My Slightly Perfect-er Way to Watch the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU)

So. I have a confession to make. I don’t really care that much about the MCU and I literally wrote that title for clickbait (aka SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMISATION BABY!!!! 🙄). I will, however, give you my perfect way to watch the films, so if you are here for that please scroll to the end. If you’re now slightly intrigued as to what on Earth I think I’m playing at, then please, dear reader, skip nothing.

I’ve come to the conclusion that far too many people believe they can write. Out of the many things the internet is responsible for, that has to be in the top 50. Below James Corden, above cats (cats were our masters well before we started humiliating them at pianos). I also include my own writing in that by the way.

Writing is hard, punishing work which bares your soul to grammar Nazis or, worst of all, an absolute lack of engagement. Far too many people just don’t care what you have (one has) to say, and that is hugely demoralising. So when I opened an email from Vocal promising me that it’ll tell me how to earn $2000 a month I was straight on to it.

Reader, yes: I too fell for the clickbait.

Jonathan Sim’s article ‘How I Started Averaging Over $2000 a Month Writing on Vocal’ had an admirable second paragraph. He tells us in no uncertain terms that making that sort of money is haaaaard. Thanks Jonno; good pep talk. Honestly, that’s the bit that drew me in to the rest of the article. ‘If John Boy is going to be this honest, then I guess I really would like to know more,’ I thought.

I was disappointed. Not because of the content, but because of what it represents about the attitude to the ‘art’ of writing.

‘Create what people want to read’ he cries, in bold. So, we’re to be mercenary are we? Fill the internet with yet more pork and beans, shovelling it down the gullet of people sat on the toilet scrolling the web desperate to find articles telling them how to do things in the right way cos they’re petrified to be seen to do it wrong? We are literally being encouraged to create shit fois gras.

He goes on to tell us that he self promotes by going onto Facebook posts and Twitter threads pretending an article he wrote is just one that he too came across. ‘Hey guys! Pinch that loaf and swallow this! It’s so good. PERFECT’ This what I imagine he says anyway.

He offers a few more tidbits: no one wants 30 line paragraphs; put photos in, etc etc. Look, if you want to write clickbait and move towards your $2000 a month then this is fine advice. Seriously, take heed because it’s successful. It’s the graphic equivalent of...I dunno....early Little Mix?

It looks good, it’s not mentally taxing, and your dad’ll like it too.

What really got my goat was how he ends the article telling us how he does this because he loves it. Simmo, you don’t get to spend half an article telling us how you game the system, dupe the Marvel fandom, and churn churn churn for the money money money, and then tell us what a passionate writer you are.

Part of writing is that you cannot please everybody. Look at JK Rowling: once wonderful, treasured: the witch (and wizard) queen. Now, allegedly, she’s an anti-Semitic transphobe. And, good for her, she doesn’t really care what the internet thinks, because she wrote what she loved. You don’t have to love her work, but in no way did she write thinking ‘Hmmmm how googleable is ‘Harry’...?’

I would argue very strongly that the ONLY way to write is to write what you need to write. It doesn’t matter if it’s popular, doesn’t matter how long your paragraphs are, it doesn’t (honest) even matter if your grammar is rubbish. If what you write when you’re passionate and engaged is good enough then people will come with you. If you game the system and build your fake following then you will eventually be left behind.

Left behind on a massive pile of money, but at what price....

So, be honest with what you write. Don’t pretend that you’re not writing for clicks when you are, and vice versa. Believe in yourself because if you don’t then no one else will. You may not be famous in this lifetime, but that didn’t hurt Mozart...

For those who scrolled, here is my order in which to watch the movies, and it is PERFECT!

Watch them in....THE ORDER THEY WERE MADE! Seriously.

Firstly, they evolved, and if you don’t evolve with them then you just find the older ones a bit ropey.

Secondly, the actors get old (apart from some younging up of SLJ), so jumping about is gonna put you off your rhythm.

Thirdly, and most importantly, you need to do future you a favour. With all this jumping about of the release dates all that does is mean producers have to future proof their movies. This means:

No deviation

No directorial finesse

Limiting of effects as technology gets better

The knowing nods and winks that get a true geeks juices flowing will become so obvious as to be meaningless, and the alpha geek is yet more completely subsumed into the average Joes.

Finally, please read JS’s article here so you can check if I’m talking utter balls.