Roman's Aunt Flo

by Monique Star 9 months ago in fan fiction

Roman is out of commission and most of the others can't grasp why

Warnings: upset Patton, swears, Roman being ftm

(inspired by the above video)

Patton was standing outside of Roman's room so he could be around in case Roman needed him since he was the part of the month where he wasn't in the best shape. However, Remus came stomping down the hall viciously.

Remus: The Dragon Witch is bitching for a fight! Where's that benevolent brother of mine?

Patton: *shushing Remus* Sorry, Remus, but this isn't a good time.

Remus: What are you talking about? I offered to fight them, but they demand Roman!

Patton: Well, tell the Dragon Witch to wait a few days. Roman is occupied with a "visitor."

Remus: A "visitor?" Ooh, spill the deets. What kind of "visitor?"

Patton: *groaning* His Aunt Flo is clinging on to him.

Remus: *unsatisfied* Bullshit! We don't have an Aunt Flo!

While Patton was trying to tame Remus, Virgil appeared from right behind the evil twin.

Virgil: Hey, Pop Star. Is Roman in there? He was supposed to help give me some wardrobe recommendations and I'm worried he's bailing on me.

Patton: *already aware of the reason behind the arrangement* Sorry, Virgil, but you'll have to reschedule your date for another time.

Remus: *smirking*

Virgil: *blushing* It's not a date!

Patton: Well, whatever it is you're planning with your crush, he's riding the cotton pony right now, if you catch my drift.

Virgil: Wait, so he's ditching me for horseback riding in the Imagination?

Patton: No! That's not what it me-

Virgil: You know! If he wanted to find something better to do, he could've just said so!

Logan came jogging towards the group just as Virgil finished his sentence.

Logan: Where's Roman? I already worked out Thomas's schedule for various projects and errands. All I need is Roman to provide the material and motivation.

Patton: *looks over the schedule* That's for weeks in advance, Logan! Surely you can allow Thomas to have a break. As of now, Roman is... dealing with some crimson struggles right now.

Logan: Roman has synesthesia? Never mind, he needs to pull his weight around here!

Patton: *to Logan* He's done more than enough already, Logan! *to everyone* If you all think you can't have someone else fill his role on your demands, then come back in about... five days at least. *muttering* Maybe four if it's light.

Everyone was talking at once over Patton and ignored the paternal side as he was trying to explain the situation. Suddenly, a very angry prince kicked the door off its hinges.

Roman: *shouting* Everyone! Shut the hell up! Can't a prince get some peace and quiet anymore?

Everyone was talking over each other again and Roman showed more anger and discomfort.

Roman: *through gritted teeth* If I follow your demands, will you at least pretend to give a fuck about me?

Logan: *looking confused* Um, sure?

Roman: *while shoving his way through the group* Then get the fuck out my way!

The group watched as Roman took off toward the doorway to the Imagination. The three looked confused, but Patton looked angry.

Logan: Well, at least Roman's pulling his weight around here.

Patton: *grumbling* I suppose if Roman was a cis woman instead of a trans man, you'd all listen to me!

The group looked at each other confused by Patton's remark until they froze and their eyes widened.

Logan: Wait! You mean he's—

Patton: No offense, but I think Sherlock would've realized sooner.

Virgil: Well, why didn't you tell us?

Patton: I did! Three times! I even gave you all an estimated time frame!

After several minutes, Roman stomped towards the group from the common area with some items in his grip.

Roman: *after shoving a catalog on Virgil's chest* Merch associated with Daniel Howell! *after shoving a notebook on Logan's chest* Enough ideas to make it through a few months! *after shoving a big knife on Remus's chest* That snake that usually up your butt is up the ass of the Dragon Witch's corpse, so that knife might be useful.

Everyone else looked at the items and at Roman terrified.

Roman: A deal is a deal! Now will you let me take my painkillers and get some fucking sleep?

Roman went to his room, but slammed the door before Virgil could speak up.

fan fiction
Monique Star
Monique Star
Read next: Best Customizable Games
Monique Star

I'm not the most sophisticated adult out there. I'm also not the best at communicating all the time, but I do try my best to get my thoughts out there into the world verbally or nonverbally.

See all posts by Monique Star