No Longer Normal

Patton looked outside the window while everyone else went to the real world to help Thomas with a dilemma. He wished he could go outside and enjoy 68 fresh air and wide open spaces of the Imagination. One of the reasons he repressed emotions in the past was actually a reason he was glad no one saw him longingly looking out the window: he would suffocate from so many questions smothering him that he would know how to react or what to say or what the reactions would be. He stared out the window before tugging on the sleeves of his cat hoodie. He knew of the risks, but even a part of Thomas could only be cooped up in a house for so long before going crazy. He properly put the cat hoodie on himself (grateful that the fabric of the hoodie was strong) and placed his hands in his pockets before heading out the door.

Patton felt the fresh air of the Imagination brush him with a decent temperature that didn't provide any signs of a scorcher, yet wasn't too cold for him to wish his hoodie was as thick as Virgil's jacket. He felt tempted to look up at the sky to feel the sun's warmth that he missed so much, but the newly increased sensitivity of his skin was a reminder that he couldn't give in to the temptation. On one hand, he knew that the reason he was out of the house was to take the risk and pretend that he was still normal while reuniting with activities that he missed. On the other hand, he knew that he was no longer normal and still had to play it safe without anyone else finding out.

Although he was wearing his glasses, he found himself subtly unable to navigate his was through the brightness of the day. Before he bumped into a few trees, he even noticed some headaches appear from out of nowhere, not that they made him feel better about bumping into several trees. Patton face-palmed both out of dissatisfaction towards his outing by far and to change his glasses into prescription shades. He looked at the tree that was before him and noticed that it had apples in it. He reached for one and bit his pointed teeth into the apple. The bite looked normal on his apple, but it wasn't enough to strengthen the illusion that he was still normal. He felt another headache and he felt pain in his stomach that felt as if he hadn't eaten in days even though he took a bite out of a Granny Smith. All he wanted was burger cooked rare and someone with a shoulder he could cry into, firm arms he could feel secure in, and a sweet voice to tell him that things would be okay. He leaned against the tree that was protecting him from the rays of the sun. For some reason, his mind wandered to the questions that he frequently asked Logan when they weren't busy filming and found himself able to answer the questions the teacher was too annoyed to answer. Another headache was attached to the new acknowledgement and Patton started to speedwalk to the best of his ability while feeling like he was being pushed to the ground bit by bit.

By the time he made it home, he felt a burning on his hands and the top of his head, but he pushed that knowledge to the side when he saw Logan reading a book.

"Logan! Guess what?" he shouted, as he made his way to the bookworm.

"What is it this time, Patton?" Logan asked, anticipating another dad joke.

"I'm not an airhead!" Patton told him.

Logan was surprised by the outcome being different and looked up at the animal lover.

"I'm not an airhead!" Patton said again, but removed the shades from his face to reveal ladybug-red eyes.

Logan was about to get up, but he stopped when he heard another yell.

"I'm not an airhead! I'm a freak of nature! Don't stoop to the snake's level! We all know you never really liked me, even when you were happier! You only tolerated me because taking away my impact would damage Thomas in more ways than you were willing to admit! Well, guess what? I have more brains in my head than the ones used to fuel my puns, but, good news, you still have a reason to not like me!"

While Patton was shouting, Logan noticed the extra details that he didn't seem to really care about: the burned hands, the crimson irises that matched his tear-soaked eyes, how slightly paler Patton's skin was that he was too wrapped up in his work to notice before, even the sobs and anger in his voice that sounded like they served as daggers scratching his throat. Patton rushed off to his room and Logan found himself stunned, not only by the cry for help that even he could acknowledge, but the realization that he had contributed to so much pain within such a sweet man that he knew was bright in his own way.

Logan ignored the Disney-related banter that came from the other two who had just walked in and made his way to Patton's room. The door was cracked, so he was able to gently push his way into the room and smelled a metallic stench as he saw a sobbing Patton in bed who was eating what looked like chili. Patton looked at the bowl as he was eating and it took several footsteps before Logan could understand that the meat in the chili was raw.

"I never would've thought you'd actually feel genuine concern," Patton mumbled without looking up at Logan.

Logan felt guilty as he deciphered the words.

"Patton, about what you said, if I knew—I mean, if I was more empathetic...I wish I knew—"

"Logan, do you really mean it or are you only doing this to make yourself feel better?"

"I really mean it, Patton. I know I don't look like I care, but I do care. I want to make things right and be there for you however I can, but I'm not always that great at expressing emotions on the outside. You don't have to forgive me, but if you're willing to let me, I want to be here for you."

Patton could tell that Logan was genuine and could also tell that the egghead had his speculations on why Patton was different. Although he was partially surprised that Logan would actually notice, he set his chili bowl to the side and slowly hugged the egghead. Tears stung the man's eyes as they made their way to Logan's tie.

"I'm not normal, not anymore," he tried to explain.

"Shh, we'll discuss it later, Patton. Right now, though, let's focus on your need for comfort," Logan retorted.

Patton never would've imagined that his hero would have a softer side to him, but he knew very well that he was going to show Logan so much gratitude for sharing it.