The Timelessness of Circle Time

My wife and I don’t watch television very much. There have actually been times where we’ve gone up to two weeks without turning it on at all. Now and then, however, we get the urge to watch a movie. Of course, we have an assortment of movies we own and watch once a year or so, but occasionally we’ll watch something new.

We also have binge-watched certain shows. The ones that come to mind are “That 70s Show” and “The Ranch.” To me, they are basically the same format. Not only do we have a lot of the same actors in both shows, but we also have circle time. In “That 70s Show,” circle time comes with a haze of smoke. None of the characters are ever actually seen smoking weed, but it’s assumed that’s what they’re doing. In “The Ranch,” they just swap the weed for whiskey. Also, they both feature cranky old men with goofy kids…or younger adults. My wife and I just love these shows. I've even included a recent endorsement influenced by "That 70s Show" at the end of this writing!

Another show my wife and I have binge-watched is “Everybody Loves Raymond.” It doesn’t matter what kind of sense of humor you have, this show is very funny and seems to have laughs for everybody. We didn’t even know about this show until we saw some clips at a Couples Retreat with our church. The guest speaker had several clips that worked well with the marriage theme he was promoting. The clips made us laugh so naturally my wife and I sought the show out when we got home.

We also have other shows we binge-watch on our own. I have binge-watched “The Andy Griffith Show,” “Northern Exposure,” and “Law and Order,” um, all of them to include the “SVU” and “Criminal Intent” variations. There are other shows on my list to binge-watch eventually if I can find them. These include “Riptide” and “Simon and Simon.” I’m sure to add many more as time goes and perhaps I have more time to go with it.

Lately, I’ve been binge-watching “Criminal Minds.” It’s not a serious binge, but rather an excuse to wind down after working so late into the night. I’ll watch one or two…or three…occasionally four…I’ve done five shows at a single sitting. There’s a lot of these shows so I’ll be doing this for a while since I’m only in Season five. It’s one of those shows that make me think.

I either like shows that really really make me think or else shows that allow me to not think at all. The not thinking shows are for when I just need an escape from reality for a while. These include the first shows I listed as well as certain movies. “Dumb and Dumber” comes to mind for the no thinking involved shows. So does “Joe Dirt” or almost anything with Adam Sandler. These shows are just pure entertainment and unreal enough to qualify for absolutely no expended brain cells.

Bottom line is, we live at a time where we don’t necessarily have to wait a week for the next episode of many shows. We can just wait out the season and watch them all at once. Also, it’s not a big deal if we miss an episode of anything…we can just watch it “On Demand” the next day or so.

We’ve really come a long way from having only two or three stations to choose from. I almost miss the days where you had to adjust the piece of foil wrapped around the antenna to get the least amount of snow on the television screen. Well, maybe not.

Now for the endorsement I promised!

ELECTION YEAR 2020 (MY ENDORSEMENT)

Well, it’s that time again. Presidential candidates are coming out of the woodwork, all promising things they probably, or won’t deliver on. Every four years, we get our hopes up, then spend the next four years wondering why? We may have our favorites, we may lean right or we may lean left, we may flip a coin every election because we don’t like any of them (my wife and I did this once), or we may just not care and stay away from voting. No matter what we do, we are all affected by the results.

Even though I’ve said a couple of times that I would avoid politics, I just couldn’t do that when I heard about this candidate. He is, by far, the most enticing candidate I’ve ever come across. He’s basic, he’s simple, he’s opinionated, and he hates most everybody. He’s Red Foreman and he has a basic message for everybody…

“A beer in every hand, a foot in every ass.” How can you not get behind that message? I mean, as a cheesehead originally from Wisconsin, the beer is a given. As far as a foot in every ass? Personally, I think that’s what a lot of people need, especially the current politicians hiding out in DC…or even in our state capitals…heck, even in our city and town halls! School boards! Utility boards! Student presidents…ok, maybe a little too far, but you get the picture. Who wouldn’t benefit from a good foot in the ass? It’s a needed commodity these days!

People like Red Foreman are a rare breed nowadays. With him, you know what you’re going to get! If you try to terrorize anybody…foot in the ass! If you try to steal our children…foot in the ass! If you try to cheat everybody else out of what’s theirs…foot in the ass! Shoot somebody without provocation…foot in the ass! Take my beer…yes, you got it, foot in the ass! Can you just imagine Red Foreman in the White House?

AIDE: Mr. President, Sir?

PRESIDENT RED: What is it now? The Packers are on!

AIDE: The country of Kelso just launched a rocket into space!

PRESIDENT RED: Those dumbasses? They couldn’t even get a rocket out of their ass! (2nd aide comes running into the office).

2ND AIDE: The rocket crashed!

PRESIDENT RED: See? Dumbasses.

1ST AIDE: Should we send someone to find out what happened?

PRESIDENT RED: Why should we care?

2ND AIDE: Sir, we need to…

PRESIDENT RED: Fine, fine! Send the foreign kid. They can be dumbasses together. And while you’re up, get me a beer, will you? I hope I didn’t miss the opening kick-off because of this! They’re playing the Bears for God’s sake!

1ST AIDE: Um, Sir? The, um, foreign kid, um, Fez, is still in the Amazon where you sent him last week? You told him there were pie and candy there?

PRESIDENT RED: Oh, yes, that’s right. Well, do I have to do all the thinking around here? Fine, send that mouthy girl, the one who won’t shut up. She seems to get through to Kelso. Now get me my beer before I put my…

1ST AIDE: …Foot in my ass? Yes Sir.

See how smooth that went? No committees, no meetings, no gathering of the Security Council, just Red Foreman. There’s not much he can’t handle. Except for Kitty, his wife. She is the balancing force needed for Red Foreman to be successful.

FIRST LADY KITTY: Red? There’s a group of school children here to see the Oval Office! How exciting!

PRESIDENT RED: Again? There was a group yesterday, and I think half of them were hopped up on…

FIRST LADY KITTY: Oh, Red! They’re just children! Haha haha!

PRESIDENT RED: Oh, Kitty. That’s what you said about Eric and his friends and they’re all hopheads!

FIRST LADY KITTY: Oh, Red! There was just that one time in the basement! That was years ago in the 70s!

PRESIDENT RED (softening his look because that’s the effect Kitty has on him): You’re probably right, honey. Hey! What’s that on the lawn? Are they having circle time? On the White House lawn? That’s it! No more Mr. Nice Guy! I’m going to put both of my feet…

FIRST LADY KITTY: …In their collective asses? Oh, Red! Haha haha! We need a cake!

There you go! The perfect couple for the White House! Everything has three simple solutions. Beer, foot in the ass, and cake. The trifecta of world peace! I know how I’m going to vote…unless, of course, he has Bob Pinciotti as his running mate…can you imagine?

VICE PRESIDENT BOB: Hey there, hi there, ho there!

But then again, if Midge came back to him…