Celestial Deadbeat
Bio
The simple answer to the question of who am I is this. I am the perfect mixture of love and chaos. The sweet spot between the songs Drops of Jupiter by Train and Eternal Summer by The Strokes. I won't be perfect but it will be a fun ride.
Stories (9/0)
To The Men In My Life
To all the heroes in my life, To the man who picked me the first time around and continues to do so. My sweets, I love you so much. You are the strength that I need when I feel like my world is falling apart. Thank you for showing me what it means to be loved and how to love properly. I will try each day to make you proud of the person I am becoming.
By Celestial Deadbeat 2 years ago in Families
Goddess in the Water
You're not supposed to remember it. You know being a baby, being swaddled by your mother, or crying your eyes out because you are cranky, hungry, and cold. Maybe I wouldn't have if the story wasn't so tragic. Maybe I wouldn't be haunted by the nightmares that took place long before I could even walk, let alone talk if someone would have just listened to me.
By Celestial Deadbeat 2 years ago in Humans
To The Cast of Game of Thrones
Dear Cast of Game of Thrones: I would first like to state that each of you did such a beautiful job on your characters that I often forgot that they were in fact not you. That is the curse of an actor though. You use your amazing story-telling skills and your amazing ability to replicate any personality. Hopefully for only a short time though. Not in the way that I want you to stop your art all together because you're all beautiful. Let's be honest it was a sad day when the young man, your brother of the stage, Jack Gleeson decided to turn his back on something that he obviously had such a talent for doing.
By Celestial Deadbeat 2 years ago in Geeks
Freedom at the Cost of Pride
I have a controversial message to inform you of my dears and I apologize beforehand. Do keep in mind that at any time you are free to stop reading. You have a choice because you have the freedom to do so. Though I do fear that if you stop reading, much like the beloved characters in Lemony Snicket's books, we will be doomed to face a Series of Unfortunate Events. Alas, it is still indeed your own choice to continue on.
By Celestial Deadbeat 2 years ago in Humans
Dear Mr. West
Dear Mr. West I know this is such a formal way to address someone when you are doing so in such an informal way. That part is unfortunate, but as you don't know me and will probably never actually meet me, this is how things must go. So at the risk of making it on your hit list right behind Peppa Pig, here we go. I have observed you from afar much of my life. See I enjoyed music all of my life and used it as a way to hide from my pain, and to overcome some of my darkest fears. I also used it as a teacher, a guide for mundane things like how to live my life, how to remember multiplication tables, or even how to add fractions together. Music has always been a crucial part of my life as I am sure in its own parallel way it has been for you. Although I loved the music I hardly remembered the artist but rather my love for the song, the vibe, and the beauty in their words.
By Celestial Deadbeat 2 years ago in Psyche
Living In My Truth
I am thinking a lot about how I want my voice to come out. What message I want to send out into this world. I keep preaching a balance of love and chaos to you, but I fear like the many others before me, my message will become twisted into something else. I fear others will read into things that were never actually there to begin with. We are human and that is what we do. I fear that my past will come back to haunt me as it always does and the person I was will prevent others from seeing the person I am becoming. I fear that the lies that I once told myself and others will cloud my current truth and cause no one to ever believe me again.
By Celestial Deadbeat 2 years ago in Humans
The Power of Our Words
Dear everyone who knows who I was and yet still chooses to see who I am becoming: Words are such a funny thing. They can build a person up or break them down into little pieces. The meaning for one word in one place means something very different to someone else. It can even tell you where they’re from and who was influential in their life. The power of words can move mountains or at times it can fall on deaf ears. I remember a day in Mrs. Lewiss' Freshman English class. The sun was coming into the window and warmed my hands and forearms leaving the rest of me shivering from the icy air conditioner I was always forced to sit under. Almost out of compulsion I rolled up my sweatshirt sleeves even though the act only caused me to shiver more. I ran my fingers through my long brown wavy hair as my teacher rambled on about words and their meaning. “Pop” her voice echoes around the room drawing my gaze away from the window and back to her. “What the hell is pop” exclaimed Beth her face scrunched in confusion as if she had never heard the word in her life. “Coke” cried, Sarah. “Ewe, Coke is gross" said Kyle, "Mountain Dew is by far the best", he continued. The class erupted as each student announced their champion for the sugary fizzy beverage. I stayed silent thinking how funny it was that we all knew what we were talking about even though the name has changed. “A rose by any other name” whispers in my mind as I start recounting all the names. “Soda, soda pop, pop, Coke, Pepsi” and a plethora of other names danced in my mind as Mrs. Lewis rambled on about sociology and how words have different meanings in different places of the world. I started thinking about how many other words had other meanings like this. What did a name really mean if anything at all? Did words really matter at all or was it the way we say the word? I still think about this sometimes. To me, a word will be more than just an accumulation of letters combined together, but rather a feeling. It’s the experience behind that word and the way we use them to color in the pictures of our stories. For me, pop will always remind me about Mrs. Lewis on a chilly spring day and Shakespeare. It’s that day that I think about when I am picking my words carefully, and it is when I found my superpower. When I am trying to tell someone I love them, or when we're barking at one another I try to think of the power my words have. The pictures that they paint and feelings that they stir inside others. This day taught me the power of words so that when Ally calls me at 2 am saying she can’t take it anymore I can be there. I know the power of my words now, so that someday maybe I can save the day even if just for one person.
By Celestial Deadbeat 2 years ago in Humans
Celestial Deadbeat vs. First Amendment Junkie
Dear First Amendment Junkie: I've been doing a lot of reflection lately. A deeper look into who I am as a person rather than the labels we all put on ourselves. You know the ones! What is being a woman? Am I too much like a man? Am I too old? Am I too young? Should I be ashamed of the color of my skin? Should I be ashamed of who I love? What about the ways and things I enjoy during sex?
By Celestial Deadbeat 2 years ago in Humans
We Make Eachother Monsters
Dear Serial Alien: You were always right. We were a terrible match, a tornado that would rip each other apart just by being ourselves. You were the monster I said you were, but what I should have said was I was too. You were giant at times, larger than life. Other times your mouth would fill with bile and spit poison back at me. Your eyes were red and glowed as they wandered astray and you lusted for another. I made you this god-like creature and then chastised you for it. I cannot say how truly sorry I am. Not because I'm happy now, but because I made you a monster when I am one too. And not in the way that you are, but something worse. I was a tall long ghostly figure, absent of life and passion, and sucked it out of others without even knowing that I was doing so. On my face was a reflective mask that showed only what I thought you wanted to see. I hide parts of myself because I was scared. I made myself a victim because that was all I saw myself as. You deserved better and yet so did I. Not only did you hurt me and I hurt you, but we both hurt ourselves. We were our own monsters as well as each others.
By Celestial Deadbeat 2 years ago in Humans
