that I want you to stop your art all together because you're all beautiful. Let's be honest it was a sad day when the young man, your brother of the stage, Jack Gleeson decided to turn his back on something that he obviously had such a talent for doing.

I say this selfishly as a lover of your abilities because it may have been a choice between his art and destroying himself. In which case then I rejoice in their choices. If he picked his own self, his own peace, then I am so happy for you and hope you found beauty in the world after leaving a world of bright lights and fast lives.

To the rest of you my champions of your own lives and guiding lights for all those watching behind the flat screens; I am so proud of you for standing in your own strength.

For saying no I will not bare my chest in front of the entire world again so that you can have better ratings.

For saying that I am more than being seen as eye candy.

For saying that I am Khaleesi and she is me.

By doing this you are teaching every little girl who wants to chase the silver screen that she doesn't have to do so on her knees like the world has lead her to believe. You show her though that if she wants to she has every right to because she is a human being and she is free to do so. You show her that we have no master in this world and therefore only answer to ourselves. I hope they learn though that when you lose yourself too deeply in another, and when you lose yourself to your own chaos, then you not only do you destroy yourself but all others around you.

In saying that you are more than your height, although that makes you appear different than others, you are not. You are unique my super star please do not get me wrong. I have great pride in your voice and your ability to not only know things but also admit you have your vices. That being said you are just like me, you are a human being although our views of the world might be different. I do wish to ask though, how do we fix Hollywood for all actors that do not fit the standard European beauty standard? I don't just mean those who don't fall in line with the worlds perceived height requirement, (although you're correct in saying that this notion that you have to be a certain height to ride the ride of life is bullshit) but all those who have been told they are not beautiful enough? That their skin color was not what the director wanted or that their teeth were not straight enough. For the short stint that I spent in acting my teacher gave us a heavy dose of realism. He stated that sometime people in this world were meant to be the beautiful leading role and others the funny side kick. Don't get me wrong I know he isn't completely mistaken, but when I was a only about 17 and he said to me that he would never cast me as leading role with a scoff all I could hear was "You are not pretty enough to be loved, to be the star of your show". I didn't cry in front of him. Instead I laughed it off because I respected him too much to be weak in front of him, but it was my respect for him that broke me even more. So as a funny looking chubby nerdy girl with big glasses and messy hair, I ask how do we show the world that we are wrong? That we are the stars in our story. Personally I am trying to just be honest with myself and the world. Show the uglier parts of me so my soul shines through. Hopefully it isn't my own damnation since we know how easy it is for others to extinguish your light when they too are lost in the dark.

To the man that knows nothing. Oh how many times have I uttered these words to myself and others. In truth you are all of us. We know nothing because we believe we know everything. At least Snow did not take this mind set with him on his travels. Rather than acting like a fool in his journey and ignoring all those who tried to guide, he listened. He did not only take their words though. He used his past experiences, friends, advisors, and at times even enemies to face his challenges. Now that ladies and gents, is a man that I would proudly crown the True King of the North!! Let's all face it though, Snow could never see his true strength as a leader. Perhaps was that his true strength? He never believed he was strong enough to do so alone so he listened when he knew that he indeed knew nothing.

Sansa, oh sweet Sansa. What a sad lost lonely little girl just trying to make her way through an often unforgiving world. I will never understand why people give this portrayal so much hate, unless maybe because when they look at her and her decisions they see themselves. They see a victim, someone who has been broken and beaten by the world around them. Someone who sees this by things outside themselves, by mistakes they felt they had no choice but to make. They see how she hardened and some hate her for it. This is life though, like the pokemon we must sometime harden ourselves over and over before we can become a butterfree. Does that make your soul any less beautiful? To me I only see a reflection of myself, however unlike Sansa I do not wish to only see value in the North. I see it in all of us. Even those who have and will hurt me in this life.

To the villains we loved to hate. I hope each of you are happy and receive appreciation for your interpretation without being damned for their sins. We are well aware you never removed another man's member for the pure joy of it even if we don't always show it. And sir your portrayal in the Misfits is easily one of my favorites of all times. I promise I will do my best to listen to your music again. It has been so long, I can't remember your words and frankly my sweet I like to remember the bard far more than the villain these days.

To nobody, I do not have many sweet nothings to whisper in your ear my love. Your character was strong, proud, willing to learn and saved the day from the darkness even though it was inevitably snuffed out by another. I of course wish you had done so peacefully, but I understand the need to protect your family and avenge yourself. Just don't destroy yourself and all those around you by doing so.

BRIENNE OF TARTH!! My champion! A woman who did not care how the world saw her because she knew she was strong enough to hold up her own weight. The woman who stopped trying to be a princess and became a warrior. I see everything I want myself to be in you. I want to not care if others think I am beautful, or strong, or smart because I fucking know I am. Because I am Brienne of Fucking Tarth!! I love your soul more than you know my sweets. Not as an idol but as a person who I want to be like. Someone who can be your greatest enemy but also be willing to listen and be your ally. A woman willing to long for love but not die on her own sword for it. A teacher to those with more advantages than her, and someone who can hopefully lift up those with voices smaller than mine. Because although they have less, or the world says they are less, or they think they are less, that is not the fucking case. YOU ARE THE CHAMPION!! Stop looking at yourself like you are anything less than. I love you and not just the character you portrayed. Because you follow in her foots step or at least to the best of your abilities. Let's face it my love we are all human. I love you so much you beautiful sunshine. Maybe together we can save the world.

Last to the one eyed crow. Sir you frustrated the hell out of me. I get it, you had your own storyline to follow. It had to be separate than the others because sometimes we must all walk this planet alone but come on!!! You could have tried to help man. I don't mean this criticism to Mr. Wright because he did a beautiful job. As someone who sees her own visions in the form of causation and correlation, I find it so frustrating that he knew what would happen and yet watched the world burn. I understand why he did it. Sometimes the need of many outweighs the needs of one. However, I personally say fuck that, I live in both worlds; the one in my head and this one. I find every possible way I can think of tell all my agents of chaos that I love them and we will be okay. I try my best to guide them with the hope that it will lead us all out of the dark together.

To each of you my agents of chaos including those that were not mentioned above I ask that you maybe consider this. Maybe we are replicating our characters actions not just on the big screen but in this life too. Perhaps we are fighting amongst ourselves for our individual kingdoms. Though despite our own causes as justified they are, they will cause us to fight alone.

I remember several years ago when you all met together with red clown noses on your faces. You laughed and shared each others company. Remember what a difference you made for the world by fighting together rather than alone. I am not asking you to back one cause, I am asking you to do something even harder. Back them all!! Listen to as many informed voices as you can to become informed yourself. Listen to those that are struggling either because they do not feel strong, or beautiful, or smart enough. Make them see that they are heard by listening and sharing your experiences but more or so listening to every view even if it does not match your own. We are all broken children making dumb mistakes in this world, and you have the experience to help guide. When you fight for each others causes but also battle your own ego, that's when you show every little kid with their eyes glued to screens how to become a hero just like you.

If we came together with all of our plights as friends we could try and find a happy middle group for all of us. We might not all get everything we want from the deal, but what you will get is an apology. An acknowledgment of all the wrongs you have faced, but also a toast to all the triumphs. Because if we could all be friends then we could all meet as equals. We cannot go back in this life but we can try and move forward. Maybe then we would have conversations, lessons of life and feasts in large banquet halls that take place in beautiful place across the world rather than the one sided ones I have with you inside my head. I love you all and all those who helped give us the magic that is Game of Thrones, including its creator who worked tirelessly behind a keyboard to bring this world out of his head and to the paper for us.

Love always your dearest friend

Celestial Deadbeat

A song for all my friends: Phantom Limb by The Shins

https://open.spotify.com/track/3NPiFBw3mA9qbJfo0nhk6X?si=827e4f0de7034204