Robert Conrad will always be in my heart as Jim from "The Wild Wild West".

The Wild Wild West was a television series that ran from September 17, 1965 to April 11, 1969. During those 4 years I was in love with Robert Conrad who portrayed the title character James West. I was only 7 years old but my heart wanted what my heart wanted and he was my first crush. During those days there were no black male role models on television and my cousins and I had many crushes over time on white male television characters. We did not see race, we just saw cute guys on the TV screen. Jim West, however, was the first and I never truly got over him. Robert Conrad had the deepest, piercing blue eyes and when he strutted his stuff in that form-fitting blue suit with his matching blue hat tipped to the side, I melted.

I eagerly awaited each week for the new episodes and every time Jim West was presumed dead or in danger, I cried. I had never seen a man that I thought to be so pretty, who was also a swashbuckling hero. I cheered when he defeated the bad guys and screamed with glee when he got the girl and gave her a kiss. I would imagine myself in the role and the one whose lips were locked with his. Even many decades later, watching the reruns my heart would still flutter as Jim and his loyal friend Artemis Gordon saved the day. I did not have posters, and neither did I join a fan club. From age 7-11 as a shy girl from the county I had no knowledge of such things.

What I did know, however, was that my heart skipped a beat each time Jim was on TV. My stomach fluttered with butterflies and I knew I was in love. During the final season, my three cousins who lived nearby were without a television set. We were poor African Americans, living in homes without running water or indoor plumbing. There was not immediate money for their grandma or parents to purchase another television so they came to my house. Along with my brothers, we gathered around the TV once a week to enjoy the television series The Wild Wild West. The theme song still moves me even today.

We four girls would giggle with delight each time Robert Conrad's character was in a scene. When the show was over we talked about how cute he was, saying that we each wished we could date him when we grew up. It never occurred to us that as we grew up, Robert Conrad would become older. In our hearts and minds, he would always be Jim West. When we went outside to play games with the boys, my brother Bill would always say that he wanted to be "Wild Wild West". This is how he referred to Robert Conrad's character. I would argue with him that he could not be "Wild Wild West" because he was my brother and I was going to marry Jim West when I grew up.

From the age of 7 until I was 11, while I was in love with Jim West I had never heard about hormones or foolish little girls with crushes. All I knew is that I was in love for those 4 years specifically, and the feelings were so strong that it hurt sometimes. On several occasions when I missed an episode of The Wild Wild West I would lie in bed holding my pillow and cry until I coughed. I miss the innocence of those days where love was in the air and children did not have hooking up, on their minds, but simply dreaming of their favorite celebrity. We did not have the internet so we had to learn as we grew to a coming of age point.

During those young impressionable years I had crushes on Michael Jackson, David Cassidy and other guys I considered as dreamboats. For whatever reason, I have never gotten over my feelings for Jim West, his blue suit and hat and what I those beautiful blue bedroom eyes. As Robert Conrad aged and I saw him in other televisions programs I thought I was over my childhood crush, but a few years ago I found out differently. The METV channel began airing reruns of The Wild Wild West and as I watched each episode, I was no longer a 60 something adult woman. I was once again an impressionable young elementary school age girl, still in love with his popular character, Jim West.