The Woman in the House Across the Street from the Girl in the Window

Before my 🤯, I rarely watched TV. People who really know me, know this.

So when someone who has known me for over twenty years hits me up via Facebook Messenger and says to watch a particular show and get back to him (Hey Peado!!! 😁)…

…of course I did it.

I trusted this man’s suggestion so much that I just went straight to Netflix and hit play.

But first I made sure I was all settled in with my 🌱💨 and my water, then I hit play.

I hit play without reading the full description of this series or even studying the photo used to advertise the series.

All of that to say, I watched about seventy five percent of this entire series NOT REALIZING IT WAS A COMEDY!!! 🤦🏻‍♀️

I KNOW! In hindsight, there were so many clues.

First clue that I didn’t miss, per se, I just blatantly ignored it, was that title.

Yes, when I first read it the rhythm of it was reminiscent of that old 1996 parody movie:“Don’t Be A Menace To Society While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood”.

Yet and still, my behind was still goin into the freakin series thinkin it was an actual drama.🙄🤦🏻‍♀️🤣

So, when Kristen Bell’s character explained that she suffered from ombrophobia (an irrational fear of the rain) and then we see her literally lying in the middle of the street in the pouring rain…

…my simple ass was confused 🤔, but yet I still had no idea it was a comedy.

•When she grabbed the Pyrex dish from out the oven without potholders…nope not then either.

⏸ing briefly for a moment to address that blasphemous monstrosity that they called a chicken casserole. It looked dry and bland and colorless like it was registered to vote in Mitt Romney’s congressional district. My bad for inserting politics into an otherwise bipartisan blog, but if any of y’all can think of anything else that was more pale and/or dry and tasteless feel free to name it.

Back to the show…

…🙋🏻‍♀️Ol girl sure did have a whole heap of Pyrex casserole dishes didn’t she? Again, I just thought that was normal.

::schedules extra time with therapist::

What? I thought the wine 🍷 goblet was normal too 🤣. I actually was impressed that a whole bottle of wine fit in one glass and thought about purchasing some from Amazon, but Ion drink.

Yes I typed “ion drink”.

But one would think I was stone cold drunk watching this miniseries because yeah…

…the gruesome retelling of the how her daughter was killed…I completely missed the humor in that, and was honestly completely horrified.

I said to myself, I’d drink goblets of wine a day too if my child was murdered like that.

•I wouldn’t trust my ex-husband to prescribe me medication, but not for nothin, I wouldn’t trust my ex-husband to pick up my medication from the pharmacy. 🤣And I’m not trying to be mean, but when we first got married & he was in the Air Force when he filled out my paperwork so that I could get my dependent ID card he had my height a full half a foot taller, my weight a hundred pounds lighter, and my date of birth was listed in February. I was born in November 😐. So um yeah there’s that.

Anyhow, anywho…going back to errythang I missed or ignored in this miniseries.

•The body being thrown off the lighthouse 🤣🤣🤣🤷🏻‍♀️. I was just like 😳😱. But yeah, completely freaking normal to me 🤦🏻‍♀️.

My right hand to God, the point in the miniseries when I FINALLY realized it was a comedy are you ready….???

…wait for it

was when this guy….

…pulled the gat damn ventriloquist dummy out of the trunk… I stood UP in the middle of my room pointed to the TV and shouted:

WHAT THE F*CK IS THIS?!!!

Then I laughed until I cried for over an hour; and I swear I burned calories while forming an ab muscle.

Then I was pissed 😤, but continued watching anyway because now I’m freaking emotionally invested & what not.

🚨 What I’m about to say will be more than off color or politically incorrect, and I’ll only half apologize for it because I mean it. I wish a nine year old would jump on my back like a psycho Chuckie doll & stab me. 😐 The nine year old would get kicked in the skull until he/she/it no longer was breathing FOH. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Will I watch season two?

Guess y’all will have to subscribe to my blog and find out.

✌🏼💜💨

Peace, Love, Exhale.