Movie Review: 'Past Lives'

Past Lives (2023)

Directed by Celine Song

Written by Celine Song

Starring Greta Lee, Teo Yoo, John Magaro

Release Date June 30th, 2023

Published July 3rd, 2023

The opening scene of Past Lives catches you immediately off-guard. Our main characters are in a bar together but we are not with them. We are watching them from across the bar as we listen to characters we will never meet, talking about our main characters. These strangers speculate about who our main characters are, whose the husband, who is the lover or ex-lover, are they family members? What is their dynamic? It's the kind of conversation many of us nosy people have had about strangers in public for years. It might break with formal film construction to begin the movie from a perspective other than that of your main character but this breaking of formality is rather brilliant once you come to understand the story being told in Past Lives.

24 years ago, in South Korea, Nora (Greta Lee) became friends with Hae Sung (Teo Yoo). They may have had more than friendly feelings for each other, but they were too young for that kind of thing. They did go on what their mother's called a 'date' but, again, too young for them to actually know what that means. In school they competed and encouraged each other. When Hae Sung finally beat Nora on a test, she cried and he offered her comfort, in the sort of rudimentary way a teenage boy might offer comfort. Their friendship is rather lovely until Nora bluntly informs her class that her family is moving to America, and she fails to prepare her best friend for this bombshell.

He's clearly hurt by this and the two part ways almost silently, their last word being a simple and blunt 'Bye.' The story picks up again 12 years later. Nora is living in New York City and is thriving in her growing career as a writer. During a random conversation with her mother, she wonders about Hae Sung and whatever became of her first childhood crush. In using social media to look for him, she finds that he's been looking for her. Unaware that her name is now Nora, he'd taken to a Facebook page for one of her father's movies, he's a respected film director, to see if he could get help locating Nora. She sends him a message and they start a deep flirtation over Skype.

This goes on for a while but the roadblocks between them prove insurmountable. Hae Sung is supposed to travel to China for an important work assignment. As for Nora, she's earned her way into a prestigious writer's retreat. Neither is willing to give up their goals for the chance to be together and Nora urges them to part ways, if only until they've both reached a more secure place. The two would not speak again for another 12 years. In that time, Nora has met and fallen in love with a fellow writer attending that aforementioned writer's retreat. John Magaro co-stars as Arthur, Nora's husband.

The main plot of Past Lives is centered on Hae Sung coming to New York and Nora agreeing to meet with him. For his part, Arthur, takes this incredibly well. Rather than being jealous, Arthur uses this moment to discuss the feelings this meeting has inspired in him, not jealousy per se, but an insecurity that he's likely wrestled with even before this unique moment in their relationship arrived. In a terrific conversation in bed, Arthur and Nora have an honest conversation about their marriage, their routine, and Arthur's concern about whether he is enough for her.

I've always felt strongly that trust is the most important aspect of a marriage. We take for granted how our insecurity in our relationships effect our partner. It's a self-centered narrative, not feeling worthy or not feeling like enough. When you express this to your partner, they may react with reassurance but they may also feel a sense of betrayal, they might feel as if them being and remaining married to their partner should be enough to communicate the depth of their bond. Essentially, feeling insecure in your relationship betrays a lack of trust that you have that your partner loves you and that can be hurtful to your partner.

Past Lives is both about this kind of feeling and about so much more than this. It's about the effect you have on the lives of others that you may not have realized. It's about how particular memories, commonalities, and nostalgic memory play a role in attraction. It's about the weight of our personal histories and how they shape who we become. These are the broad strokes but Past Lives has an essential specificity in the performances of our three leads that takes these bigger ideas and embodies them in a familiar and engrossing humanity.

Greta Lee is remarkable in what is truly the lead role in Past Lives. She has a complexity and self-possession that Celine Song explores in revealing detail. Lee's ability to reveal Nora, unravel her just a little via these two men she cares about, is a deft and delicate piece of work. The subtle shades she brings to Nora are beautifully explored, organic in nature, and achingly human and relatable. The subject here is having powerful emotional connections to two very different people and how to manage, process, and safely explore those feelings and Past Lives, via Lee's performance, explores these ideas brilliantly.

Past Lives is the kind of movie that sparks your imagination in unique ways. It leads you to conversations about it and its many, many ideas about life, love, relationships, friendships, and the dynamics of the heart and mind. It invites you to consider the role you play in the lives of others and how any meaningful interaction you've had with another person has changed you in some way, for good or for ill. It's about how the impressions you make on others matter in ways we most often overlook. It's about a gentle, thoughtful exploration of these ideas via three wonderfully complicated and warm characters. Past Lives is one of the best movies of 2023.

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